Is releasing salary to husband submission?

The Ochejas (not real name) have been having it tough in their marriage two months after the wife started work. The couple has been living happily together and people used to see them as ‘Tom and Jerry’ in the neighbourhood. They were the envy of other couples. In their marriage of six years, the wife […]

The Ochejas (not real name) have been having it tough in their marriage two months after the wife started work. The couple has been living happily together and people used to see them as ‘Tom and Jerry’ in the neighbourhood. They were the envy of other couples.

In their marriage of six years, the wife has not been working because they agreed she took care of the children who came in quick succession within the first three years of the union. But she recently secured a job with one of the international NGOs.

Mr Ocheja, who works with a construction firm and has been managing the home with his meagre salary, paid her transport fare to and from work all through her first month of resumption.

The rift between the couple, however, started after she worked for two months and the husband demanded she has to be submitting her salary so that they planned how it will be used for the family but madam wouldn’t subject to that.

The issue became tough and the elders were called to intervene. When asked what he wanted, Mr Ocheja said his wife should hand over her salary to him every month as the head of the family. Mrs Ocheja, however, disagreed saying she wants to manage her money all by herself.

Couple became polarized over the issue,” says Ruth Hayden, author of ‘For Richer, Not Poorer: The Money Book for Couples’.

How should couples handle their finances one may ask? Is it proper for the woman to hand over her pay cheque to her husband? Or should they have joint or separate accounts to keep the home running? These and many questions pop up as couples begin their journey together.

SmartMoney magazine’s survey found that many couples (64%) put all of their money in joint accounts, while 14% kept everything in separate accounts, and 18% have both.

Pastor Faith Oyedepo, a marriage counselor, in one of her books “’Success in Marriage’, while explaining the importance of exchange of gifts, said when two people are in a covenant of marriage, they ought to be committed to the good of one another, adding that it is however, amazing to see couples hiding money away from each other.

“Some hide how much they earn, the properties they have etc. from their partners. But such acts reveal that they do not understand the vital characteristics of marriage covenant,” she said.

She explained further that all that a couple had before marriage now jointly belongs to them both. “Don’t allow material things to come between you and your spouse.”

Mrs Aisha Ibrahim said, though she is a salary earner, her husband has never for once asked for her salary. Instead, she said, she is in charge of home management because at the end of the month, her husband still gives her money for home keeping. She buys whatever is needed for the month and paid the bills to keep the home going.

“There are expenses I also take care of from my end and I make some savings too. If there is need at times, I also support willingly but I have never for once been mandated to.”

Information from islamweb.net reveals that husbands are responsible and obligated by the Shari‘ah to cover various expenses of the marital life, whether or not the salary is sufficient.

Disputes arise over the salary of the employed wife. Some women firmly believe that the husband should bear all the responsibilities of the marital life, and that he should not eye the money of his wife, which is a reality that husbands do not accept, especially those who are needy. This causes marital disputes that often end in divorce.

Shari‘ah courts endeavour to reconcile the husband and wife on the basis that a Muslim woman has her independent financial liability that should not be affected by the man’s right to be in charge and that the husband is the one responsible for maintaining her and her children financially.