‘I feel lonely being an only child’

Twenty-three-year-old Wang Yu, an automobile salesman, poses for a photograph with his 19-year-old wife at the Shaolin Temple, a Buddhist temple in Dengfeng County, Zhenghou, Henan Province, Central China. Wang and his wife were at the temple, a historic monument in Dengfeng along with numerous other visitors to savour some Shaolin Kung fu display which […]

Twenty-three-year-old Wang Yu, an automobile salesman, poses for a photograph with his 19-year-old wife at the Shaolin Temple, a Buddhist temple in Dengfeng County, Zhenghou, Henan Province, Central China. Wang and his wife were at the temple, a historic monument in Dengfeng along with numerous other visitors to savour some Shaolin Kung fu display which has become a famous brand of cultural tourism in Henan. In the midst of the photo session, a four-year-old girl, who had been strolling along with her mother, strays  into the young couple’s photo shot. A smiling Wang holds up the baby and gives her back to her mother. His smile was suggestive of Wang’s plans of having his own baby soon, and when Daily Trust on Sunday asked the couple how many children they wished to have, their response resonated China’s recent relaxation of the once strict one-child policy.  
“We want to have two”, they said, poking out two fingers for this reporter’s camera.
Back in her mother’s arms, the baby motioned to an ice-cream kiosk nearby, and her mum stooped to get her some. Jingfei, as she is called, is an only child, so she may now have the chance to get a junior. And her mother is all too keen. She says though she believes in former leader, Chairman Mao Tse Tung’s declaration soon after taking over power in 1949 that “Of all things in the world, people are the most precious”, she intends to go easy on having a second child for economic reasons.
Chairman Mao believed that having fewer children was a capitalist strategy to weaken China and expose it to attack, and urged the people to have many children to be able to muster strong defence against external enemies. But he realised in the early 1970s that too many people were becoming a problem, and started a policy of “late, long and few”, with the slogan: “One is good, two is ok, three too many.” China later began a nationwide birth control campaign for the one-child policy in 1972 and 1973, and formally introduced it in 1979.
“I want another child, but not now”, Jingfei’s mother said, “I want to take good care of this one first”.
Not too far off, a man in his early 20’s helps his aged parents on the stairs to pray at a shrine in the temple. He is the only child of the Luo family. He cherishes being well catered for as a lone offspring, but he was not very happy to be alone. The young Luo wishes he had a junior. But his parents say they are contented with just him at old age. To them, the new relaxation policy does not matter because it’s not only that they feel too old to start making new babies now, but also their resources aren’t good enough for another.
“We love our only son, and we are okay with him, no new baby anymore”, the old Luo said as he knelt with his wife to pray at the temple. But the young Luo, already a college graduate, says he’s finding it a little difficult to find a wife. He says he’s getting tired of being lonely and it’s like every good girl had been betrothed to someone else, making it difficult to find a wife. Such is the dilemma that the one-child policy subjected many Chinese, producing an unequal sex ratio with many boys and fewer girls.
The one-child policy was introduced to, according to the government, control population, improve living standards and curtail pressures on resources. It is believed to have kept excessive births in check, almost up to 400 million. Despite that, China’s population today stands at 1.36 billion, the largest in the world.
The policy entailed that couples with both parents as the only children could have another child. Rural dwellers could have a second child if the child was a girl or physically challenged.  Those from ethnic minorities outside the dominant Han majority could have more children. If a couple happened to have a girl-child, they could have a second, and after that, no more. Those who adhered to the policy were rewarded while violators were penalized, such as losing their jobs or being denied certain social benefits. A one-child certificate fetched better child care, longer maternity leave, preferential housing and cash bonuses. It was stricter in the urban areas than in rural areas where pressure was high on the people to keep to the limit because rural dwellers make up about 60 per cent of the population, and the acceptability of the policy there could determine its overall success.
A recent research by the National Family Planning Commission of China found that more women want to have more than one child. The research, according to media reports, showed that 70.7 per cent of women wants two or more babies. It said some women believe that an only child always feels lonely and often tends to be over-pampered. This view is held among many, including even some young Chinese girls. The commission also found that only about half of eligible couples wish to have two children, mostly because of the economic impact of a second child. The commission’s research may have formed part of the discussion to arrive at a recent decision to reform the policy. The government realised in the mid-1990s that the policy had resulted in a serious but unintended sex imbalance, with a male dominated society. Couples tended to prefer male children.
Couples told Daily Trust on Sunday  in China that though it was not very encouraging to produce too many children in the face of current economic realities, being restricted to just one child was painful.
“Chen is three years old.  I would have loved to have a second child all this while. This family needs a new baby.  We are pleased with the new decision; we have been yearning for it. Now, Chen can have a junior, we even need more than two children”, a Shanghai restaurant operator, Mrs Yang, told Daily Trust on Sunday.