‘I’m already missing you, Baba’

I reach out for your hand and all Ii feel is an empty space – now I know the true meaning of the phrase ‘all good things must end’. My darling father is gone, my Baba, my hero, my friend. Oh, Allah! Will this roller coaster of pain never end? I ask myself over and […]

I reach out for your hand and all Ii feel is an empty space – now I know the true meaning of the phrase ‘all good things must end’. My darling father is gone, my Baba, my hero, my friend. Oh, Allah! Will this roller coaster of pain never end? I ask myself over and over. And then I remember his words to me: “You are my first born, my rock; we depend on you to keep us on track, to keep things in order. I did not raise you to be weak.” Indeed, my father raised me to be strong. 

It will be hard, Baba, but I won’t fail you. I promise to strive hard to meet and exceed all your expectations. 

Baba lived a simple life, a life of humility and emotional generosity. He was a happy man who found humour in everything, and was so much fun to be around. Growing up, our home was full of love and laughter, and Baba believed that nothing was more important. Also, there never was a dull moment with him around.

He taught me to play poker, to drive and to swim, to sing, to be happy and to pray. He taught us never to measure success by the size of a bank balance, rather by friends we make and keep along the way. No words can do justice to the love and strength he gave to us. The pain of his passing has created a vacuum so wide it’s impossible to fill. I take comfort, however, in the wisdom, love, kindness and integrity he bequeathed on us. 

I thank Allah for the life he lived and for the chance we got to take care of him till the end.  I won’t be making him pancakes and coffee or scolding him for losing his shoes. I will miss that, terribly. I will miss hearing the words “Who wound up my Chinese doll?” Then whenever I whine or rant when upset, he’d smile and say “Allah ya miki albarka kaka ta”, as I was named after his grandmother. Most of all, I would miss being loved and pampered by him. 

My father was a true prince, and he touched so many lives in his own special way and was a father and friend to all. Sometimes life deals us blows that are unimaginable in pain but as Muslims, we remain steadfast in faith.

Baba gave us the greatest gift; he loved us and believed in us and went out like his favorite song “In a blaze of glory”. He strived hard to take care of us and ensured we never lacked for anything. If love could give life, he would have lived forever. But Allah knows best. 

I pray your illness was purification for you, I pray you were happy with us. May the angels of mercy accommodate you, and may Allah pardon you, Baba, and may we be reunited in paradise insha Allah.