Hajiya Zainab Babagirei: A mother like a friend
It was the 25th of May, 2013 around 11:30pm when you looked away, stared into the TV in your hospital room and said to me “Umma, go home and rest. Come back in the morning.” I replied, insisting that I would prefer to spend the night at the hospital with you, but you insisted I […]
It was the 25th of May, 2013 around 11:30pm when you looked away, stared into the TV in your hospital room and said to me “Umma, go home and rest. Come back in the morning.” I replied, insisting that I would prefer to spend the night at the hospital with you, but you insisted I go catch some sleep, as I had not had some good rest for some days then. Reluctantly, I left for home, asking you what you would like to have for breakfast. As Allah had it all planned, that was the last time I ever saw you – or spoke to you – alive. From Allah we came, and to Him is our return.
The memories of that fateful morning haunt me as I returned to visit the lifeless body of my mother at her hospital ward. As of then, I still believed that somehow Mama Zee (as we fondly called her) would wake up and join us in our normal lives again. Alas, Mama was gone! Her last message to me through her sister and my aunt was that she was very thankful for all I had done for her. The dead seem to always have a premonition for the end.
There is very little doubt, if any, that Hajiya Zainab Babagirei has left a vacuum in our lives. She meant so much to so many of us, and we are still unable to fill the void she has left. And in four years, a lot has happened, Mama. I am now a married woman, with a daughter (your granddaughter, of course). Further, Zulai (my sister) has a second daughter who she has affectionately named after you. We all miss you, but who are we to question the will of our Creator? He certainly knows best.
Four years without you feels like forever. Nothing has changed, and the sting of death still hurts as fresh as it did that fateful day. Words can be deficient at certain times in life, and this is one of such moments. Words cannot simply express how I and every single life you touched miss you. However we are consoled by the exceptionally exemplary life you lived.
Mama Zee was a thorough disciplinarian, a counselor, a very good listener, a repository of knowledge and wisdom, an exceptional friend, an adorable sister, a loving wife, a dedicated grandmother and above all the greatest mother any child could have wished for. You were a rare gem and nothing can compare to you. We all have a lot of qualities, a lot of which we got from you. In that, we are truly fortunate. It is not lightly we say it, when we say you truly were an exemplary mother. And in the prior sentence lies pain, referring to you in past tense. But we are consoled by the fact that you will forever be in our hearts.
Streams of people brought their problems to you, but I never asked or knew who you took yours to until after your death. Until I remembered that every day from 1:00am till the break of dawn you were engrossed in prayers and supplication to the Almighty. I recall how I would at times insist that you go to bed and sleep and even once threatened, jokingly, that I would have to lace your food with sleeping pills so that you would be forced to rest. Again we ask the rhetorical question, why did you have to leave? But then, ‘Allah baya barin wani domin wani’ settles that question for eternity. In English, it means ‘Allah does not spare one person because of another’. He, after all, knows best and absolutely so.
Our lives have carried on ever since, Mama, in spite of the hollowness and emptiness brought about by your absence from our lives. We seek happiness, salvation and Allah’s Grace on our lives – Just the way you always wanted us to. We miss you and long to see you again, but clearly Allah’s love for you is even greater and that is why you are with Him. And we have never doubted His word that we too shall taste death one day. It is our prayer that He unite us all one day in His Peace – Aljannatul-Firdaus. Before then, may He continue to forgive you, spare you His punishment and wrath and grant your departed soul His unparalleled mercies and admittance to His best Jannah.