In response to their collective ignorance

This is mainly from undiluted jealousy of the indubitable Harvard trained and World Bank-approved masters of the roll who mesmerize us with expenditure intentions. This year’s budget proposal as uniquely laid on the table by Madam Gele is a record 1,820 pages. That is enough to scare the daylight out of those of us who […]

This is mainly from undiluted jealousy of the indubitable Harvard trained and World Bank-approved masters of the roll who mesmerize us with expenditure intentions. This year’s budget proposal as uniquely laid on the table by Madam Gele is a record 1,820 pages. That is enough to scare the daylight out of those of us who have trouble reading the bulky Accidental Public Servant but find it expedient to run commentaries on social media.
The Rule of Law Collective, a Naija-based heckling group is not one of those. It spent one month to digest the proposal and concluded rather erroneously that the proposed 4.6 trillion naira budget 2014 is not for the people. This is where we begin our disagreement. When did we start budgeting for the people? The last time I checked the people pave their own roads, build their own schools (and beg government to help defray the cost by taking them over and ruining them). The people provide their own water and security. The people pay for services not delivered and are satisfied with it. A budget is a proposal by the cabal detailing how it plans to waste resources. It is a club thing and non-members are exempted from commenting on it.

So the Ruse, sorry Rule of Law Collective who are not vagabonds in power and do not live anywhere near Asokoro has a grouse with the construction of a State House VIP Wing for a paltry N705 million. It painfully argues that this is N22 million shy of the budget for three selected tertiary health centres in Ile-Ife, Ilorin and Sokoto. If a member of the Collective dies, nobody even knows, but imagine the cost if President Jones goes to the poison centre in The Gambia or Lame Pat had to go to Germany for three months.
The Collective thinks that kitting the armed forces of the feral republic is more important than rewarding militancy and brigandage. It frowned at the anticipatory budget of N23.6 billion for 30,000 potential brigands and the reintegration budget of N35.4 billion for transformed ex-militants as ludicrously too high, compared to the budget of the armed forces and the police. Where were the armed forces and the police when Tompolo, Dokubo and Boyloaf were promoted generals and rewarded with lucrative maritime and other security contracts? So what if anticipated and identified brigands get N59 billion while defence, armed forces and police get N45 billion. We would rather send brigands to Sandhurst than disposable soldiers and policemen.
It is collective ignorance for home-baked laymen to query a budget prepared by an IMF-approved minister. So, on the paltry budget of N250 billion for the Irrational Assembly N250 billion of 109 sinators and 360 rebels, I comment my reserve until the lawbreakers add their own generous padding.
The SGF’s office gets only N6.3 billion for writing shorthand and transforming its building. If the figures were doubled, we could have produced another wonder of the world like hanging that office in the clouds and bringing it down at the click of a button. What about insulating it against Boko Haram bombs? The Collective should send a proposal showing technical competence instead of complaining. If people complain about your budget, hug them prayerfully, because spending can be intimidating for the poor.
There’s generosity in the budget for Oladipo whose surname Diya literally means, block poverty. His genuflecting video on YouTube has garnered nearly 200,000 views, for a country with low internet connectivity. For shedding so much tears when caught red handed, Abacha wickedly stripped him of his rank and left him to rot in jail. His cowardice qualified him for presidential pardon and the restoration of his rank is our new definition of valour. For all that, tax payers (sorry oil drillers) are to reward him with N200 million. I am thankful that nobody complained about this generosity, we must reward not just cowardice but treason.

While serially paying for its eleventh addition, the Presidential Air Fleet is finally moving towards replacing the docile and moribund Air Force. It gets N3.9 billion as capital and the repair of the most opulent fleet in the globe – about half the entire budget of the outgoing air force. This is generosity for not totally scrapping the defence ministry in favour of militants. We should jump and prance, because some countries have money and don’t know how to waste it.
Foreign trips which bring lots of dividends to those who make it would consume N2.4 billion this year. Rather than lobby to be slotted into a few of those trips so that they can hammer, the Collective are trying to cause disaffection and ill-will among docile spectators of the looting class. If nothing at all, this is reprehensible and gravely aggravating. I hope nobody pays them or any other heckler any attention. In my books this is a well- conceived Transformation Budget ever put together by President Jones economic team.

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(In Eugene Enahoro’s account of the recent Daily Trust Dialogue in his column yesterday, he erroneously referred to Jubril Aminu, when it should have been Jibo Ibrahim; the error is regretted.)