Her splendid isolation

‘She must be in her room’ he replied, ‘let me get you something to drink Aunty Bint.’‘Shouldn’t you let her know I am here first, then you can serve me a drink if you want to. That way it wouldn’t look like I had already made myself at home before I met my hostess.’ I […]

‘She must be in her room’ he replied, ‘let me get you something to drink Aunty Bint.’
‘Shouldn’t you let her know I am here first, then you can serve me a drink if you want to. That way it wouldn’t look like I had already made myself at home before I met my hostess.’ I advised with a smile.
‘Ok, let me call her line.’ Suleiman offered, picking up his phone.
‘I thought Malika’s room was somewhere down this corridor, why do you need to call her when you can easily reach it in a few seconds?’ I asked.
‘It’s much more convenient for me Aunty.’ He replied, fiddling with his phone.
‘Much more convenient because you are too lazy to leave your couch or too full of call credit that you don’t mind wasting it?’ I demanded.
‘It’s neither of the two situations Aunty. It’s just that I haven’t stepped foot into her room for over a year and I don’t think I want to do that now, so if you don’t mind I will use my phone to summon her like I always do when we have visitors.’ He explained.
‘But how come you haven’t been to her room for so long when you live next door to each other?’ I asked, horrified.
‘I took a vow early last year that I will never enter her room again until she did something I demanded of her, well she refused to do it and I am holding on to my vow.’ Suleiman summarized the story.
‘What could be so important as to make you swear you will not enter a room where your wife and two little children sleep? What if an emergency occurred and you have to help out?’ I again demanded.
‘Well luckily no emergency happened in the last 14 months. But I was forced to take the position I took because I need to make a point to Malika.’ He declared, curiously.
‘Can you tell me the whole story or should I summon her here so I can hear both of you at the same time?’ I offered.
‘I think it’s better to hear me out first then you can call her and verify what I said. If you call her now we may end up arguing and you will not be clear about the genesis of the problem.’ Suleiman suggested.
‘Ok then, but I think I’ll need that drink you offered me earlier.’ I requested.
‘You know we’ve been married for almost seven years now,’ he began as soon as he handed me a glass of ginger drink. ‘In all this time Malika will not sleep anywhere except in her room. When she was brought here as a bride, I asked her why she wouldn’t come to my room and her response was that a groom should do all the chasing. Thinking it was a bridal joke, I obliged her and always made the trip to her room every night. After five months I told her that she will have to start coming to my room, we were now past the honeymoon stage. She laughed and said ‘No way.’ But I didn’t think she meant it so I kept to myself for weeks without her making that move. In the end I had to swallow my pride and continue coming to her room whenever I needed her company. By now she was pregnant so I kept telling her that when the baby was born, her bridal reign will officially be over so she will have to be doing what was right i.e coming to my room to sleep. But nothing changed.’ He observed before I interrupted ….
‘Did she ever tell you what she was running away from?’ I asked.
‘No, after her initial excuse that it was a groom’s duty to do all the chasing, she never offered any other reason.’ Suleiman explained.
‘So in seven years of marriage, she doesn’t even know what the interior of your room looks like?’ I asked, incredulously.
‘No, she does because she comes in to talk to me, especially if there were visitors and she needed a private word with me. The only thing she wouldn’t do is to go in there and sleep. One day I told her just how embarrassing it was for me to be seen sneaking back to my room at dawn, since we do not have adjoining doors and we tend to have a regular stream of overnight visitors who sleep in the guest room. I explained that it was more natural if she was seen leaving my room every morning because that was expected of her but not the other way round but Malika wouldn’t budge. Then as a compromise I told her that I once lived in an Arab town where once a week, it is their tradition that the wife will seek out the husband, and that is every Thursday night; so I said I will be happy if she can choose just one night in a week, during which she will be coming to my room and the rest of the week she’ll be free since she hated the idea of doing so. She didn’t even bother to reply to my suggestion. So just before our second child was born last year, I went into her room and told her that I had had enough and that I was in her room for the last time till she decides to do what I wanted. After our son was born I only asked to see him in the sitting or in my bedroom. I never went in there and she never complained. That boy is 13 months old today and that’s how things are with us.’ Sulaiman concluded.
‘But this is sad, how can Malika insist on getting her way on an issue that is seriously threatening your marriage? I think you better call her here so we can find out what the problem is.’ I responded. 
‘Okay Aunty,’ he replied before picking up the phone to call his wife. Malika walked into the sitting room holding their son in her arms. She knelt and greeted me before putting the child into my outstretched arms.
‘How have you been Malika and how are the children?’ I asked, as soon as she was seated.
‘We are fine alhamdulillah, Aunty. How is Uncle Tahir?’ she asked.
‘He is well and sends his regards.’ I replied before I decided to go straight to the point. ‘I have been here a little while. I was surprised when I asked Sulaiman to call you and he picked up the phone to ring you. In the end I got the story out of him that he doesn’t enter your room these days. What is happening?’ I asked.
‘Well he made the decision about a year ago and since then he never stepped foot into my room again.’ She answered.
‘But there has to be a reason, how can he just decide to boycott your room?’ I prodded.
‘Yes we disagreed on certain things and he made his decision based on that.’ She explained.
‘Look, tell me the whole story, because I have heard his version of it and your snippets won’t help us in any way.’ I instructed. And at the tone of my voice she narrated her side of the story, which more or less corroborated what Sulaiman had said.
‘So why did you insist on him coming to your room? Where did you ever see that in practice?’ I demanded.
‘Like I told him, it is a man’s duty to do all the chasing and I was brought here a virgin, I can’t be expected to be too forward.’ Malika replied, defiantly.
‘Yes, it is a man’s duty to do all the chasing while he is courting you, before marriage. Once you are brought under his roof, his chasing is over you now have to try to please him. You live by his rules and there is nothing too forward about doing what your husband wants. Who said virginity is about playing hard to get with your husband? Well let me tell you something we were all taken to our husbands as virgins. We delivered the big prize intact but that didn’t mean we went about playing queens and demanding that they play by our rules. It just meant that we were proud of being virtuous and were grateful to Almighty God for enabling us to save ourselves for marriage. But we never forgot that we were duty-bound to please our men and do their bidding; as long as they do not contradict the injunctions of our faith. So wrap up your pride and accept the reality that and you have to do what your husband wants. Or is it because you are named Malika that you have to keep acting like a queen?’ I tampered my lecture with a joke.
‘No Aunty,’ she denied.
‘It’s that and the fact that she works and earns money so she doesn’t think she needs to keep me happy to survive.’ Sulaiman accused.
‘No, that’s not true.’ Malika again refuted.
‘Well whatever your reasons, you better rise up and do your husband’s bidding before I personally make sure that another virgin walks in through that door to take your place. Meanwhile, even if you end your splendid isolation tonight, you have to ask your husband’s forgiveness for 14 months of enforced celibacy and seek Almighty God’s forgiveness for keeping your husband unhappy all these years. I don’t know who put those crazy ideas into your head but whoever did that did not wish you well, believe me.’ I admonished.
‘Ok Aunty Bint, I will do as you said inshaAllah.’ And turning to her husband she said ‘I am sorry about everything Sulaiman, please forgive me.’