In memory of a father and friend

I feel so blessed to have had you as my father and I’m thankful for the wonderful life you have given me. A devoted father and a true friend, I know that my list of gratitude is endless and continues to grow with each passing day. You were courageous, self-willed, committed, hardworking, a disciplinarian, caring, […]

I feel so blessed to have had you as my father and I’m thankful for the wonderful life you have given me. A devoted father and a true friend, I know that my list of gratitude is endless and continues to grow with each passing day. You were courageous, self-willed, committed, hardworking, a disciplinarian, caring, ambitious, and so on. You would stop at nothing to make sure we, your children, got the best basic education. You made us live by the philosophy that ‘If you want to be Daddy’s girl or boy, be serious with your studies, period!’
To the world he was more than just a sincere and honest person, his well-meaning personality and wisdom earned him the name Solomon, as given to him by by HRH the late Chief Philip Agbese Onazi as he was a man of principle throughout his career.
I cannot comprehend that Adan is gone and I only wish I had spent more days with him when I and my kids visited him during the Christmas break. Which leaves me wondering: Did he know we would never meet again till the world beyond? Or that we were seeing each other for the last time? Waiting for answers, I’m left pondering it, the first time something so real, so permanent has hit me and left me feeling lost, lonely and helpless.
Adan, you were such a prominent figure in my upbringing. I learnt so much from simply watching you. I remember throughout my school days, you would always ask about my grades and progress. I do not know where to start, as I can still hear the melodic sound of your voice calling me by my pet name ‘Oi’ode’, a name he was fond of and has called me right from my childhood till his death even though I am now a mother of two. He’s such an affectionate father, grandfather and great grandfather.
You will never be forgotten, Adan, as your consistent counselling filled with affection has touched us deeply, moulding and shaping the developmental years of our lives without curbing our inherent inclination.  What can we say, if not thanks for the care and love you have bestowed upon us, the understanding and support you have extended for whatever best we could achieve. I will never forget the sacrifice you made in teaching us how to read at a very tender age, while other fathers go socializing after work. You would sit at home to teach us how to read alphabet and numbers even before enrolment into school. You handed down words to me in your mother-tongue, using phrases that made it easy for me to recall and made conscious efforts in teaching us all how to read and write in our native Agila language.
There is a common saying that ‘if you are raised by Daddy and you are not disciplined, then something is actually wrong with you.’ One of his greatest philosophies of life was to mind his business and never poke his nose in other people’s affairs. People close to me often wonder why I repeat some of the several sayings of my dad, time and time again and I often reply that his advice is priceless and given in ways that ensure they stay with me at all times. And he truly lives on in all our lives, my friend, my hero, my dad.  I still find it difficult to comprehend your absence, but who am I to question the Giver and Taker of life? Continue to rest on.
Adayi-Igah wrote in from Jos, Plateau State.