Life salary for distinguished honourables
One of the biggest lies of the Naija nation is that its population is 170 million. It is a lie of the devil from census computers. Even the census conducted by Frederick Lugard is now the subject of different interpretations. How can a nation that has failed to count ever get anything right? I mean, […]
One of the biggest lies of the Naija nation is that its population is 170 million. It is a lie of the devil from census computers. Even the census conducted by Frederick Lugard is now the subject of different interpretations. How can a nation that has failed to count ever get anything right? I mean, just check and you would see that the number of those of us failing mathematics is soaring. The only reason some of us still get F9 in Maths is because the guys in Yaba do not score lower than that.
I know that Onitsha, Lagos and Kano market traders, (sorry I meant business moguls); would disagree with me. They know how to count containers, what egunje to pay Customs, and how to make the end buyer pay for the crime. #ProudlyNaija people would equally disagree; they are happy with Forbes first classification of Dangote and Alakija as the richest black people on earth. Any time Forbes changes its mind; they push back in their chair and shout – ojoro – or forgery.
When I read that the irrational assembly is proposing life salary and pension for themselves and their Oga at the Top, and the usual hoopla that’s trailing it I ordered another bottle of my favourite akara, and a mixture of zobo and kunun aya in the spirit of Ramadan. Because, after all our vituperations, certain things are given – that we are a loud bunch who are short in action. The legislathief arm knows this, and so does the executhief. They learnt s vital lesson from a political ideology known as Babangidance in which let the Naija have their say knowing that you, the ruiner would have your way. Let them wail and hail like helpless victims ravished by demented giants.
A few years ago, when Bukola Saraki and his governor colleagues were setting jumbo retirements for themselves in their respective states while leaving retirees unpaid. There was the usual noise in the market place to condemn such insanity. The noise died down and they all had their way. Voting time came and they presented themselves to be our representatives and we, ‘the good people’ of our various states rewarded them with our mandates to sit in sinnate for us. Among the perks we gave them include salaries for life, medical ‘insurance’ for life, (including foreign medical treatment for one wife and four children – as proposed by the constitution); two houses were built for them at two different locations and they get brand new cars every two years – for life.
In this month of sacrifice, their voters would do more raqqa prayers to provide Iftar meals for their families. The Christians among them would say their chapelets for God to bring them into collision with divine ‘helper’ as they do night vigils. You hear them on radio phone-in programmes ‘begging’ their governor to please pay workers their salaries or on labour to shelve their strike so that their children could write junior WAEC. They are very likely the ones to queue at the house of the politricians begging for money to pay school fees, feed or buy fertilizers. Yet, they are the ones to excuse their munafiqeen (hypocrite) non-performing, non-salary paying governors who play politics with common patrimony by spending public funds on feeding programmes during Ramadan only to complain they are broke and cannot pay salaries after.
There are Naija and there are Naija. Those who truly register on citizen list since Mama Charlie’s envoy lowered the Union Joke are less than 5,000. If you are Naija outside this number, you live to serve them. We will continue to get little or nothing from the system because we continue to be who we are. We are not ready for change, and I don’t mean APC’s definition of change.
So, in this brouhaha over life pension for a four or six year work or lack of it, I have nothing to say except that any smart editor can make more readers from those who spew fire and brimstone when such issues are raised. In these days of scarcity of any critical news, this is a welcome side attraction. After the shouting match, we would return to the coolness of the traditional water pot and the guys would get their wishes.
There’s so much talk about restructuring Naija but it would not happen with the hydrocephalic democracy we have copied from America. The question is who will bell the cat? Who will scrap the legislathief arm at all levels and free funds to govern? Certainly not the people we want sacked. Certainly not most people, including yours sincerely who eye the prospect of becoming the president of Yagba Republic. So while we are pursuing our ethno-religious agenda – the real Naija are strategizing. What more, if ‘elections’ were held tomorrow, these clowns and goons would return with their varying titles like – distinguished honourables – because in Naija the politician distinguishes himself by calling the voter a common man. As long as we have assemblies, no meaningful change can be made!