Her Mexican Magic (II)

You have no idea what I am going through living with him in this house. I was almost a nervous wreck before Telemundo channel began to operate. Now it provides my only escape from the horror of my marriage to him.‘ Jabirah accused.‘What exactly do you mean by the horror of your marriage?’ I asked, […]

You have no idea what I am going through living with him in this house. I was almost a nervous wreck before Telemundo channel began to operate. Now it provides my only escape from the horror of my marriage to him.‘ Jabirah accused.
‘What exactly do you mean by the horror of your marriage?’ I asked, shocked by her accusations. 
‘Precisely what I said, my marriage to him has turned into a life in the house of horror. Ask him when was the last time he spoke politely to me or sat down to eat with me or even smile my way. The moment he sees me he begins to bark orders. He complains endlessly about everything in this house from his food to my clothes to our interior décor. The other time he even complained about how I was feeding the baby; that instead of an organized three-hour interval I was feeding him every thirty minutes. I had to explain that under the current baby-friendly lactation, we no longer tie babies to some feeding routine, instead you feed them anytime they demand it. But the bottom line is that he is only complaining now because of his new pre-occupation with complains. Otherwise this was how I breastfed our first born and he never said a word then. In fact Aunty Bint, he acts as if I give him maximum irritation so he has to react negatively whenever he sees me.’ Jabirah stated.
‘Is this true Hamisu, when did you become a nightmare husband?’ I turned to him in amazement.
‘You know she will say anything in order to defend herself. But I have always treated her right in this house.’ He countered.
‘You have? Then tell me why I begged you a few months ago to tell me what I did wrong that you now treat me with so much disdain. Wasn’t I crying when I told you that it seemed to me like I couldn’t do anything right anymore because everything I did only made you angry? When you said that there was nothing, that you were just weighed down by official demands in your life, didn’t I beg you to be kinder to me and at least communicate to me when you were disturbed so I can be sure to understand your moods? Yet you promised me all that but went straight back to your mistreatment. I remember confiding I my friend Jummai who said I should quickly find something to do because men are like that sometimes due to financial pressure.
I came back and asked your permission to seek employment but you wouldn’t hear of it. You said you didn’t want me to abandon your children. I then suggested some form of self-employment like making snacks from home and you said you will need time to provide me with some venture capital. In order not to burden you, I sought help from my elder brother and he promptly sent me N50,000 to start my business. But when I informed you raved and ranted and accused me of telling my siblings that you were too poor to fund my business. Finally you said you forbade me from starting any venture from your home until our son is weaned. And since he was only six months old at the time I knew I had about a year to wait. While I was waiting my anger and frustration were only growing by the day. And I had to dip my hand into the venture capital my brother gave me because I needed to. Suddenly you were no longer as generous as you used to be and since I had no other means of earning a living I simply began to spend that money. In the midst of all this feeling of helplessness, I discovered Telemundo channel. The stories speak to my heart. The characters are life-like and actually remind me of some of the people we have to put up with in our lives. Before I knew it I found my frustration waning and suddenly I found another reason to live and be happy again. Every day I have something to look forward to because the magical soap operas I’m following will continue. The love, the romance and the intrigues will once again chase my blues away. That’s why I watch them.’ She concluded, emphatically.
‘Just don’t hide behind any tales of woe to justify your TV addiction Jabirah. If you were so frustrated and angry, why didn’t you just leave? Why do you have to put up with me if I am as bad as you claim?’ Hamisu challenged.
‘Because I have a sick mother whose condition can only worsen if I showed up at her doorstep with a failed marriage. Moreover I hate the thought of having to raise my children in a broken home since I have heard horrible tales about such a life. But believe me if it wasn’t for these factors I would have long walked out on this marriage.’ Jabirah responded, defiantly.
‘Now, hold on you two.’ Tahir said, handing the baby back to me. ‘We are not here to be spectators to your quarrels. We are here to find a way to solve your problem. If you have no respect for our presence, then we will just leave.’ He threatened.
‘I’m sorry Uncle’ Hamisu said quickly, ‘It’s just that she is making up all these stories to gain your sympathy.’
‘Are you trying to tell me that she is lying about everything? Can you swear to that?’ Tahir challenged him.
‘No Uncle, I can’t swear to anything but believe me she is exaggerating.’ He claimed.
‘Well thank God I have a witness to my state of distress. When I went to see my doctor a few months ago, he complained about my rising blood pressure, he said that even in pregnancy I had always maintained a healthy BP. I told him about Hamisu’s changing ways and how it’s been a huge source of worry for me. He suggested calling him to have a chat but I opposed it because knowing Hamisu he could just accuse me of reporting him to my doctor. And I can call the doctor to confirm what I just said Uncle.’ She offered.
‘No there is no need to call the doctor.’ Tahir declined. ‘It is obvious to me that your husband has grown into a difficult person and is entirely to blame for your TV addiction.’ Then looking at his nephew he said ‘How can a young man like you grow so dictatorial and distant in just five years of marriage? With just two children and a successful career ahead of you, you should grow closer to your wife and children so you can all be happy together. If it’s your career success that is making you feel you are now too big to be a good companion for your wife, then let me tell you that you can’t get far with that attitude. Even Rasulillah SAW had said that ‘The best among you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best of you to my wives.’ Surely it is to emphasize the importance of being good company to your wives that he, SAW proudly told his companions that he was the best of them to his family. It isn’t being high-handed and difficult and macho that wins a man respect, it is being nice, loving and gentle that makes a great and respected husband. You should learn from the example of the Holy Prophet SAW and at a lower level from my life with your Aunt Bint. Try that and your wife will be just the woman you want her to be. Everyone responds to love and kindness.’ Tahir advised.
‘As for you Jabirah,’ I took over from Tahir, ‘you have to reduce your dependence on Mexican movies however magically they help you fight your worries. For one you are exposing your daughter to a lot of adult viewing at only four years old. I know you’d think she’s too young to know what’s going on but you are wrong children are very smart and very have very retentive memories. Don’t expose them to all that romance and immorality. My own advice is join an Islamiyyah school and learn more about your religion and how to handle life’s various challenges. And remember that one day our eyes will testify against us for all that we have forced them to see. If you continue with your addiction, your eyes will have a lot to castigate you for on that day. Try and regulate your TV viewing.’ I urged.
‘Thank you Aunty, I might even give it up altogether if Hamisu will take all of Uncle Tahir’s advice.’ She said with a smile.