How irrational are your expectations?

These thoughts could be regarded as irrational, as most times, they are borne out of our being unrealistic. When things don’t go as we expect, we tend to get really upset, moody and overbearing for no just cause. Going through everyday life and our expectations of others toward one, it is easy to identity irrational […]

These thoughts could be regarded as irrational, as most times, they are borne out of our being unrealistic. When things don’t go as we expect, we tend to get really upset, moody and overbearing for no just cause. Going through everyday life and our expectations of others toward one, it is easy to identity irrational thoughts and ideas which are likely to upset us when we don’t see them in the people around us.

Although these ideas are usually false, many of us have a tendency to possess or exhibit one or two of them from time to time. A major handicap for most people is the fact that we expect to be in everybody’s good books and to have them approve of us. Whether or not you consider a person to be special to you does not mean he/she should regard you in the same measure.

Sometimes, you can’t afford not to make enemies and there are people out there who naturally would have ill-feelings toward you for no just cause. But you should not subject yourself to trying to change them or correct their impressions of you. You will only end up miserable. Many of us are people-pleasers even in spite of ourselves. We insist on being faultless in order for us to be found worthy. The truth is that nobody can be perfect or faultless in all aspects of life.

It is therefore wrong and unfair to yourself if you expect to be seen as Mr or Miss Perfect. If you are living your life on such a notion, you are heading for disaster and a bout of unhappiness and disappointments. It is not abnormal or out of place for you to be rejected or frustrated, but it is okay for you to feel terrible about it and try to prevent it from recurring if you do so with a level head.

Worrying about what the next person thinks of you is another great element when people begin to get irrational with thoughts of themselves. It is like a vicious cycle and they are always looking for the next thing to worry about once one issue is sorted out. Always remember that you should not define yourself by the standard someone else has set for you, but by standards you consider healthy and a positive force to your life.

Also, when you judge yourself by other people’s rules, it imprisons and hampers you. You are not likely to see the better part of you. We sometimes have the notion that when people are nasty to us, it is because they are bad people. We sulk and sometimes fail to realise that the world is a combination of all sorts and it is not a right that you have before any individual to be treated as you expect. Rather than groan and moan about what they have done, learn from such experiences, no matter how painful they are because these are the bases upon which you’ll learn and grow.

To prevent these worrisome issues from even arising, it is best to avoid unnecessary difficulties and tasks in life, where possible. You don’t have to take on any extra responsibilities or burdens in an effort to be recognised as being good or helpful. In our efforts to be people-pleasers, it seems we sell or give ourselves away in a way that other people and issues control our lives without our knowing it. If this is the reality of your situation, it doesn’t have to continue in that stride.

Don’t hang on to other people or issues and let them determine how you can live your life. You’ll only make yourself a prisoner. Open yourself to changes and new ways of managing yourself and affairs.  Don’t linger on what ‘used to be’ or ‘how it used to be done.’ Start on a new note and begin to make changes that’ll move you in more positive directions.

When we plan or are anxious about certain things, we most often than not expect that they will go in a particular direction as we have planned or something close to that. It could be devastating sometimes and pretty hard on you depending on the matter in question. You have to come to terms with the fact that in as much as you plan, you really cannot predict how things will turn out.

Tell yourself and believe you can be happy. You can be happy letting yourself go and just having fun doing those things that make you laugh and relax as you take life in its strides. But in doing that, seek new challenges which will impact positively on you and help you grow.