Goshin Bauna quarrels with H.E.

The way we do politics here in Nigeria, if one is not careful he will easily go mad. I was therefore very glad when I went away for one month. My political aides insisted that I should not go on holiday. They said in Nigerian politics there is nothing like holiday because if politicians come […]

The way we do politics here in Nigeria, if one is not careful he will easily go mad. I was therefore very glad when I went away for one month. My political aides insisted that I should not go on holiday. They said in Nigerian politics there is nothing like holiday because if politicians come to your house and they don’t see you, they can go and spread rumours, saying you are running away from the people, that you are an Abuja politician.
The story was so juicy that on the day I arrived back in our state capital, Birnin Tafki, all my political associates were falling over themselves to break it to me. I had one foot out of the car; the second foot was still in the car when Maikahon Karo broke the story to me. It is a development that could change my fortunes greatly in this 2015 election race. My top rival in the party primaries, Goshin Bauna, has quarrelled with his mentor, His Excellency the Governor.
The quarrel is so serious that Goshin Bauna has abandoned his office as Commissioner for Works. Rumours are rife that the Governor will soon do a cabinet reshuffle and sack him but even before that, Goshin Bauna has not been seen in his office for more than 10 days. His driver said he travelled; his messenger said he is sick; one of his friends said he is angry with H.E. while another friend said Goshin Bauna has resigned from the cabinet. No one has seen him in the Government House for two weeks, when he used to go there every day. There was a naming ceremony in the Governor’s residence, he did not attend. There was a rally to welcome the party national chairman to the state, he was not there. There was a ceremony to launch a road rehabilitation program, and the Commissioner for Works was not there. In fact, most of the men who used to congregate at his campaign office have melted away. Rumour has it that spies from the Government House drive by Goshin Bauna’s campaign office and anybody who is seen there, his contract money will not be paid.  
 It is difficult to say where Goshin Bauna is, but even more difficult to say what caused the quarrel between the two very close friends. Within 24 hours of my arrival, I heard four different versions of what caused the quarrel. When Maikaho first broke the story to me, I asked him what caused it. He said his scout told him that it was caused by money. That the two men travelled to Switzerland and by the time they came back, they were not on speaking terms because H.E. checked his bank account and found that Goshin Bauna had been pilfering it. That was what Maikaho heard.
However, that night, Tsinin Kusa came with a different story. He was very sure of his version of the story because he said he heard it from a party official who heard it from a member of the state assembly who said he heard it from the speaker. It was not money that caused the quarrel, Tsinin Kusa swore. “That H.E, who is so tight fisted like he has araldite in his palms, how will he give his money to anyone to keep for him? Impossible!” What caused the quarrel, Tsini said, was a woman. He said anytime the two of them go to Abuja, they will disappear from Tafki Governor’s Lodge and leave protocol and security officers frantically searching for them. Sometimes they will not resurface until the following day. He said Goshin Bauna always travels ahead of the Governor and arranges some women. He said, “There is one girl they brought from Chad. Very beautiful thing, and H.E reserved that one for himself. But you know Goshin Bauna is a chronic womaniser. He will chase anything in skirt. When he thought H.E. had gone back to the lodge, he sneaked back to the hideout and took the girl but H.E. went back there and caught him red-handed.”
I could only exclaim, “Is that?!” I know that kind of thing is possible because when I was in the Ministry of Health, I also teamed up with some fellow directors to do “private practice” as we called it. That was a long time ago. With three wives now, where is even the energy for private practice?
Anyway, later that night my youngest wife Goggon Abuja told me a different story. She said it was not the two men that quarrelled; it was their wives that first quarrelled and the quarrel later spread to the two friends. That what happened was that Goshin Bauna’s wife turned up at a wedding ceremony wearing three gold chains when the First Lady herself was wearing only two. That H.E.’s wife normally tells her friends in advance what she will wear to a public event so that no one should wear a similar thing. The thing she hates most is for someone to wear the same type of material she is wearing, or even another material of the same colour. First Lady seriously hates that. She also told her friends that for this particular wedding, she will wear two gold chains that she bought in Abu Dhabi. To her utmost shock, Goshin Bauna’s wife appeared at the event wearing three gold chains.
However, the next day, I heard yet another version of the story from my younger brother Bilal, the one who was chasing H.E.’s sister before Maikahon Karo forcibly separated the two of them. He said what caused the quarrel was that H.E. is secretly planning to take another wife. Goshin Bauna was his secret escort and he arranged for the girl to go to Studio 24 and do some enlargement photos. Goshin Bauna then packed the photos in a large envelop and sent his personal assistant to deliver them personally to H.E. in his office. The foolish man instead took the pictures to the house and gave them to the House Keeper, and they ended up in First Lady’s hands.
I think Bilal’s version was probably correct because Alhaji Gohe said the majority leader overheard H.E. saying, “Someone who cannot even handle common photographs, how can he handle a whole state?”