How to stop people-pleasing when it comes to money

If there’s one thing I know a lot of young people suffer from, it’s not knowing how to say ‘NO’ a.k.a people-pleasing. From relationships and friendships to interactions in work environments, it plays out in different situations. But what I find more shocking is when this lack of boundaries has to do with money. I […]

If there’s one thing I know a lot of young people suffer from, it’s not knowing how to say ‘NO’ a.k.a people-pleasing. From relationships and friendships to interactions in work environments, it plays out in different situations. But what I find more shocking is when this lack of boundaries has to do with money. I won’t lie, I used to be guilty of this too until Nigeria started Nigeria-ing, and what I could buy in January for N10,000 had become N30,000 by September. Omo, nobody had to tell me to get more intentional with my finances. And yes, people-pleasing is not an easy habit to break, but you can be a work in progress on a journey to becoming a better person with money if you try.

It starts with recognizing your patterns and asking yourself some questions to know why and how you do it. Using myself as an example, my obsession with people-pleasing started innocently by wanting to be nice. Immediately I got my paycheck, I’d think of all the people I owed gifts to out of goodwill or gratitude and generously send money without hesitating. If someone mentioned needing assistance, I’d transfer funds to them without thinking about it. It was a destructive cycle.

WebMD says that a people pleaser is typically someone everyone considers helpful and kind so it’s easy to see the habit as valuable rather than a flaw. To break free from it, you need to affirm to yourself that being kind or helpful doesn’t have to mean stretching yourself thin, and going broke or putting your future at risk. Think of all the money you could have put into your savings or investments rather than splurging on people inconveniently.

Next up, if you find yourself saying the word “yes” to money-related requests constantly, even when it puts a strain on your account and mental health, you can easily get caught in people-pleasing. While being thoughtful is admirable, prioritizing others’ needs over yours frequently can lead to stress and financial instability. To create a balance here, budgeting is key and personally, I’ve found it very useful. I started by creating budgets, seeing how expensive things were, by identifying everything I needed ahead of time, categorizing them and setting amounts. Things you’d typically find in my budget include rent, shopping, food, black tax a.k.a my family members and other unsolicited monthly bills. Also, to stick within my budget, I opt for splitting bills on stuff like hangouts with friends, rather than taking expensive costs alone.

Another way to curb your people-pleasing tendencies is to track expenses every weekend to see how well or badly you’ve done, and how to do better. I lacked consistency when I first tried this out but thankfully, gomoney, with its one-of-a-kind features, and a really helpful resource on the digital bank’s website came through. I got exposed to a world of managing my finances and monitoring my spending, all in one place. With the gomoney app, you don’t even have to worry about being a financial expert because it almost seems as though the bank was created with you and your needs in mind.

I can go on and on, telling you how to throw people-pleasing in the trash where it belongs, but your major takeaways from my tips and journey should be the importance of setting boundaries, creating budgets, and embracing digital tools. More importantly, remind yourself that saying NO is not selfish – it’s a healthy way to prioritize stability in your finances and overall well-being. By sharing this narrative, I hope you’re inspired to embark on your own path to financial liberation and bliss!