How bad is your LinkedIn etiquette?

The latest social media sexism scandal should make us all think about how we use LinkedIn. Earlier this month, Charlotte Proudman, a 27-year-old barrister, sent a LinkedIn invitation to connect to Alexander Carter-Silk, 57, a partner at the law firm Brown Rudnick. Not only did Carter-Silk accept the invitation, he went on to compliment Proudman […]

The latest social media sexism scandal should make us all think about how we use LinkedIn.
Earlier this month, Charlotte Proudman, a 27-year-old barrister, sent a LinkedIn invitation to connect to Alexander Carter-Silk, 57, a partner at the law firm Brown Rudnick. Not only did Carter-Silk accept the invitation, he went on to compliment Proudman on her photo, writing “ I appreciate this is probably horrendously politically incorrect, but that is a stunning picture !!! You definitely win the prize for the best LinkedIn picture I have ever seen.”
Proudman was not impressed. She replied, ticking off Carter-Silk for objectifying women, has said she’ll refer the matter to the industry standards body and has complained the CEO of Carter-Silk’s firm. Most controversially of all, she posted a screenshot of Carter-Silk’s message and her reply on Twitter, kicking off a social media storm that has now been picked up by mainstream media.
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Whatever your view on his comments and the proportionality of her response, the whole, sorry and slightly ridiculous saga should also make us think twice about who we connect to on LinkedIn and how we do it – especially if we don’t know them well. It is after, after all, a pretty fair bet that Carter-Silk now wishes he’d ignored Proudman’s invitation altogether.
So, what is a good Linkedin policy?
Neil Munz-Jones, author of The Reluctant Networker says that he used to be pretty selective about who he accepted invites from. Now, he has become less so and uses LinkedIn as a kind of Roldex, “I’m happy to connect to anyone I’ve ever met in a business or even social context, even if it’s just for a brief chat.”
However, he cautions it is worth perhaps being warier with people you have never physically met. You shouldn’t necessarily say no – strangers may be headhunters or potentially useful contacts – but it is worth asking yourself why they want to connect and what, if any, kind of agenda they might have. Sometimes a glance at their profile page is enough but if there’s doubt, Munz Jones suggests sending a message saying, “Let’s have a quick chat” as this gets rid of nearly everyone who wants to connect for ignoble reasons.
It’s also OK to ignore connections from people you do know but don’t like, says career coach Corinne Mills. “Why would you want to accept an invitation from someone you can’t stand or connect to a horrible ex-boss who is now looking for a job?” You should, she says, connect with people you’re comfortable with or with whom have some sort of professional commonality.
From an etiquette point of view, many people think that ignoring requests looks rude, but actually LinkedIn is pretty good here. When you say no to an invitation, LinkedIn doesn’t inform the other person that you’ve turned them down, so to them it just looks as if you have forgotten to respond.
Moreover, should anyone become a nuisance, you can sever connections without much fear of causing offence as LinkedIn doesn’t notify people when you remove them as a connection.
There are other categories of potential connections you need to think about too. People who work for direct competitors are an interesting one. On one hand, linking with those who are, occupationally speaking, the opposition (or perhaps frenemies) shows a certain confidence – and may even bring you work opportunities. But on the other, if you post regularly and discuss ongoing work with contacts you may not want them to be too closely appraised with what you are doing.
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Ms Mills also cautions that people who connect with you may not be interested in you at all. “If you work in certain roles, people may be looking to connect just so they can see your connections and try and poach your clients.” Some of this can be mitigated by higher privacy settings, although too much privacy will compromise the usefulness of LinkedIn.
Finally, as “Stunninggate” has shown us, if you are going to send a message to a stranger (or near-stranger) you’ve connected with, it’s worth pausing to remind yourself that you have never met this person. One of the things that social networks do very well is create the feeling that you sort-of know people when in fact you know nothing about them.
If you meet someone in real life, you’d probably be introduced by a mutual acquaintance, you’d have all the non-verbal signals they’d give off and you’d have the social situation. All of these would probably act to prevent you from telling the professional woman you’d just met that she was stunning.
Source: Rhymer Rigby/Thinking Man/ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/  Photo: ALAMY  via www.telegraph.co.uk Follow  @sinach360 & @daily_trust