Giving up your kids to please your wife

There is the saying that love is blind but in some cases, it can be easily said that love is wicked. How does one explain a man looking for a new home for his children because his wife-to-be says she doesn’t want to have anything to do with the children and so can’t live with […]

There is the saying that love is blind but in some cases, it can be easily said that love is wicked. How does one explain a man looking for a new home for his children because his wife-to-be says she doesn’t want to have anything to do with the children and so can’t live with them in the same house, despite the fact that she knows the children’s mum is dead. This is the plight of a sibling who feels for his brother (the widower). 

He says, “I feel for my brother because he wants to satisfy his wife-to-be by looking for a new abode for his children in any our (siblings) houses. We have agreed not to accept the children as we all know he loves his children. We also feel the woman is taking undue advantage of his gentleness.” 

Charles Edike, 40-year-old engineer, asks, “Why on earth would any right thinking woman give a widower such a condition? The norm was men not wanting to inherit children of their women and not this. Women are generally more accommodating, especially when she knows that their mum is no more. She is now asking the man to abandon his children for her sake. She is not realistic, how could she even imagine that? She has a greedy heart. I will suggest that he forgets about her because any woman that would want to divide a home shouldn’t be welcomed in that home. If she really loves him, she will love everything that has to do with him especially the children.”

Jasmine Ikechukwu, 39-year-old marketer, does not subscribe to the children being separated from their father because of a woman. “Let your brother leave that woman and get a wife that will take care of those kids as her own. He should never take his children out to live with another family, not even his siblings, when he is still alive because of a woman. Those kids are his flesh and blood and any woman who can’t tolerate them or live with them isn’t fit to be his wife. These children need a mum now more than ever. Haba, their mother is no more, so why is she being childish about it.” 

Temilade Oluwashola, 38-year-old nurse, says, “The girl is not a good person. He should move on with his life, what problem could she have with children that she is yet to set eyes on? On a second thought, I think it’s God that is showing the intending husband the type of person she is. She may pretend to love the children and begin to treat them badly when no one is watching.  And with this attitude, she will one day decide that none of his relatives can come to the house or have anything to do with him. A word they say is enough for the wise.” 

Murjanatu Bello, 40-year-old civil servant, believes that the law of Karma can never spare anyone who despises such kids. “Does she believe in karma? I am a strong believer of what goes around comes around. Does she know what will happen to her in future or even her children? Who on earth despises children? No one needs such negativity, not me, not you, not the children and definitely not a family. She should not be allowed to come destroy or break a happy family. Does she think the soul of the children’s late mother will allow her rest if she succeeds in separating them from their dad? If you ask me, she is just after money and nothing more and if care is not taken, she will end up killing the man. If she can’t take care of those kids then she doesn’t want to be a stepmother and if she is not ready to be a step mum then she should have no business dating a man who has children, period!”

Maimuna Usman, 38-year-old beauty expert, says, “Look, marriage is a life time commitment and it comes with a lot of surprises and problems. Raising another woman’s children is not an easy thing because any mistake you make, people will say it is because they are not her children. That said, if you want to marry a man with kids, you have to love him and his kids, it is either all or nothing.”