How women are suffering in their marriages

The Grand Khadi expressed concern over increasing cases of divorce among couples as constantly witnessed in the law courts.He blamed the trend on the faulty foundation upon which marriage contracts were sealed, regretting that some spouses especially husbands now regard divorce as a game.The resultant effect of this ‘game’, he noted is a ‘sorry situation’ […]

The Grand Khadi expressed concern over increasing cases of divorce among couples as constantly witnessed in the law courts.
He blamed the trend on the faulty foundation upon which marriage contracts were sealed, regretting that some spouses especially husbands now regard divorce as a game.
The resultant effect of this ‘game’, he noted is a ‘sorry situation’ which causes “sadness, broken homes, helpless children under mothers’ custody not seeing their fathers as often as allowed by law or the divorced wives not seeing their children because their father has taken them to an unknown place difficult for courts to bring them back to their mothers easily”.
 The Grand Khadi was delivering a lecture titled, “Wives’ rights to terminate marital contract under Islamic Law” at the ongoing
Ramadan lecture series organised by Islamic Missionaries Association of Nigeria (IMAN) in Ilorin.
According to him, the topic came about as a result of his experience in the court which indicated that most of our women in their husbands’ houses may be under compulsion or terrible stress.
“Most of the husbands don’t play their roles as it should be. In a situation where the husband shirks in his responsibility, the wife has  right to go to court and say ‘I want to divorce this man, he said.
The Grand Khadi explained that under Islamic Law, the intending couples should engage in courtship with the supervision of their parents to determine their compatibility before the marriage contract is sealed.
“Under Islamic law, there are so many conditions to be met before you can go into marital  contract. All these conditions, at least 75 or 80 per cent should be complied with before marriage can take place. Courtship with supervision of the parents should take place”, he said.
The jurist however advised Muslim couples to try as much as possible to avoid divorce, saying though divorce is lawful, it is highly detestable and discouraged in Islam.
“If they have difficulties and problems, they should be patient and forbearing. They have to work out their differences and seek help from their relatives, friends or professional counselors. Due to the sacredness of the marital contract, Islam asks both the husband and wife to keep and respect this bond. Each partner in this sacred relationship must treat the other kindly and properly”, he said.
The grand Khadi highlighted various forms of marriage dissolution under Islamic Law which include the one at the instance of the husband (Talaq); one as a result of mutual agreement of the spouses or the wife alone (Khul) Ila (where a husband takes an oath not to cohabit with his wife again); Az-zihar (where the husband equates the back of his wife to that of his mother in order to stop having sexual relationship with her and which is a way of indicating divorce); Lian (where the husband accuses his wife of committing adultery or the denial of a pregnancy by way of an oath).
He added, “The only way a wife can terminate her marital contract without her husband’s consent is through an Islamic law court and this is known as Faskh.
He explained further that though a man can institute a divorce against his wife, women are allowed to terminate their marital contract through Khul (Releasing herself from the marital bond) and Faskh (judicial separation).
According to him, a wife may propose divorce against her husband as a result of cruelty/maltreatment by husband, refusal or failure to perform marital obligation, defects in the husband, missing husband and failure to maintain the wife.
Mohammed, said, “A marital contract may be terminated if one of the spouses suffers from one defect or the other. This defect may be physical, moral, cultural or social and it is particularly so if the defect is physical.
“Cruelty may include such things as battery, verbal abuse, unusual sexual demands, refusal to have sexual intercourse, obstruction of religious practice, living an immoral life, etc”.
However, he reiterated that divorce should be the last resort after all attempts of reconciliations did not yield results, saying, “Spouses should endeavour to tolerate each other and live peacefully as this will not only augur well for their relationship but also the entire society at large”.
Guests at the lecture especially women described the presentation as an eye-opener, saying many women are ignorant of their rights hence they are made to suffer persistent and untold persecution all in the name of protecting their marriage.