Is bathing children solely the wife’s responsibility?

In a home where couples have up to three or four toddlers and  teenagers the job of making them to go to sleep, waking them and getting them set for school early ought to be shared by the couple if they are the type that do not like the services of house-helps. But frequently the […]

In a home where couples have up to three or four toddlers and  teenagers the job of making them to go to sleep, waking them and getting them set for school early ought to be shared by the couple if they are the type that do not like the services of house-helps.
But frequently the wives are the ones allowed to burden themselves over these duties, particularly having to bathe the children.
But why do some of the male parents shy away from this simple and adorable work, which really bonds the parents, or the fathers in this case, to the impressionable children?
Young fathers in particular find it very hard to bathe their children? Could it be pride?
Few male parents spoken to doubt that they could shy away or allow pride to discourage them from helping their wives to bath their children.
A young journalist who has a happy marriage with his beautiful Gift, Ubong Inyang asked how can he be shy to bathe his baby boy and prepare him for his kindergarten class!
Ubong said: “I am very happy to bathe him. I even change his soiled nappies. Why not? I have to help my wife when she is busy at something else. How can pride stop me from attending to Prince, my baby boy. I want my children to be free and closer to me unlike when I grew up under a strict and disciplinarian parentage?”
Another, Reuben Bojor in his 30s said he has always bathed his children almost on daily basis and doesn’t feel anything about it.
Elders and mass media veterans, Edem Umoh Edem and Emmanuel Takim Obi, both in their 50s said taking time to bathe, feed, dress up and freely interact with their children build lasting and very close relationship between them and their children.
Obi said it makes him happier when his children open up to and freely relate with him because from the outset when they were toddlers, he never despised the duties of constantly cleaning them up.
Such, he said, make the children not to be scared of fathers but rather draw the children to them as friends and mates.
Edem said, “It is good for fathers to assist their wives in household chores, including bathing, feeding and dressing up the little ones. That alone bring in more love between couples. The wives won’t look down on husbands, or question their behavior all because they submit to helping their women. I encourage fathers to help bathe children and feed their children. Sometimes, your wife could be working, the husband should be duty-bound to care for the little children. A good hubby should simply help out.
“Let no mistake be made about this thing. Children will become drawn to the fathers who come down to bathe and clean them and frequently entertain their ‘silly’ attitudes.  In the event that some mothers are harsh, the children will love the fathers more who cuddle them,” he said.
Edem advised that it is good for the two parents to jointly raise their children. “It is bad for fathers to distant themselves from their young ones. It is nothing wrong if fathers wake up and first greet their children ‘good morning’ instead of always waiting to be greeted first.”
However, a particular class of young fathers are most guilty of this!  They are those who are described as the upwardly mobile; the young busy executives. Such ones who often clad in ‘hard jeans’, cruise about in posh cars and hang out at ‘joints’.
Jones Matthew Ude is one of the senior boys in Calabar. He has a young, struggling wife who toils to attend to their two toddlers.
Ude argued that it is the responsibility of the women to do those little things including cleaning the children’s mess and feeding them.
“Guy, I am too busy hustling for income to maintain the house and pay their school fees. I leave that aspect to my woman who is not complaining. I know I should but you see time is my constraint in my kind of business. I have to leave the house very early, even during weekends”, Ude said.
A house wife, 28 year-old Mrs Anthonia Uchechukwu has three children. She laments that in the absence of a ward or maid, coping with the stress of preparing them for school early enough, washing the clothes and to keep the house tidy have been a huge challenge which now is affecting her health.
A clergyman and marriage expert, former chairman of International Blessed Brothers and Sisters Fellowship of the Brotherhood of the Cross and Star, a marriage counselling group, Senior Apostle Tom Inyang-Akpan cautions couples to be all involved towards the success of the union.
“Both must work hand-in-hand to complement each other. Husbands should help the wives to ease their home tasks. Nothing should stop the husband from helping to bathe, feed his children and prepare them for school”, he said.