IMF catches Yuan Fever

The surgeon-general warns that cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health. I can live with that. It is the duty of the surgeon-general to issue alerts. But what if I have a cigarette vendor friend who claims to love me more than I love myself and insists that his own brand of cigarettes is actually […]

The surgeon-general warns that cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health. I can live with that. It is the duty of the surgeon-general to issue alerts. But what if I have a cigarette vendor friend who claims to love me more than I love myself and insists that his own brand of cigarettes is actually non-carcinogenic – even when all his customers are showing traits of respiratory tract infections or worse? 
The International Monetary Fable, regularly spun by the International Monetary Fund (IMF) is that you can cure cough by eating coconut or ameliorate migraine by drinking ogogoro. Come and borrow ideas and money from us, says IMF. We have a one-pill cure for all your fiscal and monetary problems. We have done it in Briberia, Mumuria and Fabularia. We can do it for you.
All these claims are made even when the world is strewn with the carcasses of countries who swallowed the IMF poison without question and lost whatever remained of their dignity and social cohesion.
In IMF’s dictionary, there are no intervening variables. They are dealing with straitjackets. States are reduced to mechanical contraptions which obey programmed stimuli. Thus the arrogance:  wherever you are in the world, we – and only we – have the answers to your problems. There is no alternative to our model of economic recovery. Even if you accuse us of goading you to enter the belly of the monster, you must acknowledge that this is a benevolent monster.
The current IMF boss, Christine Lagarde, was in Nigeria sometime ago. She met President Buhari. The media was awash with reports that she had come to hawk the usual poisoned chalice of structural adjustment, IMF-style, all over again. She said, no; she had only come as a friend. The overwhelming view of Nigerians was that Buhari should not buy IMF’s expired ideas. Let’s try other channels, many commentators suggested.
Last week, Nigeria signed a number of deals with China. At the conclusion of the visit, the Presidency said the President’s trip had yielded over $6bn additional investments for Nigeria geared towards making positive impact on key sectors of the Nigerian economy, including power, solid minerals, gas, agriculture, housing, road and rail transportation. About 100 Nigerian businesses and 300 Chinese firms participated in the Nigeria-China business forum.
It was a historic shift from our total reliance on the West for everything from ideology to toothpick. It was also a set of deals that would provide jobs to millions of unemployed Nigerians. Yuan is sticking its neck through our economic window. Currently the Naira exchanges at about N30.7 to the Yuan while the dollar is officially N199, but Yuan exchanges with the dollar at about 6-1. You get the math? Now, why on earth should we look for dollar to do business with an economy denominated in Yuan? If the UK, Russia, India are already doing deals with Yuan, why would we shy away from it?
Now, there is panic in IMFville! Speaking at the IMF conference hall in Washington DC last week, Lagarde said, “Our recommendation is that Nigeria seeks help from the international institutions that can best help”. By that she means IMF and the World Bank.
Thanks, but no thanks, Ms Lagarde. Your advice that Nigeria should be “open-minded  and flexible” on the Naira’s exchange rate is self-serving. No self-respecting nation will watch her national currency being reduced to ordinary paper without taking action to reverse the situation. Nigerians know that they cannot continue doing things the same old way and expect different results. We know we have to diversify the economy. That is why the Chinese are coming to invest in our  economy in a big way. We know we have to stem the tide of corruption; that is why eminent thieves who, by the way, have stashed away their loot in dollars are facing the law courts now.
Why doesn’t IMF sell its cigarettes to other smokers? As recently stated by Finance Minister Adeosun, “We are doing a combination of things to diversify our economy, with revenue mobilisation  to enable sufficient investment in developing the non-oil sectors.”
No amount of western propaganda against this patriotic move by the Buhari administration will succeed. Nigeria has a right to protect her own interests.
Ms. Lagarde, we have not outlawed the age-old economic waltz we danced with you over the years. But there can’t be anything wrong with learning new dance steps – No?

Fayose needs psychiatric help!
When I read that Ekiti State governor, Ayodele Fayose wrote a letter to President Xi Jinping of China, seeking the stoppage of the $2 billion loan allegedly sought by the federal government, I said this was one bridge too far.
Fayose first criticised Buhari for the China trip, then promptly jetted off to China himself. Is this guy all right?
In what capacity was Fayose writing the Chinese government? This is a new dimension in politics in Nigeria – externalising political buffoonery. Fayose has crossed the line.
I think Fayose’s strategy is to make so much noise internationally, posturing as the number one foe of the Buhari administration, that when his criminal rigging of the last elections eventually catches up with him, he can then allege persecution. Apparently, he does not know the difference between inflow of foreign investment and a loan (remember, that there are still questions as to whether  Fayose has an HND certificate)?
Writing as if from a pupil to a senior prefect, the Number one carpetbagger of Ekiti informs the Chinese premier that, “Particularly, by the autocratic nature of our president, the federal government is not prepared to listen to wise counsel, hence the desperation to take unwarranted loans….”
‘Autocratic’? Oh, don’t remind me how imperial Obasanjo who would have ‘demoncratically’ exorcised this demon!
Here’s hoping that Ayodele Fayose gets the necessary psychiatric help before he finally self-destructs.