Inside hard lives of HIV/AIDS couples
Usman Abubakar Ziko was diagnosed with HIV in 2001, but he lives a normal life, thanks to the use of ARV drugs which are given to him at the clinic of the then Specialist Hospital in Bauchi. But in the course of receiving his drugs at the ART clinic, he met and fell in love […]
Usman Abubakar Ziko was diagnosed with HIV in 2001, but he lives a normal life, thanks to the use of ARV drugs which are given to him at the clinic of the then Specialist Hospital in Bauchi. But in the course of receiving his drugs at the ART clinic, he met and fell in love with the woman who would later become his wife. “I knew she was HIV positive as I was and wanted to marry her but I could not, because of financial constraints,” he said. Then Ziko added: “Until BACATMA (Bauchi State Agency for Control of HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis/Leprosy and Malaria) came up with a match-making programme in 2008 and the support they give those who agreed to marry. I was given N50, 000 and my wife was given N40, 000.We now have two kids who are free of HIV.”
Ziko said they have been living very positively because they had been adequately counseled. “When we want to have children, we seek for medical advice,” he said. “They place us on a special diet for a particular period until our immunity, especially the mother’s, is high, when the virus load is low. That is the period when they advise the mother to conceive because her body will withstand the pregnancy.”
Love story
Ziko said none of their neighbors or relatives has discriminated against them because of their HIV status and their wedding was not conducted in secret. “We invited people to our wedding and people accepted. We don’t experience any stigma either from our family, relatives or neighbors. People know our status. We told even our eldest child of five years and he knows our status.”
If they have any problem, he said, it is their weak economic power. “Our wives are advised not to breastfeed the children but give them Instant Formula. This food is expensive and way above our income.”
But Malam Baba Umar, a lecturer at the Department of Psychology of the Abubakar Tatari Ali Polytechnic, Bauchi, said: “These marriages are conducted in secret because of fear of victimization. The poor among them find it difficult to live a convenient married life. They are not receiving full support from relevant agencies. Maybe, one day, we would come to see HIV-positive people as people like us who just happen to be suffering from an ailment whose cure, like cancer and sickle cell, has not been found yet.”
Then there is the story of Rabi Ibrahim, a mother of two and married to Hassan Mohammed, another HIV-positive person. Both got married through BACATMA’s match-making programme. Rabi’s former husband died of HIV and so did the child they had together. She met her current husband at the ART clinic of the Specialist Hospital.
Rabi’s husband, Mohammed, said: “We started talking and she told me about her husband, that he died of HIV/AIDS and that she too was positive. I told her that my first wife died of the disease and so the child we had together. We really love each other and when we heard of this programme we indicated our interest and got married in 2008. Before then I used to visit her. Initially, some people tried to discourage me, pointing out her HIV status, without knowing I too have the virus.”
Have virus, will work
The biggest challenge facing these ‘HIV/AIDS couples’ and many others like them who choose to marry among themselves is their poor financial status. Most of them lack jobs or vocational skills as well as the capital to buy tools required to carry out the trades they learn.
Hadiza Aliyu, a trainer with Care and Support for Positive Citizens, said: “I pity those whose husbands died of AIDS and are left with nothing. Even those we train cannot put what they learn into practice and earn money because the tools are not there. Donor agencies should also think of providing those who are trained with tools to work with as well as some working capital.”
Miles of red tape?
Dr. Rilwan Muhammad is the first Chairman/Executive Secretary of BACATMA who, few month after his appointment, initiated the matchmaking programme. The chairman told our correspondent on phone that the agency has so far ‘hooked-up’ the marriages of 142 of such couples and out of this number 48 had successful deliveries with their children delivered free of HIV. The BACATMA boss said those joined into marriage are couples who have responded to treatment. “We advise them to use condoms throughout their married life until they decide to conceive,” he said. “When the couples decide to conceive they are to drop the use of condoms from the first day the woman starts menstruating for 10-15 days. The moment the woman conceives they go back to using condoms.”
Dr. Muhammad explained that BACATMA was initially giving all couples that agree to wed under the programme the sum of N50, 000, “but as their number increased we reduced it to N30, 000 and now N20, 000.”
The Chief Medical Officer of the Abubakar Tafawa Balewa University Teaching Hospital, Bauchi, Dr. Mohammed Alkali said match-making by BACATMA allows the couples to fulfill their other social needs and responsibilities in spite of having a life-long disease. He said: “If one realizes early that he has HIV and is on regular treatment his life span is as good as people with other chronic diseases. Unlike the previous position when it was a terminal illness now mainly because of anti-retroviral drugs and better understanding of the management of the disease the situation has changed and it is no longer a terminal disease.”