How pre-wedding pictures can affect marriages

Though the pictures are normally taken before the solemnisation of the wedding, would-be couples tend to overstep their ‘moral bounds’  in the process. The level of closeness between the man and the lady while taking pre-wedding pictures and the kind of attires used for such shots are giving parents and religious leaders cause for concern.Unlike […]

Though the pictures are normally taken before the solemnisation of the wedding, would-be couples tend to overstep their ‘moral bounds’  in the process. The level of closeness between the man and the lady while taking pre-wedding pictures and the kind of attires used for such shots are giving parents and religious leaders cause for concern.
Unlike in the past when separate pictures of the would-be-couples are joined together and a poster is then produced to congratulate them on their wedding day, now it is the pictures taken without any barrier and after that it is circulated in the social media despite its obscenity.
What is even more worrisome as observed by some women is the way parents are allowing their daughters to take such pictures before the wedding and even allowing such obscene pictures to be circulated among friends and relatives.
A woman that had such experience at a wedding she attended said it was the mother of the bride that was giving out the pictures of her semi-naked daughter sitting on the lap of the man before the formalization of the marriage to women that went for the traditional sitting (yini).
“What baffled most of us was the fact that it was the mother of the bride that was showing the pre-wedding pictures to us despite the obscene nature of the picture. For a Muslim lady to pose for such pictures with the man she is yet to be his legal wife is shameful and unacceptable. You need to see the pictures, so obscene for a Hausa/Fulani couples. It is him on her lap, she on his lap with a mini-skirt, them hugging each other, kissing and many more obscene postures. They are doing all these because according to them this is what is trendy,” said Sumayya I. Usman.
She said the picture elicited condemnation most especially when it was the mother that was showing the pictures to the women gathered there.
Sumayya blamed the parents for allowing their daughters to go for such pictures, saying allowing such obscenity to be happening in the society would not augur well for the people. “I can’t imagine how a mother would take pleasure in showing the pictures of her daughter on the lap of a man with a semi-naked dress, even if the marriage is formalized, not to talk of the marriage not even formalized. This is shameful and outright abuse of our culture,” she said
The trend has become so wide spread that couples from other states in the north come to a particular studio in Kano renowned for taking these kinds of obscene pictures to take their own. What is even more disturbing is the way these pictures are made to circulate in our social media and during ceremonial sittings.
“I have seen a guy that came from one of the states in the north and the lady he is intending to marry also from another state and they met in Kano purposely to take the pre-wedding pictures. It is now one of the pre-requisite of marriage among youths,” said Haruna Abdallah.
Commenting on the issue, the Kano State Hisbah Commander-General, Sheikh Aminu Ibrahim Daurawa said such pictures are capable of destroying the marriage. “In the first place, they have removed blessings from their marriage because they are not supposed to have this closeness with each other before the formalization of the marriage which is done according to laid down rules of the Shari’a,” he said.
He added that such pictures could as well create suspicion among couples, saying one major problem that is leading to the termination of many marriages is suspicion, “When you don’t trust your partner, you will not have a blissful marital life. You will be thinking that since she had accepted to take obscene pictures with you even before she is legally married to you, there is every tendency that she might have been used to such kind of life before. And from the moment this kind of mistrust gets in among couples, the stability of the marriage is at stake.”
The scholar further observed that apart from the religious implications, such pictures could as well affect the temporal life of a person, saying sometimes such pictures could be used against a person when he is contesting for a position in the future.
 “It may affect him in the future and his regrets may be useless then. People may use it against him when he is looking for a position and he may not get a defence,” he said.
He advised intending couples to exercise patience and restrain up till when the marriage would be finally tied. “After the wedding solemnisation, you can do what you want with your partner provided you will not exceed the bounds set by the Shari’a; that is for you to avoid sodomy with your wife or making love to her while she is menstruating. Apart from this, the Shari’a allows you to do whatever you want with your partner,” he said.