Flight APC 2027 NG

“Ladies and gentlemen”, the veteran but ageing Captain-in-Chief and Pilot in Command of aircraft APC 2027 NG calls into the mike from his cockpit. The rowdy plane fell silent instantly. “Ladies and gentlemen. It has become necessary for me to address you all at this point in our flight.” He paused for a short breath […]

“Ladies and gentlemen”, the veteran but ageing Captain-in-Chief and Pilot in Command of aircraft APC 2027 NG calls into the mike from his cockpit.

The rowdy plane fell silent instantly. “Ladies and gentlemen. It has become necessary for me to address you all at this point in our flight.” He paused for a short breath and then continued. “As you all know, this plane can carry only 600 passengers,” he boomed into the mike, knowing that he had everyone’s rapt attention. “But out of the love you all have for me,” he said with a fake smile on his face, “We now have over 4,800 people on board.”

The C-in-C, as he is often called, knows very well that not all the passengers on the plane care about him, if any at all, a sentiment he more than reciprocates, since they are all in it for themselves and the sweet destination they are headed, if they can get there with such an overcrowded plane. Once he lands successfully, he will know who to keep and who to throw out with his renewed power, as he did during Flight APC 2023 NG. But for now, they are with him, and in any case, where else would they be? All the other flights are grounded and cannot fly to the same destination, he said with a knowing, self-congratulatory smile.

“No be only fair competition for all aircraft and airlines, fear competition ni,” he muttered inaudibly to himself, and continued. “It is my responsibility to commandeer this plane safely to our destination, only about 200 miles away. So, I urge you all to be patient so we can land safely in our Promised Land, and we can all enjoy the fruits of our labour. Therefore, welcome on board, everyone”.

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The chief captain’s pregnant remark stunned many on board, and soon enough, all hell broke loose in the cabin. Groups of three or more passengers can be seen tugging at the seats, each displaying their booking passes and insisting that they had paid for and been allocated to the same seats. “Get off my seat now!” one hefty-looking passenger bellowed out at another, as a thunderous sound of a slap was heard towards the back cabin of the plane. Fights had broken out between the passengers in some spots, and the flight attendants have been kept busy trying to prevent an outright riot from breaking out on the plane.

But even they had gotten into trouble with some of the passengers who accused them of bias, greed and outright fraud in seat allocation and service. “How can you reallocate my seat to this man who joined us at the last stop by a connecting flight? What kind of injustice is this? You have been doing this for a long time, but I will not take this nonsense from you today,” one particularly defiant passenger at the northernmost part of the plane fumed. He was speaking to the Chief Flight Attendant, who only looked even more bemused, a wry smile on his face.

To their right, just around the southern corner of the plane, another passenger in a bowler hat shouted out. “I paid my fare, with even extra on top,” he said earnestly to no one in particular, his face animated with anger and disbelief. He turned towards the Senior Flight Attendant, who had gotten himself a Super VIP seat, and added: “I have paid my dues for this airline since 2015. For 10 years, I have been on this flight, patiently waiting my turn for one of the 36 First Class seats. And now that it is my emilokan, you have brought somebody else who just boarded this plane yesterday to take my seat”, he said with ominous feeling. “Over my dead body. This plane will crash first,” he thundered. Everyone saw him speak as the icy menace in his voice and face was unmistakable.

The bowler-hatted man was in fact, voicing the thoughts of many passengers. It was a makeshift plane right from the beginning, cobbled together from the engine, body, and wings of three different aircraft, just in time for the 2015 quadrennial National Airlines Competition. But to the surprise of many, it won that round quite handily, although with significant help from passengers aboard the previous serial winner, PDP Airways NG.

The new plane won again in 2019 and 2023, though it faced stiff competition from the old and battered PDP Airways NG, LP Angry Airwaves NG, and Air-Dubious NNPP NG. Twelve years on, Flight APC is no longer new and its patched-up parts are tearing at the seams.

And because of the bad weather caused by the Chief Captain’s own reckless flying style, many of the passengers in the rival planes have de-flighted to Flight APC 2027 NG, leaving it overloaded and cramped, with over 4800 passengers on board for only 600 seats. As a result, many of its old passengers have been forced to stand by the aisle, queue behind the opportunistic newcomers or even sit on the bare floor. “How could we all reach the destination on this same plane? Worse, the new faces were the enemies from rival airlines only weeks ago. Now, they are ahead of us, and neither the Chief Captain nor the Chief Flight Attendant is saying anything reassuring.

“We cannot take this lying down even if it means crash-landing the plane altogether,” many of the old passengers thought quietly.

In the cockpit, meanwhile, the Co-Pilot, or Second Officer in Command as he is sometimes called, is normally a competent and loyal assistant to the veteran captain. But he, too, is now worried about the direction of the flight and his place in it.

For much of the past 100 miles, he had gazed suspiciously at his boss, not sure of anything, as the plane lurched from one headwind to another. The Chief Captain’s young son sometimes barges into the cockpit at will, and often fancies himself as Captain and Co-pilot all at once. This is an irritating violation of the norms of flying, no doubt, but as a patient lamb and loyal assistant, the Co-pilot had put up with it.   Right now, however, there are bigger problems. He had seen some masked faces behind the cockpit door, all dressed like co-pilots, and knocking to be let in. What do they want in a cockpit that has space only for two, never mind the irritating exuberance of a chief captain’s son? He wondered. “Oh, wait! Am I getting thrown out of the cockpit, and is this why the Chief Flight Attendant and other members of the crew no longer call me by title of Co-Pilot and Second Officer in Command?”

The Co-Pilot wondered even further, to himself alone, even though many believed he had remained most loyal and had tried to lie low in the face of such affront.

Moreover, the Co-Pilot thought he recognised the face of Honourable Dogaraniyya behind one of the masks. Dogaraniyya was formerly a friend of the Chief Captain but who, in a fit of anger just before the 2023 competition, got off the APC plane because he missed the position of the Co-Pilot himself. The Co-Pilot thought the face behind the second mask was that of Malam Ribaduniyya, the Chief Security Officer (CSO) of the entire flight. But could it be Ribaduniyya? After all, he is no longer heard, let alone seen, anywhere nowadays. Could he really be the one?

More worryingly, the Co-Pilot thought he also saw the face of Excellency Ubasaniyya behind another mask, angling and banging on the cockpit door too. The Co-Pilot can’t say whether there is a fourth mask, but Ubasaniyya, like all gatecrashers, certainly appears more ambitious, and therefore possibly more treacherous. So, the Co-Pilot looked once again into the face of the Chief Captain for answers, but drew blank. Well, it doesn’t matter, he thought. What will be will be, he says in his now well-known cockpit philosophy.

As the cockpit door banged once again, yet another uproar in the cabin could be heard. Many passengers were crowded around the windows, and not a few were murmuring loudly. Everyone was looking at Flight ADA 2027 NG, a whole new carrier in this competition, as it was taking off at full speed from a nearby makeshift runway. And for once, many passengers aboard the APC flight heaved a sigh of relief as Destination 2027 suddenly looked bright all over again.