Journey through disservice – the unpublished biography

–              Congratulations my friend, you broke another record. –              Thank you. I am a record breaker. –              You truly are. I think you were born to dribble. –              (Chuckles.) –              You dribbled your way into the army. –              How? –              Well, without quota system, how does a leprechaun […]

–              Congratulations my friend, you broke another record.

–              Thank you. I am a record breaker.

–              You truly are. I think you were born to dribble.

–              (Chuckles.)

–              You dribbled your way into the army.

–              How?

–              Well, without quota system, how does a leprechaun scale through recruitment?

–              Huum.

–              But you were recruited anyway and the same system ensured your rapid promotion.

–              I think I earned every promotion. Remember we fought the Evil War, the bullets lodged in this body of mine is proof.

–              So did scores of more qualified officers who did not make it to higher ranks or opulent retirement.

–              Fate.

–              You sure gave fate a helping hand in choosing who to live and who to knock out. Friends were slaughtered as much as enemies. You lived a life of suspicion until the very end and that was why you had to eliminate so many.

–              You’re being unfair to me. It was a game of life and death out there, you either kill or be killed. It would be foolhardy to sit idly by and let others take you out.

I am your conscience remember. The axiom here is – to outsiders be wily, but to your conscience be true.

–              That’s right.

–              So, it wasn’t just your colleagues in arms that fell victim; you had to set up your best friends too for annihilation. You could have spared the millionaire from Ogun to enjoy his wealth. People will keep asking why you set him up for the foxes to consume?

–              Who wears the shoe best describes where it pinches. There were local and external foxes ready to take me down. He had offended a lot of them out there and they were baying for blood. I am forever ashamed of my decision regarding him. I didn’t set him up for death but then, unintended consequences sometimes happen. He was a good man.

–              Why didn’t you just open up on how it all played out. You blamed your successor for everything.

–              I pulled the rug from under his feet quite alright, but no. I didn’t hang him, that deadly chap did.

–              The charismatic pen-pusher; why snuff him out that way?

–              He was an existential threat to everything. He knew too much, and you know information is power. He wielded too much information and had to be taken out in the interest of many powerful forces. His gruesome murder leaves a scar I can see in you. It was a clumsy job.

–              They found a fitting nom de plume for you – Diego. Insanely fitting. The Naira was doing well, and the oil was flowing, why devalue the Naira?

–              You can’t have an African currency competing with the global denominator. They wanted that broken on the point of death. It was not an easy decision to take, but it had to be taken anyhow. Even in a twilight biography, you can’t expect full disclosure. It’s dangerous.

–              Well, you see where the nation is now. On its tethers groping and grappling.

–              Well, our successors have had their chances of breaking the bond, why haven’t they? Because it is a clear and present danger. Let’s see what they have to say about their efforts to revamp the currency and the economy.

–              Not many of them would dare write on, they fear telling the truth. This is why nobody should expect me to say it as it was.

–              Why didn’t you address how you disposed of the bodies of those gallant officers you executed?

–              Certain secrets are meant to stay as secrets. One should leave room for others to make their own confessions.

That crowd was epic. Nobody expected anything that had to do with the man they love to hate to attract the who-is-and-was-who? Somebody said never was there an event that gathered all the country’s problems in one place.

–              Well, to quote a wondering leaf it was because they were all involved.

–              Can you expatiate?

–              Forget their saintly disposition – each one of them has passed by the hilltop to kiss the ring. I am not just the evil genius, I am the quintessential godfather.

–              They believe they wouldn’t get anywhere without you?

–              When you are so idolized, keep them guessing. It was nice of them to show up.

–              Why?

–              Because after such a public show of solidarity, they can’t go back to revile me. Our people see through subterfuge.

–              You have something on all of them that they are afraid of.

–              That, and the fact that most of them came to ensure that the secret of their involvement in all the acts stays sealed. Some came in conscientious solidarity while others came just to ensure that what their skeletons remain sealed in the cupboard of silence.

–              Why call it a biography when the memoir seals the real truth?

–              Truth is relative. How many people appearing in court and swearing on holy writs tell the whole truth? Those who tell the truth go to the priests for confession. This is the account I leave for the public. The real deal will go down with me.

–              Is there anything in this slabber that comes to the truth?

–              Truth is a concept – just like beauty. You cannot fault the account of my early life, and the eulogy to the only woman who stood with me and shared it all with me. Anything else is open to conjecture. This is the hallmark of old Diego, remember? While we were in power, we discovered that our people love to talk; so, throughout our stay in power, we opened the gargoyle of discourse for them to yap freely. They lapped it all up and that kept them busy.

–              While the deals were done! They say that you waited until those likely to contradict you were dead.

–              Don’t we all have aspects of our lives that we want sealed? Most of us do. That is why we subscribe to the concept of Judgment Day, isn’t it?

–              You believe in the afterlife?

–              Whether or not I believe is immaterial. After passing through here with the significant impact made (positively or negatively), it’ll be unfair not to leave something for people to chew. Testing loyalty is a military tradition. When I’m gone, I won’t know who stayed loyal and who didn’t. It is gratifying that all loyalists showed up to pay their last respects. That’s all that matters. Critics think that they knew what really happened. Well, it would remain conjecture. I’ll swear they’ll keep speculating. I can live with their excoriation.

–              You are lucky the guy from Kano didn’t make it.

–              You know what? I am happy he is not here.

–              What about dogon Daura?

–              I can deal with his absence. I don’t expect him to forgive me for what happened to his ambition. But remember, in spite of it all, he came to the rock to kiss the ring (smiles).

– You’ve set the nation on fire again, 32 years after stepping aside, you’ve stepped back into the ocean of controversy.

– Keep them guessing!