Four nil – goalless draw

– Nice dance moves you’ve got there. – Yes o. – Your cows are luckier than Sai Baba’s. – Cows? – Yes now, most Naija big men have cows with Fulanis. – Biko, please don’t link me with herdsmen; I don’t even rear chickens. – It’s people like you who make the smuggling of expired […]

–Nice dance moves you’ve got there.

–Yes o.

–Your cows are luckier than Sai Baba’s.

–Cows?

–Yes now, most Naija big men have cows with Fulanis.

–Biko, please don’t link me with herdsmen; I don’t even rear chickens.

–It’s people like you who make the smuggling of expired chickens lucrative business. 

–Seriously I don’t like Fulani jokes, its dangerous. Someone might think I am one of the godfathers of bloody herdsmen.

–Nonsense, Fulanis are our brothers, this nonsense too shall pass.

–I have warned you if you are a true friend, don’t link me with cattle rearers.

–So tell me who beats drums for your tadpole?

–Finally, APC has found the mojo.

–Really?

–Yes o, government is to unveil the magic blueprint to transport us from recession to progression and grow the economy by seven per cent.

–Politricians!

–What?

–They’re like suitors – always hoodwink with lofty dreams.

–It’s a plan prepared by a team led by the Vice President. It was officially announced to a UNICEF chief last week, so it’s not a ruse.

–Beware!

–Beware of what?

–Of election-induced plans. How long has this government been in power?

–We must commend their capacity to conceive this blueprint and believe them to deliver it.

–Your case is like that of the man who dreamt that he made millions; woke up and set fire to his old house believing he would build a new one.

–How is that?

–The APC has been in government for two years abi?

–Well, yes, nearly two years.

–And it is now that they are unfolding an economic blueprint?

–Well, better late than never…

–Re-electioneering campaign has begun.

–This serious business.

–I’ll see it in action to believe it. Politricians are very crafty. So it is now, they hope to take us out of the blues? How do you deliver growth when we just lost nearly 80% of our power generation capacity or has God given you guys the keys to the sun?

–Be positive, things will work.

–We have just lost the most important blueprint and you’re talking about being positive.

–The most important blueprint – the ERGP has not even been fully unfolded yet.

–Who cares about ERGP? I am talking of the plank on which the APC campaigned and came to power?

–Have they replaced the broom with a vacuum cleaner?

–If they do where is the power to drive it? I am talking of the serial loses in the courts.

–Serial loses?

–Government has lost four high profile anti-corruption cases in the courts of law. It was four-nil by the last count.

–4-0, it’s not a draw if someone has four.

–You will get the joke if you were a football fan. But four cases lost, just like that in one week.

–I don’t get you.

–You will get me if you’ve been reading the Trust. Between Monday and Thursday last week, we lost four highly mediatized anti-corruption cases. First Mike Ozekhome got the cheques to his N75 million account; the next day Abubakar Malami discovered that the N2 million Orubebe haul was actually not missing from the treasury.

–Hum.

–Then on Wednesday, we lost propriety to Justice Ademola and his wife regained access to their $520,000  as the case against them was struck out.

–That’s the judiciary for you, but government is appealing.

–The judisharing ke? Okay o. Finally, last Thursday; the courts gave Madam Patience back her $5 milla.

–I know… the judiciary is not with government in its anti-corruption war.

–Heh, leave the judisharing out of this matter, you hear. Was the legislature in it with you? What about even some members of the Executhief? But forget that for once and ask yourself what kind of prosecutors handled these cases? 

–Huum.

–Looks like sloppy investigation to me. The prosecutors were obviously more interested in trial by media than gathering ironclad evidence that could be used to convict people in the court of law. Morality, public opinion and legality are not the same – that was why we have been telling them to follow due process instead of buying public sympathy with shifty evidence that cannot stand in the face of law. 

–So you think people are not corrupt?

–I know some people are corrupt, but you can’t just take people to court simply because you found money in their house, or in their warehouse, the courts don’t convict based on public outcry, they follow the law.

–So how do we win this war?

–Find evidence, get witnesses or use forensic evidence and for God’s sake use competent hands to handle prosecution. This is not a good thing for us and if it continues, we may lose more than twice.

–How?

–If the discharged seek redress for defamation, the courts would award them costs – that would be a double loss and I see it coming.