Happily ever after: Myth or reality
Most of people have this illusion of a happily ever after marriage. For them, they believed that anything asides this notion is a failed marriage. Is it really possible to remain ever happy after marriage? The classic fairy tales most of us would have seen or read about in story books in always ended in […]
Most of people have this illusion of a happily ever after marriage. For them, they believed that anything asides this notion is a failed marriage. Is it really possible to remain ever happy after marriage?
The classic fairy tales most of us would have seen or read about in story books in always ended in a happily ever after situation. The prince and the princess become happy together and starting a new life full of love and affection, but no one really knows if they ever continued that way or something happened along the way.
“Happily ever after phobia is dangerous. It is the biggest myth that has been held by humans, which has led many couples astray. It is only in our imagination that you can have a happily ever after marriage where things just happens as we wish. Marriages are full of vicissitudes. The better we come to terms with this stack reality, the better it is for us. Take the rose flower as an example, it is nice and lovely, but has thorns on it. So, it is with marriage. I would advise any couple who wants to listen to look at happily ever after as one rough road full of challenges. The courage and strength to bear these challenges determines your happiness in marriage,” says Ramatu Abdullahi.
“When we are in love, we are in another world and could go extra miles to see that things work out rightly. Our sense of reasoning becomes vague, but after sometime the initial high emotions starts to wear off. Then we begin to face the real challenge. When I got married I always had that false notion of living a happily ever after, but after some months, the arguments and other problems started. Then it dawned on me that the illusion of a happily ever after ended even before our second anniversary. I can tell you that it only exists in fairy tales and cartoons and not real life, because I have been in both lives and in reality it just does not exist,” says Thelma Obianuju, a civil servant with the Ministry of Finance.
“Well in some cases happily ever after do happen, though they are rare in today’s setting. It happens with individuals who are willing to take active steps in their relationship to make it happen. Marriage is not a bed of roses, there are moments that you will have it going smooth and there are times that you will have it all crashing down on you. It is normal for such things to happen, there is always going to be compromises in marriage to live happily ever after, but the bottom line is learning to be satisfied with whatever situation we find ourselves and our happily ever after dream will fall in place.
“We cannot achieve the happily ever after marriage that we desire because of the way and manner in which things are done nowadays. Often in later stages of the marriage most people complain that their spouse are no longer the people they knew them to be and this where the problem lies. Love is a slow and steady thing and if well taken care of is a sure part to a happily ever after life with your partner,” Ustaz Abdulhakeem Dotun said.
With exploding egos and stressful lifestyles, one can say the concept of a lasting relationship is fast fading.
It is hard not to believe that everything good about the relationship will just continue to get better as time goes by. Many things improve in relationships, but some things become more difficult. Every successful marriage requires necessary losses.
Happily ever after may be for fairy tales, but that doesn’t mean there is no such thing as a happy and fulfilling marriage, but it is only possible for those who live in reality, not in the fantasy of make-believe myths. May we be able to see things in reality not illusions for a better happily ever after?