How to deal with loneliness

Loneliness, in simple terms, could be defined as sadness due to lack of company. It is actually a state of mind, as it causes sufferers to feel alone and even unwanted, which in most cases has negative impact, leading to isolation and depression. People who are lonely often want human contact, but their state of […]

Loneliness, in simple terms, could be defined as sadness due to lack of company. It is actually a state of mind, as it causes sufferers to feel alone and even unwanted, which in most cases has negative impact, leading to isolation and depression. People who are lonely often want human contact, but their state of mind makes it more difficult to form connections with others.
According to some experts, loneliness could be caused by several variables and each individual has different ways of dealing with it. How would you deal with loneliness? The following respondents gave their views.
Dr. Shereen Abdullah, a psychologist in her late 30s, says according to research, loneliness is strongly connected to genetics. She added that other contributing factors include situational variables, such as physical isolation, moving to a new location, death and divorce.
“Loneliness is a passive state since it is maintained by our passively letting it continue and doing nothing to change it. We often hope it will go away eventually, and we do nothing but let it envelop us. Strangely, there are times when we might even embrace the feeling. Yet, embracing loneliness and sinking down into the feelings associated with it usually leads to a sense of depression and helplessness, which, in turn, leads to an even more passive state and more depression,” she explained.
Abdullah states that people who are usually suffering from loneliness need to become more active in order to find ways to change their feelings of loneliness. She said, “Firstly, to stop feeling lonely, one must recognize the lonely feeling and thus accept that he or she is feeling lonely. Sometimes admitting that to one’s self is difficult. Expressing our feelings might lead us to discover that we feel a number of things, which might be connected to our feelings of loneliness, like sadness, anger, and frustration. We might be able to begin to see where these feelings are coming from and how they are connected to our lives. As we begin to see the connections, we will be able to begin to make changes.”
Muneer Haruna, 30, is an engineer who thinks loneliness is something people inflict on themselves thinking it will solve their problems while in reality, it just complicates things even more. “Personally, I don’t see how someone would let loneliness take over his life and stop him from living a normal life,” he said. “I believe for one to overcome loneliness, that person has to surround himself by people all the time or at least get something doing in order not to have time to think negative thoughts.”
Cecilia Timothy, a student, holds the view that loneliness is something that can’t be avoided especially when one has lost someone dear. However, she said there are ways that loneliness can be dealt with even though sometimes, being lonely becomes necessary.
“Sometimes being alone helps because it gives one time to ponder on things and also realize mistakes made before and also how to correct them in future,” she said. She further cited the example of her sister who lost her husband, “She was really close to her husband because he was her best friend, when she lost him in a motor accident, she was devastated and since then she has become a loner. She wouldn’t be around people and when asked why she likes being alone, she says that is the only time she gets to think of her late husband. According to her, when she is alone she feels the presence of her husband.”
Timothy suggested that on several occasions she had asked her sister to indulge herself in something so that she would be occupied and have no time for loneliness. “I always try to encourage her to watch movies or series that will take off her mind from too much thinking but she wouldn’t listen. Honestly, I think attending gatherings, listening to music and getting involved in activities like sports help a lot in dealing with loneliness. The problem with my sister is that, she has failed to understand that loneliness won’t bring back her husband nor would it solve any of her problems. Rather it slowly kills her,” she added.