Islam: The question that changed my life – ex-Outlawz member

Weekend Magazine: Tell us about your earliest memories?Mutah Beale: I would say my earliest memory involves my mother. I remember biting on her skin trying to wake her up after she and my father were brutally shot to death in front of my siblings and I at our home. With no parents left to care […]

Weekend Magazine: Tell us about your earliest memories?
Mutah Beale: I would say my earliest memory involves my mother. I remember biting on her skin trying to wake her up after she and my father were brutally shot to death in front of my siblings and I at our home. With no parents left to care for us, I and my siblings moved to live with our grandmother who also had other grandchildren to take care of. We all grew up as one big family. Asides my parents, my grandmother was all I had; she had the better part of my memories as a child. She strived to make sure we were taken care of.
How did you get into rap music and eventually making it big?
Surrounded by  poverty and corruption of the ghetto, I wanted to make it on my own. I even tried doing drugs and on my first day I was caught and arrested on drug charges. It broke my grandmother’s heart to hear I was arrested for drugs. So, I decided to pursue a career in rap music since I was good in poems and all that. I started by rapping for the different groups on my street by just rapping about the normal day to day happenings in life and they liked it and I made little money from there.
After years of rapping, I was introduced to a very well known rapper and was given the opportunity to rap for him. The well known rapper is Tupac Shakur. Tupac invited me to join his crew the Outlawz and from there I was instantly propelled into fame. We had all the fame, money, women, best houses and all the good things of life, but I still wasn’t happy. I couldn’t find the inner peace I desired.
At what point did you decide ‘this is it. I’m done with this kind of life’?
It all started when my grandmother died. That period was the beginning of my high point in life turning low. My grandmother, who took me in as an orphan passed away. Then I learnt firsthand that money couldn’t buy happiness. I was really touched by her death. To distract myself from the pain I was feeling I continued to rap with the group, but then I was hit again by another tragic blow with the death of Tupac. Tupac was like a brother to me. Though, that was not the first time he was shot, I thought like the first time he will get out of this second gun attack. Unfortunately, it wasn’t so. As if that was not enough, the death of my childhood friend Yufea Kadafi again struck me deeply.
I then began to wonder why everything and everyone who gave me hope were being taken away one by one. I asked myself, ‘Is this really life? Is violence and pain all that there are in life?’ I took refuge in drugs and alcohol as a distraction from the sad reality I believed life to be.
One day while recording I got into a violent fight with my younger brother. I kept hitting his head till it started bleeding and would not stop. We were pulled apart and one of the people present in the studio came and asked me a question. He asked how I would feel if I woke up the next day and found out I had killed my brother. I felt sad instantly. He went on to ask me if I was a Muslim. That was a question that changed my life forever. Something inside me inclined that I say ‘Yes’   though I knew little to nothing about the religion. I became curious about the religion and began to research Islam. Interestingly, as I researched, I realized that Islam was the way I wanted to live my life. I took the Muslim declaration of faith and went for Hajj and for the first time in my life I felt peace, the peace I couldn’t feel even with the entire world at my feet.
While with the Outlawz, you did not leave your beards but now you do. Did you see leaving of the beards as part of being a true Muslim?
Prior to being a Muslim, I didn’t understand the whole idea of shaving and not shaving the beard. Before now, I shaved because I had to and believed it was the right way to look. After accepting and understanding Islam, there are hadiths that the Prophet (SAW) said we could cut the moustache, but categorically said ‘do not touch the beards’. So, keeping my beards is following the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW).
Did you try to convince your former group members that they could find real peace in Islam?
By the grace God all members of the Outlawz are Muslims today. We have all given everything up for Allah.
Can you share the major challenges you faced when you reverted to Islam?
One of the hardest challenges I had to face was to leave the industry. For me the music industry was a way of life. This was the way of life I knew and this was the way I made my money. But thanks to Allah, He made it easy for me to walk away. When I went for my first Hajj in Mecca, I was without my mobile set for two weeks and so many other things. It was just me and Allah for two weeks. So, when I came back from Hajj, the whole thing looked bizarre to me and I couldn’t see myself going back to that sort of life. So I called it quits. If I wanted the inner peace I had experienced for two weeks to continue I had to give up the life I had and that was it. It wasn’t easy but here I am today living the kind of life I want.
You were like a brother to Tupac Shakur. Did he convert to Islam while in prison as many were claiming?
Tupac never accepted the religion of Islam; he died as a non Muslim.
After accepting Islam and quitting the music industry, what happened to the riches you made? Do you still get proceeds from your albums that are still selling?
This reminds me of someone who said when he accepted Islam, his money also accepted and converted to Islam.  Allah be praised, one of the things that I had to walk away from asides the music industry was the money also involved. In the music industry in the US we receive cheques every six months. So, I had to ask a sheikh if it was permissible for me to still receive money from the music industry   though I had converted to Islam. The sheikh said it was not permissible if I was still in the entertainment industry, but in a case where the money was coming every six months   though I was no more there that means it was permissible. It was permissible in the sense that the money would not be used for my personal use but used for the needy, to build toilets and other things. Being human we are not all perfect and didn’t want a situation where I will be tempted to spend the money on myself, so I had to walk away from it completely by letting the money go.
What advice would you give to those who find themselves in the same situation with you in the past?
First of all, I would advise the person to be honest about really giving up the bad life for the sake of Allah. I will advise them to constantly pray for the guidance of Allah because it would be a tough period in his/her life. It’s not going to be easy, but with your faith and belief you will surely overcome all the hurdles in this life. May Allah guide and protect us all, amen.
On the other hand many of us were born into the religion of Islam and many converted, but deep down we don’t really understand the true meaning of Islam, because we put our culture before our religion. It is important that we understand Islam so that we can practice it the right way. We should be able to adhere to the teachings of our Prophet (SAW) and his sunnah. Only this way can we find the desired peace we seek for on earth.
How many wives do you have and how many children?
(Laughing) Praise be to Allah. I have one wife and five kids. In the aspect of polygamy Allah has conditions attached to it. If you know you cannot be just between all wives, then going into polygamy will be contradicting what Allah has said.
Where are you based now?
By God’s grace I am based in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, which is my new home now.