IN TWO WEEKS’ TIME!

This is crass lawlessness! What is happening in the political arena today is put-offish, disdainful and abominable! Reason why many otherwise decent and respectable citizens avoid politics and anything to do with it! The abuses, the castigations, the brazen libels, the slanders – yet no regulatory body is doing anything about it! But thankful that […]

This is crass lawlessness! What is happening in the political arena today is put-offish, disdainful and abominable! Reason why many otherwise decent and respectable citizens avoid politics and anything to do with it! The abuses, the castigations, the brazen libels, the slanders – yet no regulatory body is doing anything about it! But thankful that only two weeks remain on both the Political and the Military Fronts:
POLITICAL: Old Membership-Card ‘Tearer’ and former leader celebrated a birthday, just like another former president did the other week. But one birthday was not like another. Whereas one had a cake and an array of former leaders, the other had to do with close friends. One of these ‘associates’, a certain retired general given the task of making Sure, was said to have chanted the banned word ‘Change’…a word for which an order had come from on high to ‘throway’ whoever uttered it. And Surely the utterer was ‘throwed-way’, like almajiri. But at least the Old Man Birthday Celebrant scored two goals, aye, two goals, at a novelty football match. One for him and one for her…
MILITARY: A prominent member of CCN+N Coalition fighting for and on our behalf also scored two goals: one, they said we were blocking them from accomplishing a military victory on the problem at hand; and two, they told a certain wanted cat-with-nine-lives leader – dead today alive tomorrow – that he better surrender or they will deal with him, and that that they know exactly where he is, was, shall be. These two goals, despite the feel-good feeling for our victoriously rolling troops, must be ‘throway’ where they should…
So to the word “Change”; it has now been discovered that it can instantly lose you a job, even if you are Sure of it, as this story titled ‘Don’t Change the World, Change Yourself’, shows: “Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One day, he went for a trip to some distant areas of his country. When he was back to his palace, he complained that his feet were very painful, because it was the first time that he went for such a long trip, and the road that he went through was very rough and stony. He then ordered his people to cover every road of the entire country with leather. Definitely, this would need thousands of hides, and would cost a huge amount of money. Then one of his wise servants dared to advise the king, ‘Sire, why do you have to spend that amount of money? Why don’t you just cut a little piece of the leather to cover your own feet?’ The king was surprised, but saw the wisdom of the suggestion, and made a pair of shoes for himself.” So next time, be circumspect in your use of the word “Change”.
POLITICAL: It’s inexplicable that rumours would fill the polity to the brim about a certain leading opposition figure being promised a Vice Presidential slot in a last-card Interim National Government (ING) being concocted from two Rocks – one in Aso and the other about one hundred and fifty kilometres away due north west. Denials all over. But we ‘throways’ only begin to believe things when the denials become so vehement – wasn’t it so with the denial of election postponement? And then what about that rumour about a certain party chairman either ‘throwaying’ his chair or being ‘throwed-way’ like his fellow almajiri!
MILITARY: Students of history may well remember Hitler’s Nazi Germany over-reached itself during the Second World War by attacking Russia; so did Imperial Japan do by attacking the United States. Our own insurgents perhaps did the same over-punching by attacking CCN. The Good Lord has looked kindly upon us, and we are grateful and thankful!
Indeed we should be thankful for any little favour, as in this story titled, “We Should Be Grateful Whatever Little We Get”: “One hot summer day, two men were walking along a road. Soon it became too hot to go any further and, seeing a large tree nearby, they threw themselves on the ground to rest in its shade. Gazing up into the branches, one man said to the other: ‘What a useless tree this is. It does not have fruit or nuts that we can eat.’ ‘Don’t be so ungrateful,’ rustled the tree in reply. ‘I am being extremely useful to you at this very moment, shielding you from the hot sun. And you call me a good-for-nothing? OK, go back into the hot sun!’” So let’s be grateful, so that the Lord does not ‘throway’ us back into the hot sun!
POLITICAL: These documentaries! These documentaries!! These documentaries!!! How many times have I called them?
MILITARY: Our insurgents have finally pledged allegiance to superiors and the superiors are said to have accepted. And then the Yankees, who refused to help us (albeit with own their professed good reason), may well come back in. But all we crave now is #BringBackOurGirls – however torn, however crumpled, however dirty! We want them back! They are priceless!
However crumpled, however torn, however dirty, however unkempt, ours is ours and we would love to have ours back. We would pick them, brush them, renew them, as this story titled “Priceless to Those Who Love You” shows: “A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, ‘Who would like this $20 bill?’ All hands went up. Then he said, ‘I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.’ He proceeded to crumple up the $20 bill. He asked, ‘Who still wants it?’ Still hands were up in the air. ‘Well, what if I do this?’ He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty and asked, ‘Who still wants it?’ Still the hands were all up. So he said, ‘My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what was done to the money, it was still wanted because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or will happen, you will never lose your value: dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you.’” So are Chibok Girls! Priceless. Even if crumpled and dirty and torn, #BringBackOurGirls!
Finally, perhaps it is about our particularly useless and irresponsible politicians that this joke was invented in the first place: “Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with politicians’ brains. They discovered that on the right side there is nothing left, and on the left side there is nothing right!” Nothing!
And here we are, still at HasbunalLahu wa ni’imal Wakeel! (Allah is Sufficient for us and He is the Best Disposer of affairs). And to this we add Inna lilLahi wa inna ilaiHi raji’un! (We are from Allah, and to Him shall we return).