How to control anger

However, this response can become unhealthy especially when it grows to a full blown rage. That is aside mere making loud sounds, baring teeth, staring or adopting certain posture as a way of warning the perceived aggressor to stop certain behaviour.This unhealthy kind of response can become destructive; it can direct our judgment and thinking […]

However, this response can become unhealthy especially when it grows to a full blown rage. That is aside mere making loud sounds, baring teeth, staring or adopting certain posture as a way of warning the perceived aggressor to stop certain behaviour.
This unhealthy kind of response can become destructive; it can direct our judgment and thinking and may make us do and say unreasonable and irrational things that can lead to serious problems at work and in personal relationships , thereby undermining our individual overall quality of life.
Thus, no matter our response when angry and no matter what pushes our ‘buttons’, one thing is certain-you’re sure to get angry sometimes, everybody does. It is a normal emotion and there is nothing wrong with feeling mad, what is wrong however, is how we handle this madness when we feel angered.
According to a psychologist in the Department of General Studies, Federal Polytechnic , Bida, Mrs Patience  Adogwu ,  flushing anger is subject to an individual’s  decision to change.
She said the decision of controlling one’s anger rather than letting it control one is a personal decision to change,  adding that everyone can change how they react to feelings that makes them angry but only when they want to.
 “if you want to make a big change on how you are handling your anger, you have to think about what you’ll gain from such change. Is it self respect, more respect from others, a more relaxed approach to life, less time feeling annoyed and frustrated or a peaceful and accommodating approach to life generally? When these questions are properly considered there will definitely be a shift into a better mood”, She said.
She further revealed that anger has a connection with feelings and the ability to notice what you’re feeling and thinking and why, will help one in reducing responses to such feelings.
Adogwu said unlike little kids who are not aware of what they feel, adults have the mental ability to be self-aware and to apply self control.
She said: “When you get angry, take a moment to notice what you’re feeling and thinking before you act, this puts some precious minutes between feeling a strong emotion and taking an action that will always make you to regret.”
She adds that  consistent self-awareness and self-control will allow one to have more choices about how to act when you’re feeling an intense emotion like anger.
Adogwu also advised  that turning away from what makes you angry can greatly aid in controlling one’s anger and when you are aware that political argument makes you angry, it is always best not to engage in it.
She revealed that engaging in physical exercise, or taking a walk or even going for a brisk walk is a nice way to work off anger because physical activity produces brain chemicals that can make a person feel better.
Creating a distraction is another way of controlling temper, according to her. “If you find yourself raging about something or somebody is posing as an aggressor and you just can’t seem to let go, it helps to do something that will get your mind past what’s bugging you- you can watch TV, read books, go to the movies, or even sleep,” she said.
Anger can also be managed by talking to someone else about our emotions that is stewing us. Adogwu acknowledged that though anger is a very powerful emotion and managing it is sometimes very challenging, it is important that we exercise more patience, commitment, self awareness and self control in flushing this menace no matter how difficult it may seem, so as to avoid unnecessary regret afterwards.
“Because for most people who have troubles harnessing a hot temper, reacting wild to issues like yelling and screaming, or saying hurtful, mean, disrespectful things or punching walls, hitting someone or oneself or pushing and shove others around always feel ashamed by that behaviour and don’t think it reflects the real them because that is never what they wanted,” She stressed.
Ugochukwu writes from Federal Polytechnic Bida.