How long do teary eyes really work?

It’s not news that some women wet their eyes to get their partners’attention when a misunderstanding ensues, but the question is do these teary eyes really work? “How can I stop or drastically reduce regular tears that have become part of my wife’s lifestyle? She is caring, loving and the perfect mother and wife but […]

It’s not news that some women wet their eyes to get their partners’attention when a misunderstanding ensues, but the question is do these teary eyes really work?
“How can I stop or drastically reduce regular tears that have become part of my wife’s lifestyle? She is caring, loving and the perfect mother and wife but there is a big issue that is giving me great concern. She hates to be rebuked. She always has excuses to justify whatever she is being rebuked for, which always ends with tears and emotional blackmail. I am really not buying into the tear game anymore. Does that make me wicked?” What do you think of this gentleman’s dilemma?
Amaka Martins, a 35-year-old accountant says crying is the only way that women can really relief their emotional stress: “I am like that. I love to cry when hurt, some of us are too soft to handle some emotional stress. Please he should allow her cry as that may be the only way that she can get over the pain of being rebuked unnecessarily. Don’t forget, she is a woman and crying is part of us.”
Hassana Shehu, a 38-year-old teacher wonders how he rebukes her:  “Maybe he says hurtful things to her unconsciously and that hurts her.  He shouldn’t get tired of her. That’s the only way she can express herself. He should love her. Limit the things that make her cry; he shouldn’t ignore her at all. She is very sensitive. Crying is one of the ways for the body to release tension, express emotions. Say what is on your mind but not in a hurtful way.”
Forty-year-old Blessing Ogunlade, a nurse, speaking out of experience, says: “I am using myself to give advice. Growing up, my parents believed so much in dialogue. As little as we were, my dad would sit you down and talk to us. I was never rebuked, so when I got married, it was so difficult for me to adjust. I always cried anytime my hubby rebuked me and I felt I married a man that hates me. My advice is dialogue. Instead of shouting at her, talk with her not immediately but later maybe when you’ve retired for the day. My marriage is almost 10 years now and I can tell you that this worked for us.”
Amos Benajmin, a36-year-old computer engineer, says ladies always use their tears as an emotional weapon and he stopped falling for it a long time ago: “She is using the tears as a weapon. She is an adult and a mother so she needs to start taking responsibility for her actions instead of using the tears angle. Of course as men we have every right to express our anger. Just watch her till she is done crying, once she knows it’s no longer working on you, she’ll quit and start being an adult.”
Amina Ibrahim,a 37-year-old mother of three, gave up the tear game when it stopped working for her a long time ago: “I’m guilty of this but had to stop when it stopped working on my husband. Now I talk when I feel bad and it is working. Then, even if I should cry seven days straight non-stop, he never bothered but went ahead with his business as usual. Trust me ladies, it will only work for some time, so if you must, utilise it well before the time expires”
Marriage counsellor Hajiya Maryam Abdullahi says: “To be honest as a true lover, you must be soft with your mate, pamper and cuddle her when she cries. Yes, women are complicated but they are weak, so they ought to be treated gently. She won’t cry if you rebuke her with love. She cries because you rebuke her like disrespect.”
She adds that: “I trust my hubby,I was always crying after my marriage because of harsh ways of correcting me, he wasn’t even moved at all, then I developed very thick skin, I will never cry in his presence but still go to my room once in a while to cry.Some women are just too emotional and fragile, please don’t correct her when you are angry or in public, learn to correct her with love.
“Being rebuked by a husband in a rude or insensitive manner sometimes makes a woman feel belittled, especially when it’s in front of people. A lot of times, women feel they should constantly be appreciated for all the sacrifices we make and our wrong doings overlooked. Correct her in a joking manner, tease her about it and trust me she would get the message.”
She stresses that: “Women on their part should learn and understand that being teary eyed never works for long. It’s been one emotional game that has been long overused and men get used to it pretty fast.”