IN FOUR WEEKS’ TIME!

Now there are two fronts where Nigeria’s wars are being “fought”: the Military Front and the Political Front. While there are pieces of good news coming from the Military Front, the Political Front is sadly bereft of anything but wickedness, corruption, malice and other negativities. How sad!MILITARY FRONT: After the liberation of Baga and other […]

Now there are two fronts where Nigeria’s wars are being “fought”: the Military Front and the Political Front. While there are pieces of good news coming from the Military Front, the Political Front is sadly bereft of anything but wickedness, corruption, malice and other negativities. How sad!
MILITARY FRONT: After the liberation of Baga and other places (six weeks for six years) with the help of the CCN Coalition (remember Chad, Cameroon and Niger?), the President and his military top brass have been brave enough to visit Mubi and elsewhere. Promotions have been promised for our gallant fighters. It is our hope that those who lost their lives would also be doubly promoted (to double death benefits) and their widows and orphans immediately shown care. May their pains be lessened by the Merciful Lord!
POLITICAL FRONT: Despite all the gloomy scenarios, we can’t help but be amused by our Chief Entertainer, former President Olusegun Obasanjo. It has finally turned out that the card he had shred to smithereens was really an invalid one, signed by a certain Baraje of a certain nPDP, and the card was about to be replaced! Meanwhile, Turakin Sokoto and former President Shehu Shagari turned 90 recently. Lo and behold! All planes in the presidential fleet flew North West to Sokoto. The message is not lost on any observer.
IN FOUR WEEKS, LET US LEARN FROM MISTAKES OF THE PAST. A mistake, they say, like experience, is a Great Teacher too: “Thomas Edison, the great inventor, tried two thousand different materials in search of a filament for the light bulb. When none worked satisfactorily, his assistant complained, ‘All our work is in vain. We have learned nothing.’ Edison replied very confidently, ‘Oh, but we have come a long way and we have learned a lot. We now know that there are two thousand elements which we cannot use to make a good light bulb.’”
MILITARY FRONT: The most trending of the issues on the front burner are the order to ‘catch’ Shekau alive, a fugitive who has been killed over and over, and the lack of similar order to #bringbackourgirls alive. The fishiest and really eye-popping part of the whole matter is the social media gossip that an ‘apprehended’ Shekau may proceed to implicate a certain presidential candidate as a closet Boko Haram – have we sunk so low? And, if so, what desperation!
POLITICAL FRONT: These six weeks, and the four weeks we have hence, have become so fruitful for many. Traditional rulers, clerics from both sides and other so-called opinion leaders are smiling home with pockets full of dollars. Perhaps some of them hid theirs in their caps, for lack of pocket space. The despicability and shamelessness of all these! So sad that the primordial tendencies we have witnessed during these campaigns have drastically reduced the humanity of so many people.
IN FOUR WEEKS, LET US KNOW WHO COLLECTED THEIR DOLLARS. The Hausa say ‘Abokin Barawo Barawo Ne’ (Literally: ‘The friend of a thief is himself a thief’, or, you are defined by the company you keep): “Finding that cranes were destroying his newly sown corn, a farmer one evening set a net in his field to catch the destructive birds. When he went to examine the net next morning, he found a number of cranes and also a stork. ‘Release me, I beseech you,’ cried the stork, ‘for I have eaten none of your corn, nor have I done you any harm. I am a poor innocent stork, as you may see – a most dutiful bird, I honour my father and mother. I…’ But the farmer cut him short. ‘All this may be true enough, I dare say, but I have caught you with those were destroying my crops, and you must suffer with the company in which you are found.’”
MILITARY FRONT: Meanwhile, sadly, Boko Haram has resumed its indiscriminate attacks on so-called soft targets – markets, motor parks, etc. Jos, Kano, Damaturu, Potiskum and other towns have recently been targeted. These casualties are as a result of our disorganisation as a society, where we can’t even man our backyards. The security personnel are, it must be acknowledged, generally overwhelmed – although some overwhelmed by the great task of collecting toll on our highways.
POLITICAL FRONT: Also trending is the story of the soon-to-be fate of the Election Umpire, INEC’s Professor Attahiru Jega. Anything can happen to the referee, even though the coin has been tossed and the sides chosen; even though the ball in in the centre and all players are around the centre circle. The unthinkable can be executed, as this is Nigeria. The referee could be substituted before the game. And the Referee’s offence? Insistence of the use of PVCs and, for maximum effect, the card reader! This Column insists on both, too!
IN FOUR WEEKS TIME, LET US RUMINATE ON HOW CORRUPTION KILLED THIS NATION. Nigeria has been stolen blind, and there must be a full stop, not a comma: “A Nigerian politician was opportune to visit a similarly corrupt country on another continent. While there, he met his opposite number who owned several luxury cars and lived in a mansion with several servants. ‘How can you be so affluent?’ wondered the Nigerian politician aloud. The other took him to the window and showed out a road, ‘Do you see that road?’ ‘Yes?’ The other patted his pocket and said, ‘15%; from an eight-laner to a six-laner’. The Nigerian politician returned to Nigeria. A year later, the other politician visited Nigeria. When he noticed that the Nigerian now had a more lavish lifestyle than himself, he had to ask, ‘How did you do it?’ The Nigerian politician beckoned the visitor to the window. ‘Do you see that bridge over there?’ ‘What bridge?’ asked the other, seeing no bridge. The Nigerian pats his pocket and says, ‘100%’.”
And finally, in four weeks let us all try to rise above ourselves: “A wise old woman who was travelling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveller who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveller saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveller left, rejoicing his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. ‘I’ve been thinking,’ he said, ‘I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious.’ ‘And what is that?’ asked the wise woman. The other replied: ‘Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.’”
And here we are, still at HasbunalLahu wa ni’imal Wakeel! (Allah is Sufficient for us and He is the Best Disposer of affairs). And to this we add Inna lilLahi wa inna ilaiHi raji’un! (We are from Allah, and to Him shall we return).