How important is parental upbringing?

It  is baffling when minors appear before Chief Magistrate Courts over issues bothering on juvenile delinquency. Sadly this has become recurrent at Chief Magistrate Courts in Ilorin, Kwara State. Recently some children were brought before the court in Ilorin. The children between the ages of 15 and 18 were presented before the court over various  acts […]

It  is baffling when minors appear before Chief Magistrate Courts over issues bothering on juvenile delinquency. Sadly this has become recurrent at Chief Magistrate Courts in Ilorin, Kwara State.
 Recently some children were brought before the court in Ilorin. The children between the ages of 15 and 18 were presented before the court over various  acts which include; truancy in school, being in company of bad gangs, stealing, smoking cigarette and Indian hemp, disobedience, sleeping in dangerous places outside their parents residence and so on.
The parents through the Ministry of Social Development, Culture and Tourism Ilorin, requested the High Court of Justice to legally investigate and approve the ministry’s recommendations.
Their wish for their children  was – if found guilty in accordance with the law, they should go and spend some years of commitment at Borstal Training Institute, Ganmo, Kwara State for adjustment, nurturing and proper training through learning of trades of their choice and completion of their studies.
The letter from the ministry to the court that contained the names of the children, their parents and the kind of misbehavior they engage in, was read to each child and respective parents for hearing and attestation.
After hearing however, the parents were asked to confirm the authenticity of the allegations leveled against their children which they answered in the affirmative. Each parent confirmed to the court that the acts by their children was true and that they are beyond their control.
Legally as the parents confirmed the allegations, the children were found guilty. And then after the court gathered the necessary facts needed, the magistrate in charge, Magistrate S.B. Olanipekun approved the recommendations by the Ministry and three of the seven children bagged two years each and the remaining four were given three years each to stay at the institution for reformation purposes.
Meanwhile, the reformation at the institution was based on conditions that, the parents will only visit their children to provide them with needs, as the children will not be allowed to go anywhere until they complete the stipulated years of services at the institution.
 While some parents their best to give their children good upbringing, some children are just too stubborn.
Dr. (Mrs) Omoleyin, founder of motherless babies home, Ilorin in her counsel to parents said the first step for mothers is to ensure that the child’s fate and destiny is well protected.
She said, “Every mother needs to have it at the back of her mind that children are not only gifts from God but also test for any parent that receive them. Once the mother gets pregnant, she is expected to pray for the unborn child to posses all good qualities that will make him or her a good ambassador of the family and the country at large.
“Moreover, it is very important for parents to be vigilant, suspicious, careful, observant and sensitive about how their children are going to live well because some parents raise their children weakly, and they eventually end up achieving nothing; the children would be disgracing them everywhere and they cannot boldly say ‘he is my son or she is my daughter”, she said.
She advised parents to agree on the method and practices they will use in raising their children.  “There is difference between watch, see and oversee, it is when you watch with keen observation and peaceful mind that you will notice some hidden things in your child. Parents have to observe with the belief that the child is going to be worthy through prayer. The Destiny of a child is paramount for mothers in particular to take serious cognizance of,” she said.
Omoleyin said it is only when you train your child well with prayer that you will eventually reap what you sow on each child adding, “Above all, lead your child to the right path and his destiny will come to reality in good faith. Love and discipline your child. Your love for your child should not be contingent on performance and as discipline is the reinforcement of instruction applied with love.”
She commended parents who presented their children to the relevant organisations  for proper training, saying  that if the parents of thugs, rapists, thieves, armed robbers, cultists and the rest rose up to their responsibilities on time, social ills would have reduced.
Similarly, a pediatrician and psycho- analyst, Donald Winni Cott described child upbringing as the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, financial and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.
He noted that, parenting as well denotes the act of child-rearing which vary in the skills used by each parent.
“The good enough parents especially mother starts off with an almost complete adaptation to her infant’s needs and as time proceeds, she adopt less and gradually as the child growing ability to deal with his or her failures.  Training a child means appropriate instruction according to the age of the child. Hence, it is paramount to train up a child in a way he should grow with good moral and when he is old, he will not depart from good moral”, he said.
The podiatrist therefore urged parents as the first teacher to the children to instill what is right in their children so as to be the foundation of their children’s good character, parents should teach their wards how to adhere strictly to good deeds and refrain from doing bad for fear of the consequences that follow.
Above all, parents should be good examples to their children, counsel and give them encouragement, be conversant with how their children’s attitude and outlooks change according to their age and environments – because as the children grow up, the trends follow them and are integrated in their natural habits.