It’s now your turn!
Indeed, we are living in a society which is rapidly losing its identity, its principles and its values to customs totally in contrast with what we hold sacred. In this global competition for cultural dominance, ours has received consequential bashing, threatening to leave the next generation more confused than we are today. As a result, […]
Indeed, we are living in a society which is rapidly losing its identity, its principles and its values to customs totally in contrast with what we hold sacred. In this global competition for cultural dominance, ours has received consequential bashing, threatening to leave the next generation more confused than we are today. As a result, it becomes almost inevitable for persons like Aisha to help in retaining the little sanity left which we all hope will grow if well nurtured. But a time when your immediate society can benefit from you is not the time to quit. It is like letting a drowning man go without much effort. The profits that accrue from any attempt to salvage our culture from excessive adulteration should not be taken for granted. For it is this pilfering that is with impunity tearing our society apart. Training our children alone will not produce the kind of society we wish them to grow up in, this is only a stepping stone. The greater challenge lies in making the wider society know that we are failing as a people because we have forgotten our values.
True we have a responsibility to our families, especially those young ones, full of innocence, that look up to us for support. We have, if for no other reason than the fact that the Prophet (SAW) warned us not to neglect our responsibilities as we are all shepherds and in the afterlife, will all be questioned over how we tended to our flocks. Lest we forget, the Prophet (SAW) also admonished us to be beneficial to mankind saying “the best among you is he who brings benefit to others.” Similarly, the Holy book of Islam commands the believers to encourage good deeds and dissuade evil. Elsewhere, Rasulullah (SAW) again directed believers to correct evil with their hands, or with their tongue or least of all, detest evil within their heart. Thus should Malama use her pen to edit or modify a blasphemous statement meant for public consumption, she’s complying with the above Hadith. It will be a big disservice to our community if all married women should return to their homes and cater for their children their entire lives.
We have a lot to learn from one another. My children need to learn from Malama Aisha what I cannot teach them. Her neighbour’s children and even their mothers, who might not be obliged to be present while she is holding her ta’alim with her children also have something to learn from her. Withdrawing this service to only her own family seems a little inappropriate.
Besides, coming out of yesterday, one believes one has enough experience to share with the former General Editor, Malama Aisha. Today, yours sincerely has realized that the writer’s mind is like that of an intellectual that dies without constant challenges. Like the intellectual’s mind, the journalists’ skills feed well from constant brainstorming, interaction with persons of like mind, inquisitiveness and the insatiable urge to communicate. Hiding under the cover of parenthood kills this passion because one tends to become lazy, afterall, there are no deadlines to beat. And once one begins to feel content with what one has achieved, not daring to explore new ideas nor indulge in positive curiosity, danger looms. Before you realize it, you might be asking your little ones to teach you what you used to teach them.
This writer recalls around 1999 when Hajiya Bilkisu Yusuf then inquired why she was off the pages of the papers. Without apparently giving her a convincing reason, she advised me to make a u-turn or else, to quote her “you’ll stagnate.” Back then, it made little sense. Unknown to me, she was only putting it mildly. Perhaps what she really meant was “degenerate”. Degenerate indeed one would. Now, arriving into a familiar territory, I realized that while I was away, some things elsewhere took their leave, too. Indeed, the world is dynamic and before you know it, you’ll be living inside the primitive, embarrassing even those you stayed back for.
To strike a balance between carrier and family seems a better option.
Indeed, the hope of any mother is to watch her children grow into responsible people. Yet, it is not the amount of time one spends with them that guarantees this but, spending quality time. Spending such quality time and leading one’s life by what you preach, monitoring and above all prayers are major tools to achieve this noble dream. Particularly, prayers should bear enough solace for a mother’s agitated mind. We must not make the mistake of thinking without us, things will go bad. How many orphans have grown into responsible persons in the world? With all humility, I recall how amazed my mother was when I left the children with her for this year’s Hajj. She told me many things I did not know about the children I thought I knew so well. She narrated to me, for example, how before going to bed at night, the thirteen years old daughter would pray over her four and eight years old brothers. In the morning, she would bathe the four years old then prepare bath water for the eight years old. She would then proceed to prepare their lunch boxes. As for the eleven years old sister, she washed and ironed her brothers uniforms in readiness for tomorrow as well as fought them over their homework. The only job they left for their house help, I understand was preparing meals. Mama was so surprised and so was I because these are chores I used to do. How could I have known they can be this organized? Indeed, sometimes our presence kills their initiative. Perhaps this was what emboldened this writer to move on, out of yesterday.
Therefore, a mother’s staying back to nurture her young ones is a profitable sacrifice. Striving for spiritual excellence is undeniably an integral part of success. Abandoning career however for the above two is like surrendering in the middle of a battle.
Finally, life is truly full of paradoxes. Some wives have to wrestle their way to make a career even under gender friendly environments. Why then should others give it up so easily? One would wish Malama Aisha would have a rethink. May the Almighty guide us and guide our progeny, whoever He guides, none can mislead.