How much importance is attached to virginity today?

A woman’s virginity used to be celebrated on the wedding night in many communities and it is a big disgrace if the newly wedded bride is discovered to have lost her virginity. Hence, the fear of losing it is the beginning of wisdom.

Maintaining virginity till marriage is also based on religious injunctions. Christianity and Islam teach women to remain virgins until they are married.

The Holy Bible for instance says in Hebrews Chapter 13 vs 4 that : “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”

How many women now wait till their wedding night? How many men are patient till that night?

Virginity is the central theme of a Nollywood movie titled: “The Narrow Path”.  In the movie, a young lady had lost her virginity as a result of rape. The discovery that she was not a virgin on her wedding night resulted to a communal clash between her relatives and her in- laws who had organised different activities to celebrate after the couple’s first mating. They said the bride’s village had given them a loose woman for a wife.

The lady in question had to intervene in the course of the war by requesting that her life be taken instead of shedding the blood of innocent people. The healing process began when her words arrested their weapons of war and peace reigned ever after as the groom took his wife not minding her status.

Mr. Joseph Femi, a student said the society we live in now does not place any priority on virginity but instead they see those that uphold that value as old fashioned or rather primitive.

“Ask at least 10 ladies today and you will hardly get anyone that is a virgin among them because the society has made it a thing of shame and an old culture. However, irrespective of what friends and society is saying, it is still valuable,” he said.

He said keeping it is a factor of fighting your inner mind. “I will celebrate any lady that is still a virgin as it was done in the old times rather than condemning her,” he added.

Pastor Chukwudi Francis, a pastor in one of the Pentecostal Churches in Abuja said there are three serious reasons to save sex for marriage.

“Firstly, as believers we have to obey what God tells us to do according to 1 Corinthians 6 vs. 18-20 which states, ‘Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies.’ If we are in Christ, we have allowed Him to purchase us with the sacrifice of His blood. In exchange for eternal life, we are to trust that He knows what is best for us, and obey Him,” he explained.

He said keeping one’s virginity is not meant for women alone but also men because it is God’s will that we should be sanctified.

Pastor Francis said sex should be enjoyed in marriage and not to be experimented anyhow. “Allowing your body to control your actions is an act of defiance against God. Godly sex is giving. Using someone else to fulfill a desire of the flesh is selfish and abusive. Even if the partner is willing, you are still helping them to sin and negatively altering their relationship with God and others.”

Malam Yunus Ibrahim, a member of Nasrul-Lahi-Fatih Society (NASFAT) Zaria said sex is only allowed in Islam after marriage adding that any sex outside marriage is illegal and haram (forbidden). Quoting from the Quran, “And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Faahishah (great sin) and an evil way.” Surah  Al-Israa Q17:32. He said there are other verses in the holy Qur’an that condemn zinaa (sex outside wedlock).

Malam Ibrahim said Imaam Al-Qurtum said Islamic scholars agree that the phrase ‘and come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse is more eloquent than do not commit zinaa.’ This means that do not do any deed that may get close to zinaa or lead to it, such as being alone with the opposite sex, touching, looking, going to evil places or speaking in forbidden manner to a woman to whom one is not related, thinking about and planning immoral acts and so on.

He said that is why the religion advised every woman to lower her gaze from looking at forbidden things and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornment except that which is apparent.

What about medical science and virginity tests?

Medical facts reveal that virginity can be lost through other means apart from sexual intercourse. According to Dr Mahindra Vatsa, a gynecologist and sex counselor, the mentality behind it is largely because our traditional values are still strongly embedded in us. “One of the most common questions I get, till date, is ‘How do I know that my bride or girlfriend is a virgin?’ The only answer that I have to such questions is that there is no way to know.

“However, I still get men who complain to me saying that the wife did not bleed on the first night and hence, they suspect that she’s not a virgin. The truth is that the presence of the hymen which ruptures (resulting in the bleeding) is not a sure shot sign of virginity. Some women are born without it, there are those for whom it is so elastic that it never ruptures while for some it is so fragile that a slightly intense activity may have ruptured it without them even realizing it.”

A sexologist, Dr. Rajang Bhonsle said that it is just not possible to access whether a girl is a virgin or not by just examining her except if she’s been through a pregnancy or if she admits to having sexual intercourse.

“A woman’s hymen can be ruptured by non-sexual activities like intense sports, dancing, sitting astride on two wheelers, etc. It is not necessary for a virgin to bleed the first time she has sex. In fact, if one goes by the statistics, only 42 per cent of women do so,” he said

In December last year, the principal of one of the private secondary schools in Ogun State, Mrs. Olufunke Aladeojebi incurred the wrath of the parents of her students when she forcefully carried out virginity test on some female students of the school. Her action generated lots of public debate that led to setting up a panel to investigate the matter.

Though saddled with the responsibility of taking care of the students both in academic and moral value, the question on the lips of Nigerians is why she carried out such test without permission from the parents.

Mrs. Aladejobi’s mental well-being was doubted as the officials of the state Ministry of Health believed she might require a psychiatric test to determine her state of mind after the panel has looked into the case and recommends what needs to be done.