If only you know

‘But you could have come at any other time’ she replied assuringly, ‘you need not have bothered yourself today.’‘No, there is no way I will let the very first member of our Ladies’ parliament to become a federal minister, remain un-congratulated for 24 hours. No way.’ I emphasized jokingly.‘Thank you so much, I really appreciate […]

‘But you could have come at any other time’ she replied assuringly, ‘you need not have bothered yourself today.’
‘No, there is no way I will let the very first member of our Ladies’ parliament to become a federal minister, remain un-congratulated for 24 hours. No way.’ I emphasized jokingly.
‘Thank you so much, I really appreciate your solidarity. I will also need your prayers.’ She requested humbly.
‘Oh but those are guaranteed Sabira. We all know that since you are a thorough bred academic whose whole life revolved around the lecture hall and the general environment of the campus, you will need prayers to work with bureaucrats and politicians. Don’t worry, you will get our prayers in abundance.’ I assured.
‘Actually the prayers I seek are not for adjusting in the work place.’
Sabira answered, handing me a plate of fried minced meat, dambun nama, with a glass of juice. ‘They are for getting my husband to accept this appointment. You know he has been away from the time I was nominated up to the senate screening and the confirmation today. I am expecting him back tomorrow.’ She explained.
‘But why do you think he will reject the appointment? Did he want another portfolio for you? Will he think agriculture is too masculine and prefer women affairs as your ministry?’ I asked.
‘No Bint, my husband will not like any ministry for me. Indeed he would want me not to take up this appointment as minister.’ Sabira declared.
‘And here I was thinking that he was the force behind your appointment. Don’t get me wrong, I know that you are eminently qualified by virtue of your educational status and exposure but you know that other factors always come into play on these issues and your husband is a top banker. And though he may not be a card-carrying member of any political party, he may have enough sympathy for the ruling party to be able to influence events.’ I explained.
‘I know what you mean Bint. But you are very wrong in this respect. My husband has always fought against anything that will elevate me or empower me above what I earn as a university lecturer. He had done nothing but put obstacles on my path in the last ten years. I pushed hard because I was determined to do something with my life.’ She admitted.
‘You mean you became a university professor without his support?’ I asked in shock.
‘Yes I did. In fact ever since he took his second wife, it was as if the sole aim of his life had become to drag me down to her level rather than push her ahead to catch up with me. I was already a master’s degree holder when she arrived with her first degree but from then on he became obsessed with stopping me from going for a PhD.
Being in the academia means pursuing a doctorate degree isn’t only desirable but also natural. Yet he tried all he could to frustrate my efforts. I held on and remained focused on my work and studies. And I succeeded.’ Sabira disclosed.
Ma sha Allah, that’s the spirit. But I can’t help feeling disappointed. I always thought you enjoyed his full support and encouragement. I mean the way you seem so happy and are steadily progressing in life, I thought your husband was the secret of your success.’ I observed.
‘If only you know Bint, if only you know that I haven’t had a bigger adversary in my career than him. Once I applied for a loan in the university to enable me set up a livestock farm. I thought it would be a worthwhile venture since as an agric expert I knew enough about animal breeding to make me a successful livestock farmer. I didn’t know how he did it, but after discussing everything with him and laying bare my plans, he went behind the scenes and scuttled everything. Suddenly I was told I couldn’t the loan whose requirements I had met from A to Z.
In fact as someone who had never taken any other loan, I thought I would enjoy additional consideration. But there I was being told that funds were limited so they had to prioritize who to lend to. It took me two years to discover the role he played in making sure I didn’t get the loan. I never told him that I had found out until he did it again recently. I was selected, along with other lecturers, to go on a four-week tour of three developed countries to learn about advanced agricultural techniques. After the tour we will be entitled to a grant with which to implement aspects of the tour that most impressed us here. My husband welcomed the idea and congratulated me but went straight ahead to our head of department and had me replaced by someone else. He lied that I had a sick child who needed me so I shouldn’t be away for so long.
When I was taken off the list I went and asked why, and my HOD gave me some unconvincing reasons. But because I was so looking forward to the tour, I went straight to the dean of our faculty and complained. It was the dean that got my HOD to confess that my husband had come to insist on my removal from the list. I told them that I had no sick child and my youngest, who is already a teenager, is in boarding school. This time around I went straight home and confronted him and he admitted that he did to but it was because he didn’t want me so far from him for too long. It was then that I told him that I knew what he did to stop me from getting the loan. He was at first speechless, then he resorted to the crazy theory that he will be lonely if I had set up a livestock farm because it will keep me busy outdoors most of the time.’ She ended.
‘But he already had a second wife then, didn’t he?’ I asked.
‘Yes, he had a second wife then and he has a third one now but with two extra wives, he still lied that I had a sick child to prevent me from going on the tour.’ Sabira complained.
‘He must love your company very much. Otherwise he wouldn’t mind letting you go since they will be there to take care of him.’ I observed, smiling.
‘Love my company? No don’t be naïve Bint, all he wants is to prevent me from getting anywhere in life unless he wills it. Otherwise why wouldn’t he tell me that he doesn’t want what I am after rather than secretly sabotage my plans and even ruin my reputation in the process.
The first time he told the university that if they gave me a loan I will squander the money and force him to pay back. They chose to believe him. In the case of the tour he made me look bad because he said I was a mother who was willing to leave a sick child behind and go on a four week long trip. Luckily I found out in time to salvage my reputation, indeed he was the one who ended up looking bad because he lied, but I missed the trip and the grant because somebody else had already been made to replace me.‘ Sabira complained.
‘But do you have any idea why he is doing this, if it’s not to keep you near him?’ I asked.
‘I think it’s just to make his wives happy. His logic is if they can’t reach up to me, then let me be brought down to them. I feel he is too high up to feel threatened by my success. He is only tying me down  to prevent his wives from feeling intimidated by my stature.’ She argued.
‘Really, but if you are right that is very mean of him.’ I said.
‘Yes it is, so you see why I can’t be sure he will accept my ministerial appointment. He may not be able to scuttle it from behind my back, but he will surely make it impossible for me to do the work if he decides to.’ She stated.
‘Yes, you are right. Well we can only pray that he finds it in his heart to allow you to serve your country in an area in which you are so competent.’ I advised.
‘That was what our faculty’s dean said too when he nominated me. He said the state governor called our VC and asked for the best agric expert in our department because he had been informed that the agric slot had been zoned to this state. The VC asked our dean and he immediately gave him my name. The VC said he called the governor and told him that ‘ Your Excellency, the best man for the job is a woman.’
That was how I got to be nominated.’ She ended.
‘Please tell your husband all this, it might help you get his approval for the job. Otherwise, you just might have to grin and bear it, in the spirit of your name, which means ‘the patient one.’ I urged.
‘Yes, you are right. But I’ll continue to pray before he returns. I do believe in miracles you know.’ She replied, with a faint smile.