Let’s face it, Buhari is wrong
There will be no revolution even if there is rigging in 2015. GMB is wrong, Nigeria does not hold elections, what it holds are selections. In other words, those who would occupy positions come 2015 have been selected and they know themselves. Unlike GMB, they do not need issue-based campaigns and surely even if Occupy […]
There will be no revolution even if there is rigging in 2015. GMB is wrong, Nigeria does not hold elections, what it holds are selections. In other words, those who would occupy positions come 2015 have been selected and they know themselves. Unlike GMB, they do not need issue-based campaigns and surely even if Occupy Nigeria makes the whole country boycott the polls, the trees in the Sahara; the sand in the Delta and the stones elsewhere would surely affix their thumbprints to the ballot papers to give our great party the best victory ever contrived since Vladimir Putin took over the Kremlin. As long as the oil flows from Niger-Delta the way poverty flows in the north; the wheels of corruption will continue to be the determining factor of governance in our country.
I am still wondering like Patience in Wonderland, how the General could use the code word ‘rigging’ with such nonchallance. The meaning of that word has been altered by the geniuses at the Academie Wadata Plaza. That means that anybody using it outside the Rock is committing serious sedition and should be liable to the same failure that meets majority of Nigerian youngsters who go to WAEC/NECO halls hoping to pass with nothing but the things their teachers taught them. If officials of the CPC are still bandying words like ‘contest’ and ‘voting’ in this land of democracy, it should advice itself and expunge it from its lexicon.
The general advice to the General’s supporters and all those who think that they can Ribadu corruption out of the system through the ballot box is this – take terminal leaves from politics and don’t bother voting. Voting is what French people do, when they are tired of babysitting Carla Bruni instead of letting Nicolas Sarkozy do it himself. The French being no strangers to revolution, they started the first as a result of the hike in the price of wheat bread. Stupid French, they should have tried cassava bread and let Marie Antoinette live to her ripe old age.
GMB ought to know that the other thing that inspire revolutions is the non-availability of rice. Who cares in Nigeria if Thailand is marooned. We have Bida, Abakaliki and Ofada rice served exclusively in Madam Patience’s kitchen. No need to angle for this rice because those who feed on it deliver on nothing where action, valour and chivalry is required, except of course insecurity and sloppiness. Not to worry, those who eat these special delicacies have benefitted from the Transformation Agenda exclusively turning old women into young Dames. If I lie, take a look at the new official portrait of the First Lady, especially under the umbrera.
Why should the general talk about voting except of course he is a shareholder in Attahiru Jega’s multimillion Naira spinning machine. Tell me who benefits from elections? Married women and young children who need to see the faces of their breadwinners once every four years or once in a blue moon. Since Boko Haram rules the day and armed robbers take over the night, it is difficult for children to listen to Tales by Moonlight even in a blue moon. Is the General suggesting that we close down the country more so that men who need an extra bride can go to Kano under the guise of election duty?
The problem with General Buhari is that he is a believer. He should be an enquirer instead. If he is not too obsessed with his own rank and the rivalry between soldiers and police officers, he could learn a thing or two by having a secret conversation with all the inspector-generals who have served since demons unleashed their craze on our nation. Maybe ask the ACF to summon Ring-Him for a glimpse at the last Rigging Manual before Abubakar has the time to upgrade it.
By far the greatest sacrilege of GMB is breaking the last command of our president. The commander in chief has banned any talk of 2015 and everybody has fallen in line. The General should perhaps watch more NTA than YouTube and he would see that rather than check out as Idiagbon suggested, Andrew Azazi has joined the opposition, making the president don his rank of general and commander in chief. The new uniform fits our president as rags fit a scarecrow only it hasn’t delivered on security. Boni Yayi is my witness.
A man who is sleeping through his first year in office does not want his slumber disturbed by people reminding him of what would happen three or five years later. Not if the sound of bombs, poverty, penury, insecurity, deaths, accidents and kidnapping could not succeed in disturbing that sleep. Those who say that all the system needs to do is prevent the prophetic anarchy by not rigging are striking at our party’s jugular. It will not happen and if they heat up the polity, things can get worse. Ask Henry Okah. All the furore is not that GMB gave the panacea against bloodshed, it is the fact that he appeared to have jettisoned his decision not to run again. Somebody should advise the General that nothing breaks runners legs like the relentless party of ravenously corrupt ants chipping at the jugular of survival – corruption. Yes, indeed GMB is wrong.