How to shut down a talkative ex

You and your boyfriend/girlfriend had a misunderstanding which resulted in a breakup. And few days later, he/she goes about saying all sorts of things about you on social media; to your friends and to anyone who cares to listen. It is a known fact that the social media is a powerful tool with many personal […]

You and your boyfriend/girlfriend had a misunderstanding which resulted in a breakup. And few days later, he/she goes about saying all sorts of things about you on social media; to your friends and to anyone who cares to listen. It is a known fact that the social media is a powerful tool with many personal advantages, which is why we use it, even in relationship matters. 

Building a good name/reputation is difficult and you do not want to see it tarnished by anyone because the effect it would have on you and your relationship with others could be precarious. However, whether your friends believe whatever your ex tells them about you or not, the damage would have been done and it could take a lot of time to restore your ‘good name’. If you find yourself in this situation, how would you handle it? In other words, how would you shut down a talkative ex?

An unmarried teacher Samson Sammy referred to his ex as his past. “She is my past. Since I have decided to leave her, what she thinks shouldn’t really matter. I am not answerable for whatever you do, because as a rule, ‘you really can’t keep everyone happy’. My happiness should be my priority. A broken heart (of your ex) usually takes time to heal and you really don’t have to be considerate about it, especially if you are with someone else.”

Sammy added, “Believe me, if you did the right thing, which is moving on with someone you really love, your friends will realize it sooner or later. Also, you need friends that would stay with you no matter what. People who are blind believers of whatever your ex says might not be perfect ‘friends’ for you. And if you have accepted your mistake, do not carry the burden of bearing a sin on your shoulders. Be happy with yourself.”

Another respondent, a teacher (who didn’t want his name mentioned), said “There’ll be no need to shut her down. It’s a sign she misses you badly and regrets breaking up. Let her enjoy”. When Lifextra asked “What if what she says are negative things? He responded “A guilt-free conscience fears no accusation, so there’s no cause for alarm.”

Emmanuel Nwusulor, a middle-aged medical doctor, opines that if his ex goes about spoiling his name, and he still had her contact, he would first of all call her on phone to let her know that he’s aware of her comments about him. “I will then warn her to desist from that forthwith. If she continues, I will know it’s deliberate; I will go further to invite her for talks and final warning. After the meeting and final warning, I will ignore her.”

Speaking to Lifextra, Ladi Aladee Ad’Ofikwu, an Abuja-based fashion designer said “I’m still great friends with all my exes, but if I had one who goes around telling people about me I’d just ignore him” while William Charles Oluwatoyin, married and based in Lokoja, took the same stance as Nwusulor about confronting her first and then he added “if the response is yes I did it, I would warn her to desist from spreading malicious news about me and if she persists, I may have to do a disclaimer notice and get the law involved.”