How to speak the language of love in hard times

Learning a new language is often difficult, especially for adults. Children, however, learn with ease because of their innocence and open minds. Love functions similarly. When the heart is pure, love and compassion become easier to express and to understand. Love has its own languages, and every one of us is called to speak them […]

Learning a new language is often difficult, especially for adults. Children, however, learn with ease because of their innocence and open minds. Love functions similarly. When the heart is pure, love and compassion become easier to express and to understand. Love has its own languages, and every one of us is called to speak them — whether in our families, marriages, friendships, workplaces or communities. Yet, in today’s Nigeria, the language of love is fading. Instead, our world is crowded with quarrels, complaints, bitterness and selfish pursuits. We see it in the way people treat one another, in the chaos of our public life, and even in the way we scroll past those in distress on social media. God loved the world deeply, yet humanity has consistently chosen wickedness. The challenge, therefore, is how we can relearn to speak love in a time of pain.

Speaking the language of love is not about sweet words alone; it is revealed in our attitudes and conduct. Everyone we meet “reads” us in one way or another — through our tone, our actions, and our willingness to show kindness.

Unfortunately, in a world dominated by greed, scandal and rising costs of living, many are too weighed down to pass on the message of love. Even our younger generations — Gen Z, born into an age of technology — risk losing the milk of human compassion by being glued to gadgets rather than people. Yet, no human being is fully independent or self-sufficient. Friendships, relationships, and communities are what make life meaningful. A billionaire recently reminded 1,200 university graduates of this truth during a 2024 commencement speech. He and his wife gave each graduate two envelopes: one with £400 to keep, and another with £400 to give to someone in need. The lesson was simple: we only truly prosper when we learn to share, care and give.

Practical acts of love also show up in leadership. In Anambra State, Governor Charles Chukwuma Soludo recently introduced a monthly stipend for youth leaders across 179 communities, a gesture aimed at empowerment. He also approved N39 million to care for wounded soldiers serving in “Operation Udoka” in the South East. Such actions, though political in nature, send a powerful message that governance must be rooted in compassion. Love, however, is not always easy. Personalities clash, tongues slip, and selfishness creeps in. But choosing to show kindness in hard times is never wasted. It uplifts both the giver and the receiver. Love never turns anyone into a debtor.

Too often, people confuse pride or religion with love. Many wear their feelings on their sleeves, growing grumpy or bitter when things don’t go their way. Others put on religious tones that push people away instead of drawing them close. Worse still, society sometimes glorifies immorality, greed and fraud, as though love were optional. But love is not optional; it is a duty for all. Our world is already wounded. Every community is full of people carrying pain. Sometimes what we need most is not more money or possessions, but a “heart surgery” — a deliberate decision to replace bitterness with compassion.

Hatred is the root of wickedness, violence and bloodshed. Nigeria already bears the scars of lovelessness — from crime to corruption to social division. To celebrate the misfortune of others is to deepen the wound of our collective suffering. Love, on the other hand, brings healing. It lightens the human spirit, strengthens communities, and keeps hope alive. The greatest works of art combine both light and shadow to create beauty. In the same way, the greatest lives are not those free of hardship, but those that can turn suffering into compassion and joy into generosity.

Nigeria needs men and women who will be ethical, honest, bold and devoted to the well-being of others. Love is not weakness; it is strength. It is the highest form of courage. The greatest musicians often transform sorrow into song; so too must we transform hardship into compassion. In these hard times, the truest language we can speak is love.

 

Obiotika Wilfred Toochukwu wrote from the Living Grace Restoration Assembly Inc. in Nkono-Ekwulobia, Anambra State.