Her dreaded monster

‘Well I do have a secret but it’s not a beauty one. In fact there are people who can’t stand my looks because of my secret.’ Hanne replied, walking ahead of me into her sitting room.‘Really, I wonder how blind these people are. How can anyone miss your brand new ultra-glow?’ I wondered, taking a […]

‘Well I do have a secret but it’s not a beauty one. In fact there are people who can’t stand my looks because of my secret.’ Hanne replied, walking ahead of me into her sitting room.
‘Really, I wonder how blind these people are. How can anyone miss your brand new ultra-glow?’ I wondered, taking a seat.
‘Those who think their being in this family means I’m an expired product.’ She answered, enigmatically.
‘Now I don’t know what you mean.’ I replied.
‘Let me get you something to drink, then I will tell you all about it.’ She promised, walking towards the kitchen.
‘I hope it’s your tiger-nut juice (kunun aya) that you’ll be offering me because no one does it better than you. But if you don’t have that, then just give me water.’ I requested.
‘Or but you are in luck, I just made a fresh one this morning. Like you, my husband thinks kunun aya is my specialty. So I have to keep a constant supply of it. Let me get you some straightaway.’ Hanne pledged. I was looking up the walls and admiring the nice decorations on them when Hanne returned.
‘You really have a lovely new house. Everything looks perfect. I’ve been meaning to come since you moved here last year but now that you live one hour away, visiting you is a journey one has to prepare for.
I’m sorry it took me this long to come.’ I said.
  ‘It’s alright Hajia Bint, better late than never. In any case, I too should have come to see you. But it’s been one thing after another since we got here. And by the time I became fully settled and ready to socialize, I got into the trouble that you believe has given me a beautiful new look.’ She explained, smiling.
‘And how is that?’ I asked, returning her smile.
‘Well, look!’ she said rising up to squeeze her blouse at the back so I could see her protruding belly. ‘I am pregnant.’ She announced happily.
‘Oh, mashaAllah, congrats.’ I said, rising up to hug her. ‘I thought you had closed up shop after your long rest.’
‘No, the rest was actually forced on me. But since it was God’s will for another child to come along, it had to end somehow.’ She replied.
‘Yes, no one can prevent what God has decreed. Does this mean that you were forced to do some birth control?’ I asked.
‘No, rather I was forced to retire from my marital duties.’ She replied simply.
‘Forced to retire, by who?’ I asked.
‘You see, the day my husband took a second wife, he came by the house in the evening to pick some things. His bride’s home was on the next street from ours. He filled a small suitcase, wished me good night and walked out to his car. I was with the kids in my room when he came in earlier. And that was where I was when he left. I expected him back after a week because that’s what his bride was entitled to but he never returned. Every day when the older kids return from school, he will drop by and see them. He will play with Muhammad, who was only a year old and after an hour or so he will rise and leave. Weeks turned into months and months into years but he never once tried to sleep in our home again. My amazement turned to anger and then to frustration that I was faced with a situation I couldn’t do anything about……’
‘Who said you couldn’t do anything about it?’ I interrupted, ‘Why didn’t you confront him and ask why he abandoned you?’ I demanded.
‘I had my pride. I told myself that I wouldn’t ask for his attention if he didn’t know that I had a right to it, as his wife. We had lived for ten years and had five children. In all that time I never had to beg for his attention or affection. If his taking a new wife means I have to beg him to be with me, I decided it wasn’t worth it. I continued to live with my pain in silence.’ She concluded.
‘But you didn’t have to. Couldn’t you have told his parents or an aunt?’ I asked.
‘No, I couldn’t face the public humiliation that my husband had abandoned me and I needed their help to get him back.’ Hanne replied.
‘But there is nothing wrong with that. In any case he was at fault and it is their duty to guide him to what is right.’ I argued.
‘Yes, but if only you knew what they did when he was getting married in the first place. No one in that family felt it was right to tell me or even encourage him to tell me. They probably wanted me to know only when the bride was already here. And these were people I thought I got along well with. Then three days to the wedding, a group of his female relatives came to see me.
I treated them well, like I normally did. That must have made his stepmother feel some guilt. For she suddenly asked for more water and insisted that I should get it for her myself. When I rose to get it from the kitchen, she followed me to say that it mustn’t be cold, it should be room temperature. Then she moved close to me and said she had something upsetting to say but that she wouldn’t say it until I promised her not to react. I did and she quickly told me that my husband was getting married in three days time but the whole family had decided I mustn’t know unless he told me himself. I immediately felt close to tears but fought them back because of the promise I made to her. I went back to the sitting room and sat quietly with them. My husband’s step-mum rose that very moment and said they should leave and they left.
So you see why I couldn’t ever run to them with my problems. Anyway, I put up with his neglect and the children got used to his not sleeping in the house and stopped asking me about him. Exactly three years after his wedding, he got promoted at work and transferred to this town. The job came complete with this twin houses and he had to relocate us both here. For the first time ever we live next-door with his bride. But still he couldn’t bring himself to sleep here.
A few weeks after we settled in, his elder brother came to visit. He jokingly said that he was used to coming for naming ceremonies every two years in this house but now it’s been four years since anyone invited him. He looked at me and said that if I was on birth control, I should stop it because he wanted to see a new child in this family soon.
Not knowing what to say to him I lowered my gaze and looked at my hands. My husband quickly replied ‘No problem, in a few months’ time, we will invite you to a naming ceremony inshaAllah.’ Hearing that, I thought his new wife was pregnant but I didn’t say a word. From that day on he will come to our side after every two days and spend the night in his room. Then he walked over to my room one day and gave me a long speech about how he hated himself for what he did and how he desperately needed my forgiveness. I agreed to put the past behind us.
The result of that reconciliation is the child I am now expecting.
Everyone seemed happy about the new development except the lady next door. Not only is she unhappy that she had not been able to give him a child, she is also unhappy that I am expecting another.
The first time she noticed my pregnancy, when we met and greeted at the car port on my way out, she looked horrified, like someone who had seen a dreaded monster. Then she went into the house and threw tantrums that her husband must force me to abort because it won’t be fair if I had a sixth child while she had none. He reminded her that she had all the chance in the world to get pregnant because for three good years she had him exclusively to herself. They quarreled a little more and she packed her things and left.’ Hanne explained.
‘Well good riddance. Any woman who will encourage her husband to abandon his family is a devil. She is the monster not you. You are just a glowingly beautiful expectant mother.’ I assured her.