Her ideal one (II)

‘In that case let her talk to people she knows her father will listen to, like his parents, siblings, uncles or best friend. Anyone who can argue her case well and bring the father back to her side, since it’s obvious that her mother is a lost case.’ Tahir suggested.  ‘Well I gave her this […]

‘In that case let her talk to people she knows her father will listen to, like his parents, siblings, uncles or best friend. Anyone who can argue her case well and bring the father back to her side, since it’s obvious that her mother is a lost case.’ Tahir suggested. 

‘Well I gave her this same suggestion but she said to me that her grandparents were dead and the only uncle her father is close to has declined her request to intervene.’ I replied.

‘You mean he actually said to her that he won’t help out?’ Tahir asked, incredulously.

‘No, not in so many words but he cleverly said to her “You know your father does not like interference in his family matters. That’s why I can’t say anything to him about your problem.” 

“But you are his uncle and in the absence of his parents, you are his living parent and therefore my grandfather. Surely there is no fault if you intervened in this matter because you are also family.” Harira pleaded but the old man stood his ground and said he won’t talk to her father. That was why she looked so sad at the supermarket. According to her, that great-uncle was her only hope of getting her father to see reason.’ I explained.

‘Well, she still has the option of reaching out to his siblings or friends. Advice her to do that.’ He offered.

‘Yes, she does have that option but her conclusion is that her father’s siblings and friends can’t be more influential than this one uncle and if he chickened out, for whatever reason, then his siblings aren’t likely to confront him and fight her case. Her father is after all the eldest in the family.’ I disclosed.

‘Really? Then let her report the matter to the Imam of their local mosque. As a religious leader, he is respected by all and is very likely to be listened to, by her father. He also has at his disposal all the ahaadith that recommend early marriage for any young couple who admire each other and whose religious status is not found wanting. I think someone like the Imam is just what Harira needs.’ Tahir concluded.

‘How about you? Why can’t you help us talk to Harira’s father?’ I asked.

‘Me? Are you crazy Bint? How can you expect me, a total stranger, to involve myself in such a family affair?’ He demanded.

‘Because sometimes strangers are better at delivering the right arguments because they are not encumbered by any previous knowledge of their audience’s likes and dislikes.’ I urged.

‘Forget this Bint, I won’t stick my nose in a situation like that. Remember his own uncle refused to intervene probably because he knows about his temperament. How do you expect a stranger like me to make an impact on him? Just tell her to try the Imam option. He just might hit the right chord with her father.’ Tahir insisted.

‘Yes, I know that’s possible but look at it this way. Harira’s mother is behind all this trouble because she doesn’t like the young man. But she is doing it in a clever way because she didn’t really send him away, she only gave him a task that will be impossible for him to do. If the Imam is notified and he calls her father, the father is very likely to say that he didn’t chase the suitor away but only asked him to do what is required, traditionally, during courtship. Then the imam is likely to wonder what the fuss was all about and might not exert any effort in order to help her. You, on the other hand know the inside story. You know what game the mother is playing and you know all about designer items and what it will mean for a struggling young man to fill ten suitcases and a vanity case with designer stuff. 

That’s why I’m appealing to you to help. I’d have gone to see the mother, if I knew she’d be reasonable but after what her daughter said, I know she won’t be. So you are our only hope, if you’ll oblige us. We can arrange for you to meet the father at his office. So that you can try your best to convince him without the knowledge of his wife. That way once you have succeeded, he will just go home and shock her with his resolve to stand by his daughter.’ I enthused.

‘You make it sound so easy Bint but something tells me it won’t be a smooth sail winning him back to her side when I am nothing but a total stranger. If only I can go along with one of his siblings, then it might make him more receptive to our arguments.’ Tahir suggested.

‘From what Harira said, I think her father is easy going and understanding, he is only taking this hard stance because her mother had convinced him the young man was a gold-digger. By the time you convince him about the young man’s sincerity, he can easily be swayed back to her side.’ I urged.

‘Ok, but I can’t argue about the sincerity of someone I haven’t met. I think the first step is for me to meet this young man. Call Harira and tell her to come and see us along with him. That will help me decide how best to approach her father.’ Tahir suggested.

‘I’ll do that immediately in sha Allah. Thanks very much Hubby dear. You have no idea how much good you’ll do by this intervention. The last thing Harira said to me was they will be forced to run away and get married, if all else failed. We have to prevent such a family scandal.’ I said.

‘Yes, we have to, in sha Allah.’ He replied, patting my hand in assurance, as he rose to leave the dining table.