I publish out of frustration – Musa Okpanachi

The social situation at the time, my own introspection, my own personality and my own psychology; these are the things that combined to fashion the book. Why did it take you that long to write a book? I didn’t even know I was writing a book. I was just writing my impression and keeping them. […]

The social situation at the time, my own introspection, my own personality and my own psychology; these are the things that combined to fashion the book.

Why did it take you that long to write a book?

I didn’t even know I was writing a book. I was just writing my impression and keeping them. So the idea of a book is an afterthought. It wasn’t my initial objective. I write to please myself, to see that I create something. That was all. It was an accident that the book was published.

A rather interesting accident. So how has the reception of the book made you feel?

It was great, you know. I have not started regarding myself as a poet yet because I have written only one book. One swallow does not make a summer (laughs). I have written only one book and you are calling me a poet. What would you say about people like JP Clark who have written so many things?

Well, considering that your one attempt at poetry was shortlisted for the LNG prize, which was not awarded last year, doesn’t that say something contrary?

The reception has been the most important thing.  My students come to me for advice. I feel great and I thank God greatly. I don’t know how to thank God for one book making a wave like this. I feel I was diminished. I was diminished.

Diminished in what sense?

In the sense that it is overwhelming. It’s just like you are walking in your new house and the ceiling collapses on you. It is unexpected. I think it was a favour from God.

Eventually, the LNG prize for the year you were shortlisted was not awarded. Were you disappointed?

You cannot be disappointed about what you have not got. When the shortlisted was announced, it was expectation that was created and expectations do not translate into concrete things. I keep telling people, you know, Lot’s wife in the Bible and the Qur’an; she looked back when Sodom and Gomorrah were being destroyed and she was turned into a pillar of salt. You know, that is fixation. I don’t want to get fixed in the past. As of the time I was shortlisted, my manuscript for my next poem was ready. That was my joy because that would have swollen my head and creativity would have vanished. I don’t want to dwell on it. It’s the will of God and the kind of stuff I wrote there, I will not get an award from a government establishment. That is my suspicion.

Why do you suspect that?

The reality today is captured in that book and they are shying away from it. It is the truth about this country. That’s the whole thing.

So in this light, do you consider yourself a political writer of sorts?

Not at all, not at all. I’m an observer of society. I am a mirror, a chameleon. I am a seer, a person who sees ordinarily.

Has the success of this collection made you want to write more?

Yes. At least, it’s an acceptance, it’s an encouragement, it’s pride. If I don’t write more, I cannot justify the first one. They will just say did you write it at all, you know, with a question mark on my profession…or my hobby.

Has this put any added pressure on your writing?

Yes, my writing has improved and it encourages me to invest in my own brain too.

And how have you be doing that?

Well, you could see me buying books there. I buy books the way a drunkard buys drinks. You buy so much to write so little. That’s the thing.

So juggling the responsibility of working and writing; how do you manage that?

I write on my toes. I teach English language and if I don’t use it, it becomes atrophy. I practice what I teach my students and so they compliment. They [my students] could see in my book what I was teaching them, so they compliment. They are not contraries.

So when did you start writing your poems?

Since 1975, if you are talking about the rudimentary first poem I wrote. I wrote it to please myself when I was facing the challenge of writing my public exam, whether justice will be done, because they will tell you one person will write the exams and another person will get the result. So because of that, I wrote the first poem because it’s a challenge and it needed to be captured to give me assurance.

So it took you about 35 years to write your first collection?

No, no, no. None of those poems appeared in this collection. This is a break. This one took me maybe…I wasn’t writing for a competition, I wasn’t writing for anything. I was solely writing to please myself and when I read some of my writings, I get pleased. That was the whole aim from the beginning. So, this one took me about four years of relaxed writing, not stampeding myself, not rushing myself.

Now, what next should we be expecting from you?

I wrote something like the dogs and the angels (Laughs) it’s a book of poetry.  And I am coming up with another one; It was a Bliss, which is the story of love fantasy. A lot of things are there. There is love, there is life, and there is death.

And how soon should we be expecting that?

As I told you, I am not writing because I want to publish. My primary aim is to entertain myself. When I finish entertaining myself and I get tired of holding the book, I will publish it out of frustration (Laughs) because, frustration in the sense that I know it has inadequacies and I lack the mental capacity to improve it so I have to publish it out of frustration (laughs) So, I know this thing has inadequacies but I publish it because I lack the capacity to improve it. I cannot operate beyond the level of my capacity if the dream has not come, if I have not hallucinated, I leave it there.