Joint account with spouse: Love or wisdom?

“Good day. I am having a problem and want to share it because I need advice. I have been having a problem with my fiancé, we share a joint account and I don’t have access to it. He doesn’t notify me when he gets an alert to tell me my salary has been credited into […]

“Good day. I am having a problem and want to share it because I need advice. I have been having a problem with my fiancé, we share a joint account and I don’t have access to it. He doesn’t notify me when he gets an alert to tell me my salary has been credited into the account.  He has the ATM card. I only sense it when he tells me ‘baby we are going for shopping tomorrow.’ When his salary too gets credited I will not know. Anytime I tell him I need money he will always look for a way of fighting me so I don’t talk about the money again.
“I am tired of the whole joint account thing, because I just started work and still wearing the same old clothes which is befitting for the job I hold in my company. Recently he bought an Ipad and a new phone while I am still using the phone I purchased three years ago. He goes on a spending spree and gives himself a treat with new clothes and accessories and only dims it fit to get me a dress or two once in a while. His argument is that he is not complaining that I am not looking good and that I should be content and considers myself lucky with the money he gives me for food as not many women get the privilege of being given money for the kitchen.  Was sharing a bank account and giving access to it to him the best thing? Please help me.”
Relationship experts say operating a joint bank account with your spouse could be one of the best or worst things you ever do depending on the circumstances. Under the right circumstances, having a joint bank account brings you and your spouse together and helps you both stay on the same page with respect to saving, budgeting, spending and even investing. But in the wrong circumstances, running a joint account could lead you to financial failure, resentment, accusations, anger and sometimes divorce. Apparently, there is much at stake and it is often very difficult for most women to decide which way to go.
“Are you sure she is a Nigerian lady?” asks Serah Okocha. “No Nigerian lady in this modern time and age shares a joint account with her man.  Anyway, if she is Nigerian then she should be advised to get another account opened in her name and given to her company, that way she gets hold of  her money. Is it not glaring that this man is not the right man for her?’’
Janet Innocent advises: “my dear, quit that relationship as fast as you can, except you are ready to live with such attitude for the rest of your life in a marriage. On the other hand, you need to think twice before giving in to such a man for marriage. As a girlfriend you are lucky to have money for food, when you become a wife, your life will be over because you will be practically begging for money to feed. Read the handwriting on the wall and run for the peace and serenity of your life.’’
Temilade Thomas thinks: “she is not married to this man yet and is already sharing all with him! Even the married ones don’t. She is just being a big fool. He is not her husband and already giving all the rules on how she will run her life. I bet you when they get married she will not even be working.  She should do the proper thing and get her life back and look for someone who will respect her for who she is. As for the sharing of bank account, she made the biggest mistake of her life.’’
Nana Yaa Mawuse says: “I am lost and surprised at all this; I don’t believe it. I don’t know much about this joint account thing but please I would like to advise women generally to think like a man and act like a lady. She should be smart to get a new account if it’s a government job she has, I know it’s going to be problem but please do something fast. By the way, do you only depend on your salary; if yes, then you should start something fast to get your account back. Who has only one bank account and gives shares it with a husband not to talk of a boyfriend?’’
Olasunkanmi Biobaku notes that: “Really, this is funny. A joint account does not confirm love and in this case she is engaged and not married. Those that are married are not even advised to share joint account, not to talk of the person you are not married to yet. It is out of sense in this modern world to have to share an account with your spouse. We all have responsibilities which our different accounts can take care of. Why should he be the one to give me money to go to the market? This is a clear case of the man being in love with your money and not you. The only reason she should have agreed to such an arrangement should be that he earns more than her and she is the one that has access to money anytime she wants and not the other way round.
“Where this done, a joint account is a No-No for me! Gone are the days when love was blind, it isn’t any more these days love is not blind again.  You are working but do not have access to your money? How ideal is that?’’