How flamboyant Kanuri weddings transform women, families

Kanuri marriages are known for their flamboyance and show of pride. But with changing times, new practices are being introduced that purist fear are tainting centuries-old traditions. Daily Trust on Sunday follows the transformational stages of the Kanuri woman to capture how Kanuri marriages are arranged and what each stage means for the woman.   […]

Kanuri marriages are known for their flamboyance and show of pride. But with changing times, new practices are being introduced that purist fear are tainting centuries-old traditions. Daily Trust on Sunday follows the transformational stages of the Kanuri woman to capture how Kanuri marriages are arranged and what each stage means for the woman.

 

For over 1,000 years millions of Kanuri speaking people in Nigeria’s Lake Chad region, spreading into Borno and Yobe states, and other parts of the old Kanem Bornu empire have built an incredible cultural heritage.

This heritage is often brought to the fore in very colourful fashion especially during marriages. And even the changing times have had little impact on this cultures that are strongly adhered to amongst the Kanuri people.

For instance, intending grooms are expected to pay bride prices in gold coins. This is something the Kanuris have held sacrosanct in the centuries that have passed and even up till this day. However, growing populations and a scarcity of these gold coins has forced a compromise where in certain instances the naira equivalent of the coins is accepted.

At the palace of the custodian of the Kanuri heritage, the Shehu of Borno, the Ya-Morom of Borno, Ajja Mali, discussed these rites and how things have changed over time.

Recalling the olden days, she said at that time only elders could search for suitors for their daughters and initiate the traditional process that led to a successful wedding, and both the bride and groom would have no choice but to obey their parents.

“That was why all the marriages then were full of blessings,” she said, urging young Kanuri women to abide by the traditions so they could be blessed with a happy marital life that produces righteous and blessed progeny.

For the elders, she advised them to continue inculcating into young ones, the norms and values of their forefathers, stressing that parents should not allow their daughters to be married off without full knowledge of how to cook variety of kanuri dishes, and if such happens, the pride is lost. “Because, we Kanuris are well known for making a variety of dishes, all of which are delicious,” she said.

While some of the traditions may have been compromised by time, some are not likely to change in a hurry.

“Islamically, and according to Kanuri tradition, without dowry the marriage is invalid,” the Borno Elders Forum (BEF)’s Secretary, Dr. Bulama Mali Gubio, said.

According to him, even the advent of social media constituting the main platform where girls and boys conduct courtship mostly culminating in marriage, has not in any way adversely affected Kanuri culture and traditions of contracting marriages.

The marriage process

The Kanuris are infamous for having very lean vocabulary about love but Dr. Gubio says love is the starting point of Kanuri marriages.

“Yes, Love! Surprised?” Dr Gubio said, pronouncing the Kanuri word as ‘rawo’ (the process of falling in love). Other aspect of the courting may include ‘Askil’ (traditional dance between young people where girls clap and boys dance vigorously to show their physical fitness); ‘Nguwa’ (traditional wrestling to display physical prowess), ‘Kadi’ (tracing of the footsteps of thieves to retrieve stolen items, and that is an indication of a young man’s capability to defend his family), ‘Surwa’ (collective free labour to help members build houses and cultivate farmlands), ‘Ngumuri’ (Sallah festivities); ‘Sawaram’ (coming together of the bride’s and groom’s friends to engage in ceremonial performances), ‘Zuwu’ (Qur’anic school graduation ceremony) and ‘Kasuwu’ (weekly market days to impress the family of a chosen loved one).

He explained that ‘Ra’aki’, which is the act of being in love, follows next. This is a stage where a delegation is dispatched by the boy’s parents to the girl’s with betrothal gifts comprising clothes, cosmetics and many other items. This process is called ‘Gawo’ meaning, formal presentation of the boy to the girl and leads to ‘Kworo’ where the formal consent of the girl is sought.

At this stage, a delegation of dignitaries comprising men and women visit the girl’s family, who, traditionally, are expected to receive the visitors.

Now, the girl’s parents present some confectionaries to dignitaries as a token of appreciation for the gifts presented to them. This process is called ‘Kworo’ which literally means to ask, and the girl’s acceptance or refusal is signaled through expression of smiles, happiness, sadness or denial.

Next is ‘Sarte’. At this stage the wedding date is fixed. The date is agreed upon after deliberations by the two parties. This implies that the chosen suitor is without rival in the marriage arrangement, the refund of gifts previously received from other suitors and confirmation of medical history of the two families, which Dr. Gubio referred to as a modern trend. Afterwards, the amount of ‘Sadawu’ (dowry) is agreed upon to complete the process.

He said expected rites in Kanuri traditional marriages are very simple and in line with Islamic injunctions.  They include expression of mutual love by the boy and the girl, respect for the ‘waliyyi’ (the giver), who could be her father or guardian, observance of ‘Sadawu’ which is the dowry, ‘Sigga’ (the act of asking and acceptance between the family of the bride and groom and their witnesses).

In the past, he said, the minimum amount payable as dowry in Kanuri marriage is a quarter of a ‘Dinar’ (a pure gold coin). So if a ‘Dinar’ costs N10, 000, the dowry will be about N2,500, which could be said to be cheap. But Daily Trust on Sunday observes that this practice sharply contrast with what obtains now when dowry for most marriages has become exorbitant, and as much as N200,000 is paid as dowry.

The betrothal gifts presented to the bride-to-be’s family by the groom-to-be’s family include so many gift items for the bride’s mother, aunt(s), uncle(s), sister(s), grandfather(s) and mother(s).

After the wedding, when the bride finally leaves for the groom’s house, which is her life-long matrimonial home,  things like ‘Kaulu’ which is the washing of hands and feet with palm oil and milk, washing of her hair, and her conveyance to the groom’s house in a car, will all be paid for by the groom’s friends.

“All these aim at showing the value and love for the bride and to exploit her blessings,” he said. “Traditionally, the success of her marriage is believed to be largely dependent on the quantum of blessings realised from these activities.”

The ‘Wuskru’ which is also called ‘Walimah’, takes place a day after the wedding. On this day, dishes are prepared and dignitaries, friends and well-wishers are invited to the newlyweds’ home to dine.

The traditional singing and dancing to entertain visitors at the wedding ceremony starts on the eve of the wedding day and continue to the end of the ceremony.

This age-old tradition is still observed in the rural areas in Kanuri-speaking climes. However, Dr. Gubio lamented, a greater population now live in the urban centres, where so many innovations like cutting of wedding cake, wearing of wedding gowns at luncheons, while the bride and the groom dance to music adorned in gorgeous dresses are becoming the norm.

Modernization of social practices has introduced new trends of wedding ceremonies in marked deviation from the traditional Kanuri marriage rites. These new trends are brought about by the dynamics of urbanisation, the emerging need to avoid the expensive nature of the traditional rites and the influence of western education.

Daily Trust on Sunday observes that in urban centres like Maiduguri, one can hardly distinguish between the modern and the traditional wedding practices. Alien cultures have taken prominence over the Kanuri culture, which if strictly observed is very beautiful, but unfortunately, very costly. This is presumably why people are shying away from the traditional practices.

Dr. Gubio enumerated the reasons and values derivable from observing the traditional rites in Kanuri marriage.

“We marry to enhance our race, sustain mental peace, love and affection and promote unity among extended families, because our culture abhors immorality, especially among the female. And all these aim at fulfilling Islamic obligations of keeping faith and sustaining legal family system towards ensuring chastity and promoting moral excellence,” he said.

He said it is a source of pride in Kanuri traditional setting for a young man to marry a young virgin in her teens. But this form of marriage is very expensive, and most men cannot afford it as a first marriage when they are themselves usually in their late teens to mid-twenties. Marrying a divorcee costs far less, while marriage between cousins reduces the required bride-price.

He emphasized that it is unthinkable in the Kanuri tradition and culture for the bride to appear in public, explaining that she should never be seen in public from the day her marriage is fixed. Only her friends should be accessible to her for a whole year until the traditional marriage rites and ceremonies are concluded.

After she has been taken to her matrimonial home, she should not even visit her family members until she is transformed from childhood to womanhood, after which she could go and rejoice with her family and stay for one week. This is called ‘fato kuru’. Her family should then celebrate her one year of successful marriage especially if she is lucky with a pregnancy or baby.

Dr. Gubio offered more knowledge on the status in Kanuri culture and tradition. He classified the phases of female growth, saying that a girl at birth is called ‘Fatu’ and is transformed into womanhood through stages. After her naming ceremony, she is addressed as ‘Tiwal’ and between the ages of three-four (3-4), she is renamed ‘Kurkumi’, where she realizes her gender and begins to know her worth by covering up her nakedness.

“At the age between seven and eight (7 & 8), she is called ‘Njoima’ and her hair is divided into three parts of small patches of undeveloped hair: one in front, one at the middle and the other at the back. Even if her hair is fully developed, it should be trimmed to guard against public attention. Between the ages of 10 and 12, she is now called ‘Klayasku’. Her hair should be allowed to grow in full, maintaining the three divisions.

“Thereon, she is ready for marriage. Traditionally, parents should never allow a girl child to grow beyond 14 years without marriage because it is a mark of shame or lack of good fortune to allow her experience her first menstrual period in her parent’s house,” he said, adding, “So, parents hasten before she attains the age of 15 so that she can shed her first blood as a virgin on her husband’s bed. When she gets married, she will stay in the husband’s house for one year. Afterward, the process of transforming her hair to a woman called ‘Gotto’ takes place.

“But nowadays, right from the time they attend nursery or primary schools, they plait their hair as if they are grown up women, in line with foreign cultures,” Dr. Gubio lamented, saying, “Presently, in urban centres, girls at marriage plait their hair as ‘Klayasku’, but it is defeatist and only a formality, because their hair has already been plaited on several occasions, a deviation from the Kanuri culture of transforming a girl through the six stages of womanhood.”

He then arrives at the last phases of womanhood in Kanuri tradition. After marriage, he said, the woman becomes ‘Ngumsuri.’ That is, someone who has been disvirgined by her husband and develops into ‘Amida’, a young lady. Thereon, she becomes ‘Kalekale’, a coinage from a bird who is regarded as having seen it all by visiting every tree.

Now a fearless woman, “She metamorphoses into a woman – ‘Kamu’, she then becomes ‘Dapchi’ – a woman that has mastered the art of communication and association between male and female gender and graduates to ‘Gudum’ – a well-trained woman who knows all the arts of womanhood – child bearing/rearing, men caring and situation management.

“Thereon, she becomes ‘Njita’ – pepper, at the age of 45-50, and becomes a woman who now assumes authority, talking with audacity without any form of fear. Finally, she becomes ‘Kumurso’ – an old woman and transcends to ‘Awulumdu’, like a child, now retracing the stages of transformation in Kanuri women,” Dr. Gubio concluded.