He said, she said but….

“You know, some men are totally and utterly shameless. I can’t think of any other way to describe them.’ Asabe said, while receiving the glass of carrot juice I was handing to her from the tray. ‘And what makes you say that?’ I asked, sitting next to her on the couch, in my sitting room. […]

“You know, some men are totally and utterly shameless. I can’t think of any other way to describe them.’ Asabe said, while receiving the glass of carrot juice I was handing to her from the tray.

‘And what makes you say that?’ I asked, sitting next to her on the couch, in my sitting room.

‘Just look at this Kwara man. He had no qualms about chasing his wife and daughters out of the house when it suited him but now that he saw them transform into celebrities of sorts and recipients of much monetary aid, he has decided to return and proclaim undying love for her. Shameless and greedy man”, he declared.

‘Don’t be too quick to condemn him Asabe. When he gave his side of the story, a few days ago, he said he never sent her packing, that she decided to leave on her own.’ I offered.

‘Maybe he didn’t specifically say “get up and leave my house” but what difference does it make if he did all he could to make her wish to leave? The thing is that he had all the chance in the world to make amends but he didn’t. Until he heard that some people had taken interest in her plight and launched an appeal to raise money for her. Even then, he could have appeared to deny her version of the story but he didn’t. He waited until it became obvious that the appeal was working. I mean with two Kwara First Ladies, Mrs Saraki and Mrs Abdulrazaq each donating a quarter of a million to her, and a whole cabinet minister Mr Sunday Dare,  pledging to sponsor her two daughters’ education, and hundreds of Nigerians contributing the little they could to help the blue-eyed trio, the man felt it was time to grace the scene. He now appeared with his weird tale, wishing to garner sympathy and partake of the goods. He certainly has no self-respect, the selfish fool.’ Asabe insisted.

‘I’m still appealing to you to stop castigating him so much. Unless they go to court, it’s a matter of “he said, she said” to us. But the truth is somewhere between the two. For instance, he said he couldn’t possibly send her away over her and the girls’ blue eyes because it was what attracted him to her. But she said his relatives subjected her to ridicule and insults over their blue eyes. She specifically cited an instance where his father, that’s her father-in-law, said he finds his granddaughters eyes scary. Then her mother said that Risikat left the house because he was keeping them hungry and neglected. His own brothers claimed that it was all lies because Rusikat’s husband always took good care of his family and could never starve them. So in a situation like this, it’s better not to stick to one version of the story, there may be more to it than meets the eye.’ I cautioned.

‘Haba Bint, I’m amazed that you are siding with this man. But the point I’m making is that whatever caused the lady to pack out of his house, he is only trying to woo her back because of what she has received from kind individuals and organisations who stood by her. And this isn’t the first time I’ve witnessed a situation like this. Maybe that’s why I believe the man isn’t sincere. As a rookie reporter, I was once assigned to interview a Sudanese woman whose husband ran away and left with seven kids. I wrote the report; we got her help and also linked her up with the Sudanese consulate in Kano.

No sooner did help come her way than the man appeared again claiming that they were never divorced. And years later, as an editor, we did the story of a woman in Maiduguri who had an overgrown tumour on her face. She was begging in order to feed herself and her kids because the husband had vanished. The moment we ran her story, the then First Lady of Borno, Hajiya Fatima Sheriff pledged to pay her hospital bill and so she was taken to University of Maiduguri teaching hospital for surgery.

Other well meaning individuals donated money to her so that after her surgery, our correspondent led the effort to buy her a sewing machine, a grinding machine, clothes and food stuffs for her and her children. Then out of the blues, her runaway husband shamelessly returned to resume their marriage. His claim also was that they were never divorced.

So, you now see why I can’t find it in my heart to trust this Kwara guy? If I were Risikat, I would never take him back. He is clearly a greedy opportunist. And if she failed to invest that money wisely, then he’ll surely kick her out again, the moment the money she got is gone.’ Asabe concluded.

‘Well, I certainly pray that he doesn’t do that to her. I mean she has become a mini-celebrity. He won’t get away with maltreating her so easily next time, if that was truly what he did at first.’ I replied, still giving him the benefit of the doubt.