Knowing when to keep quiet

During a 1962 economic recession, Paul and his team were struggling to find a way to help his sales force during this trying period. Knowing they were surrounded with negative messages coming from all directions, the company set a goal not to read the newspaper, not to watch television and not to listen to any […]

During a 1962 economic recession, Paul and his team were struggling to find a way to help his sales force during this trying period. Knowing they were surrounded with negative messages coming from all directions, the company set a goal not to read the newspaper, not to watch television and not to listen to any gossip for 30 days, but simply to go out and work. They increased production by 50 per cent. “When you concentrate on the positives in your life, you stir up the desire to get moving, to seize the day, to take action, to conquer every adversity that jeopardizes well-being or prosperity,” Paul said.
Simple as this step is, it is not one that many can get themselves to take on in today’s society, but it proves the power of staying focused and ignoring certain situations in order to achieve set goals.  
For Bernard Henshaw, “it’s like the saying what you don’t know will not kill you. I like to pay deaf ears to things people say and when someone comes to tell me somebody said so and so about me, my immediate reaction is to say, ‘I don’t care and I don’t want to know.’”
The 47-year-old taxi driver admits that it sometimes helps to hear what others say or think about you. “Agreed that sometimes these information may have their uses in terms of alerting you on how to relate with certain people and better enlighten you about other people’s true thoughts about you, I dare say the negative effects far outweigh the positives if you decide to shut your ears to them,” Henshaw said
In the same light Grace Achu said  “growing up my mother had a line she used all the time: ‘No be everything eye see, mouth dey talk, and no be everything ear hear, mouth dey talk’ [sic]. From very early I learnt to look away and speak only when necessary.”
The Utako housewife said it takes a lot to be able to tell when those necessary times are. “But over the years, I have discovered that it pays to be more cautious with reacting silently than being vocal. Sometimes your assumptions are incorrect and if you have a conscience this is not a situation you want to find yourself in more than one time.”
One should learn not to comment on everything, said Zaratu Ahmad. Giving reasons why it’s important to ignore some things, the Civil Servant at the Ministry of Education said “there are things that happen you should pretend you haven’t seen. If you have to respond to or make a comment on every situation, I can only imagine what your blood pressure will be like.”
The mother of five said there are a lot of things that happen which are actually not worth mentioning. And if it is in a case where people expect you to react a certain way like loosing your cool, disappoint them. That will completely disarm them and get them off balance as they will not be able to decipher what exactly your feelings are to the situation.
A situation which provokes many to respond is when they are insulted. According to the book, ‘Self-Confidence: Formulas, Stories, and Insights’ by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin, “when a wise person is insulted, he acts as if he doesn’t know anything’s been said. He acts toward the insult like a deaf person who does not hear and a mute who cannot speak. He walks away as if nothing happened. He does not repeat the incident to anyone.”
Pliskin said “on the other hand, people who respond to insults – or even worse, tell others how someone insulted them – cause themselves humiliation.
“Learning to ignore insults is a valuable skill. Mentally prepare yourself in advance to act as if you are totally deaf when it comes to hearing insults.”
Trying to pay attention to everything and feeling the need to comment on everything can be a major distraction.
On his blog, Dragos Roua explaining the need to stay focused said “focus is the actual builder of your reality. It is the fluid that makes it move, change and look alive. Without your focus, things aren’t there. They might be (and this is something you can be aware of) but they aren’t there for you, for your reality. Focus creates everything around you and this is a subtle yet incredibly important shift form your standard reality approaches.
The blogger adds that, “Learning to ignore is the first step in growing your focus power. Not to mention that allowing yourself to ignore things you don’t want is a form of self-respect. Nobody can force you to do anything if you don’t want.”