Infertility: why women should not be blamed

Agnes Saleh (not real name) sat down agitated during a workshop organised by a fertility clinic for couples desiring to have children.  Thinking aloud, she uttered this simple prayer, “Oh God, if only you can give me a child like you did for my friends, I will forever remain grateful.” That prayer sums up the […]

Agnes Saleh (not real name) sat down agitated during a workshop organised by a fertility clinic for couples desiring to have children.  Thinking aloud, she uttered this simple prayer, “Oh God, if only you can give me a child like you did for my friends, I will forever remain grateful.”
That prayer sums up the reason for her agitation. Agnes has been married for 13 years and has not had a child.
 “I have sought medical assistance and have done several tests which show I am medically alright but then I have not been able to conceive. However, test has shown that my husband has a low sperm count. And he has undergone some treatments to increase his sperm count but yet nothing has happened. We have resolved to trust God to give us a child. But I can tell you, it’s not an easy experience. I don’t wish it for my enemy,” Saleh agonises.
Agnes recalls her mother-in-law calling her a useless woman for not being able to conceive.
“She told me I was not able to have a child because I lived a wayward life and aborted all the children God gave me. She asked me to leave her son alone so he can marry another woman that will give birth to children”, she recalled.
Hassana Gimba on the other hand explains the reason why she has not conceived. “They did a test and discovered that one of my fallopian tubes is blocked. I have undergone some medical procedures but yet, it has not been reversed. They doctor said with one fallopian tube I can still conceive and have a baby.”Gimba said.
Nana Fagge said she has been diagnosed to have fibroid which is positioned in the place a child should grow.
 “Medically, this can be removed through surgery but I don’t have the money for it. My husband is a barber and I earn less than N20, 000 as a cleaner.” Fagge said pathetically.
Gloria Chollom has not been able to conceive as well for seven years. She explains her ordeal. “I got married in 2008. I was a virgin. But then, we have been trying to have a child but to no avail. After waiting for several years we went to the hospital and they did some test for me and my husband. The result showed that I was medically okay. However, the test shows that my husband has some chromosome defects.  In his case, we are told he is born with two X chromosomes and one Y chromosome (instead of one X and one Y). This caused abnormal development of his reproductive organs.” she explained.
 “My mother-in-law does not understand. She thinks it is my fault that we don’t have a child. She has been very impatient that we have not given her a grandchild. She calls me every time to ask if I  have taken in. Is it my fault? ”Chollom said.
However, medical experts say 30 % of infertility problems are caused by men.
Dr. Thompson Odeku a Clinical Fellow at the Nisa Premier Hospital, Abuja, said ,“30% of infertility problem is caused by the male factor, 35% is caused by tubal and pelvic pathology in women, 15 % by ovulation dysfunction and another 15 % is unexplained.”
“It takes two to tango, you can no longer say infertility issue is caused by the women alone, men also should go and have themselves checked. It is cheaper to do the men’s investigation than to do the female investigation. So the couple should be evaluated and where ever we find challenges we proffer solution,” Odeku said.
Odeku said effective treatment is available today to enhance nature’s deficiency through assisted conception treatments. Assisted conception includes In-vitro Fertilisation (IVF), intrauterine insemination (IUI) and more. Most infertility problems are medical problems and there are effective treatments.
Odeku advised couples with infertility challenges to start looking for fertility solution early.
 “Once you see there is a problem, seek medical solution. For instance, if the fallopian tubes are blocked, IVF is advised. If it is the male that has a challenge, IVF is also advised.  Whenever any problem is detected at the early stage, it can be curbed and if it is curbed you will not have delayed conception.” Odeku added.
But again, time shall tell when God chooses to answer Agnes Saleh’s prayer.