Handling a nagging partner

As couples settle down after their wedding, they realize that both of them might often disagree on how things are to be done around the house or in the relationship. In relationships sometimes, there are times when one partner withdraws while the other goes beyond limit or times when one partner is fed up or […]

As couples settle down after their wedding, they realize that both of them might often disagree on how things are to be done around the house or in the relationship.

In relationships sometimes, there are times when one partner withdraws while the other goes beyond limit or times when one partner is fed up or angered at the other person’s constant complaints.

Nagging has been identified as the most common issue that wreaks havoc on otherwise healthy relationships. It leads to physical abuse or breakup.

Dictionary.com defines nagging as “continually faultfinding, complaining”. In other words, it means to find fault or complain in an irritating, wearisome, or relentless manner.

LifeXtra sought to know how some people would handle nagging partners or spouses. 

Rita Chioma Onyeoma, a nurse, said “Though I can’t get myself entangled with a nagging partner but if one surfaces, first I will try as much as I can to find out why you nag and if there is a reason I will avoid it but if there is none I will just ignore you or try to make a joke of the whole situation whenever you nag.

“Secondly I will have a talk with my partner to know why nagging is the way out for him and we will seek for a solution together though it wouldn’t be easy but we will make it worth the time.”

Emeka Onuoha, an IT infrastructural professional, told LifeXtra that “Nagging or whining is a way some people discharge emotional pressure. Everybody does it one way or the other but with reasons most times.”

“However, in a situation where a partner nags without a cause, such attitude or behavior could be frustrating especially when the other party feels he/she has not done anything to deserve such criticism or nag.”

Onuoha added “If I happen to have a partner who perpetually nags, I will try as much as possible to accommodate her as much as I can after all, we are admonished to persevere in love with one another. As far as her nagging attitude does not resort to physical and emotional abuse, I will see it as one of those weaknesses of a partner one has to deal with.

“It’s easy for us to say that our partner is a nagging fellow, people don’t always nag because it gives them joy, the best bet is to pay close attention to our partners, find out what their worries and complaints are, deal with those problems and hopefully, the nagging will stop,” he concluded.

Stating the cause of nagging, Nathaniel D. Nwajei, founder of ‘Discover Nigeria’ said “Nagging could happen when one’s partner isn’t attentive or making necessary adjustment or ignoring the other person’s grievances.”

“In this case, the person who is said to be nagging is just trying to register their point and making sure it’s heard”

Stating how he would handle a nagging partner if he had one, he said “I will make sure I am attentive, making needed adjustments and try to avoid those things complained about, anything to make sure there is no need to repeat complaints. But if these solutions don’t work then I would have to air my opinion about the nagging situation and together come up with ways to prevent it. Else ignoring the person is the last resort.”

 Also speaking to LifeXtra, Alhassan A. Bala, a journalist, said “Nagging is annoying but the best way I think is to ignore the person and the second option is to stay away for a while.

Tosin Omoniyi, an Abuja-based reporter, added “If love is the foundation of such a marriage, then nagging can be handled if the couple communicate often. No one, as far as I’m concerned, nags for the fun of it. There is always a reason for it. A nagging partner can be assuaged through patience and constant communication. No partner is 100 per cent perfect. Love conquers all.”

His friend John Azu opined that patience and understanding is very key in handling the situation. If the nagging is consistent, you must seek the underlying cause (s) which you must attempt to address.

He added “However, if it’s a habit, meaning that no matter how good your efforts are they keep nagging, then be patient. Do not react to the provocation and give good space by avoiding conversations likely to touch on the conflagrating issue.”