How has being a mother changed you?

Being a parent introduces a lot of changes into one’s life. Being a parent does not come with a manual, but naturally we adjust to become the best parents we can be to our children. Being single is a different dimension which automatically changes when we get married, and even more so when we become […]

Being a parent introduces a lot of changes into one’s life. Being a parent does not come with a manual, but naturally we adjust to become the best parents we can be to our children.
Being single is a different dimension which automatically changes when we get married, and even more so when we become parents. Parenthood brings with it both positive and negative changes.
Negative in some of these cases will mean change in physical and sometimes emotional make-up.
It is not strange to hear husbands complaining that their wives have had emotional changes since they became mothers. “My wife easily has these recurrent tantrums and becomes easily irritated with any little mistake. She was never like this before she became a mother. She was the most loving person I could think of, but these days she is the iron lady everyone is afraid to talk to. I understand that mothering comes with a lot of challenges and because of that I have learnt to tolerate her the way she is, at least it is just for a few months and everything will be back to normal. This is not to say she is a sweet and caring mum to her children, I just think the stress makes her snap at every little thing but nothing compares to her children,” says Mr. James Dickson, adding that parenthood changes everyone either in a positive or negative way, though most times it is positive.
Women also gave their opinions on what changes being mothers made in their lives. Mrs. Joy Ani says everything in life is all about change but when it comes to being a mother it is a different kind of change: “Before now I used to be irrational in thinking and really damned the consequences my actions might or could bring.  But since I became a mother, it has been a different ball game; it has made me to be selfless. Now, before I do anything I first think about my children and how it will affect them.  In the past it was all about me and me alone, everything was all about me but in reality it is never only about me anymore. It has also made me stronger, I used to be so afraid especially when someone was sick, now I need to hide my fears because many people look up to me for support and yes, I would say I love and cherish the changes being a mother has brought in my life; I will never trade it for anything in the world.”
For other mums, asides giving them the excitement of being a parent it has also given them a chance to always give room for second chances. Mrs Bennie Bwalya says: “It has taught me patience and always gives a second chance at everything in life. It has also taught me never to look down on anyone or anything in this world. If you are a mother, you would understand what I am talking about. Being a mother brings a whole lot of changes, you cannot afford to be who you used to be before you become a mother. They are just two different worlds.”
For the likes of Funsho Olabisi, the changes motherhood has brought them sometimes make them speechless: “The changes being a mother gives me are lovely changes that I can’t even explain. I learned to be very patient and to be very prayerful. You cannot have a child or children and not afford to be prayerful, not for you but for your children.  It has also taught me to live life as simple as it comes. Motherhood is a great thing you cannot trade for anyone, the physical changes might not be too positive but the emotional changes are experiences that can’t be told explicitly.”
 Blessing Uzuegbu says with a smile: “It has totally changed every aspect of my life. I’m not happy with some of the changes anyway, like being free to move out, having privacy with my hubby except at night.  But I am happy with the rest of the changes when it comes to my children. As for privacy with my husband, it is all a matter of time and when we desperately need to be alone, we can always send them off to their grandparents.”
As they say, becoming a parent entails hard-work; this might have paid off for Mrs. Joy Ekene Michael who notes that: “It has made me hard-working, fearlessly prayerful and courageous. Being a mother has made me more protective and ambitious. Ambitious not for myself but for my kids; living up to my responsibilities of being a good role model to them so that they can be among the best of the very best in the society.”
Mary Adeyinka remarks that: “Being a parent made me to be more prayerful and be more responsible. I have learnt that I have more people to take care of and it’s just not about me anymore. It has also taught me to become a better manager, before now I used to spend without thinking but now it is a different thing. Above all, it has made me a real woman. A real woman takes care of herself, her family and her job. I have been able to joggle all these without allowing anyone suffer, especially not my children. Motherhood is such a great experience that it has transformed me in all aspects of my life.”
Esther Michael, a mother of four says being a parent has made her an unlicensed security official: “Motherhood has made me a watchdog and gatekeeper which makes me an unlicensed security officer. I am always mindful of everything around me, checking on my baby either when he’s asleep or up jumping about just to make sure he’s safe and also keeping an eye on virtually everything as long as it concerns him. Motherhood has also taught me to be patient and careful in all aspects, I would not want to take chances in being careless when it comes to issues that affect my child.”
For Halima Hassan, motherhood has given her a different perspective on how she viewed women, including herself: “It has changed the little respect I had for myself to a much bigger one and even for other women. It has taught me that women can be strong no matter what, especially when it has to do with their children, they would sacrifice all for the benefit of the children. I have also learnt to love and show more kindness to children around me. Children were always sort of a no go area for me until I had mine. I am very happy about the change. It has made me more compassionate holistically.”
Being a mother or a parent makes one more focused in life and also motivates one to work extra hard so that the child can be given the necessary if not the best things of life. So many great changes are bound to happen when you become a parent even though its time demanding. Best of all, it makes you more responsible when you realise that you have people looking up to you in all aspects of their lives.