Living with the enemy

‘You must have had a very spiritual experience, Mariya. I mean praying and shedding tears at the same time is a feat for only the spiritually-uplifted,’ I said, when she began to walk out of the room. ‘No Hajiya, I’m ashamed to say that my tears were not a result of the prayer, rather in […]

‘You must have had a very spiritual experience, Mariya. I mean praying and shedding tears at the same time is a feat for only the spiritually-uplifted,’ I said, when she began to walk out of the room.

‘No Hajiya, I’m ashamed to say that my tears were not a result of the prayer, rather in spite of it. I have tried so hard since morning to control them but I couldn’t,’ she answered, standing by the doorway.

‘Is there any way I can help?’ I asked, gesturing to her to sit.

‘I don’t know whether you can help, but it might ease my pain to just talk about it,’ she replied, sitting down. ‘Last night my husband received a phone call at about 11.30pm. I was already asleep when the ringing woke me up. He picked up the phone and started to talk, comfortably and casually as if there was nothing wrong with a call that late. When the conversation progressed it became obvious from his responses that he was speaking to a female. I tried to block the noise with my pillow but I couldn’t, after all he was lying right next to me. So I sat up, in order to alert him that I was awake and so could hear everything. He just wasn’t bothered, he continued to talk. It was not until I rose to leave the room that I heard him say to his caller ‘You better end this call now, you know your senior wife is the very jealous type, she has been eyeing me all this while.’

‘The moment I heard that, I lost control. I rushed back and grabbed the phone from his hand and flung it right across the room. He burst out laughing and saying ‘Do you think that could stop anything?’ I said I didn’t care whether it could stop anything or not but I want whoever his caller was to respect my privacy. I told him that he could talk to her anywhere and for any length of time, but he must never think I will tolerate this level of insolence again. In the morning, while he was in the bathroom, I looked for the phone where I threw it in order to see whether it was damaged. Amazingly it was in perfect shape, but his caller, whose name he saved in initials had text to say ‘So it is because of that woman that you had to end our call abruptly. Anyway just go back to your crazy wife.’

At this point Mariya broke down completely in serious, heartrending sobs. ‘I’m sorry, Mariya, this must be very hard for you to take,’ I consoled her, moving over to her side of the table patting her shoulder.

‘What made it so painful, Hajiya, was that this woman knows she can call me ‘crazy’ and get away with it. She knows that she is free to insult me. If she had any idea that as his wife I deserve some respect she would not have tried it. Does this mean he had always insulted me himself or he had given her the impression that I was so worthless it is okay to show me disrespect? I couldn’t stay in the room any longer. I went to my own room to pray but was all the while asking myself where I went wrong. I was too angry and heartbroken to remain after serving his breakfast and I haven’t stopped crying since.’ She concluded.

‘What did he say?’

‘I didn’t bring up the topic with him because I was too confused to know what to say. As far as I’m concerned, we were happy in this marriage. I had no idea he was involved with any woman outside. A few times I have walked into the room and seen him trying to end a call. Once when he was rounding up a call at 11pm, I had to ask who it was and he said it was a colleague who wanted to know something before they resumed work in the morning. I never gave the matter another thought because I had no reason to doubt him. Now, suddenly this,’ Mariya explained.

‘So, do you intend to bring the matter up when you reach home this evening?’ I asked.

‘Actually, all I intend to do after reaching home this evening is to pack out of that house. I plan to pick my son from school and simply go home to my parents. The marriage isn’t worth it if I have to endure this humiliation,’ she replied.

‘No I don’t think you should do anything so drastic. Try to talk to him first…’

‘No, Hajiya. Didn’t you hear what he said? He laughed and said my outburst wouldn’t change anything when I snatched his phone. I just don’t know the man he has become. Or maybe I just never knew him all along. May be all this time, I have actually been living with the enemy,’ she interrupted.

‘Ok, then in that case bring in the elders. In marriage whenever you perceive that a problem is beyond the two of you, you are advised to bring in two responsible and trusted elders, one from each side so that they can mediate between you. Frankly I think it’s too early to walk out on this marriage. Just invite these mediators and wait to see how things will go. Stop crying. Please compose yourself and try what I just said,’ I advised.

‘Ok Hajiya. I already have two people in mind for the job, my uncle and his elder brother,’ she said, standing up.

‘That’s good, may Allah guide them to mediate well,’ I said.

‘Ameen and thank you very much Hajiya,’ she smiled weakly and left.

Several hours later, when I finished my Shaf’i and Witr prayers and also concluded my nightly recitation of Suratul Sajdah and Mulk, I got ready and made my way to Tahir’s room, with trepidation. Will I meet him talking to some strange woman on phone? Will he let her grow bold enough to call me crazy wife? Will he laugh when I get angry and say this will change nothing? What will I do if Mariya’s tragedy befalls me? I reached for the door handle and almost choked with nervousness. But Tahir was already fast asleep, his newsmagazine in hand.

He was awoken by the sound of my movement in the room. He raised his head up, smiled and was about to go back to sleep when I quickly said to him: ‘If you were to receive a phone call from your sweetheart at this time of night, what will you do?’ Looking a bit confused he answered:

‘I can’t see how I can receive a phone call from my sweetheart when she is lying right next to me. However if you are talking about a future sweetheart…’

‘No, no, no please, I was talking about a present sweetheart,’ I interrupted. ‘No need to discuss the future.’

‘But you brought it up,’ he insisted, laughing.

‘Yes, I know, but forget I did. Let’s just love and make merry,’ I said, reaching out to put off the bedside lamp. Better not to know whether I am living with the enemy too, I thought.