Mairago

My campaign team and I were very happy with the Operation Blitzkrieg that we did last week. With that flood of posters, those big billboards on all the roads leading into Birnin Tafki, those leaflets we swamped the motor parks with, those sweet campaign jingles we put on the radio and especially with that opinion […]

My campaign team and I were very happy with the Operation Blitzkrieg that we did last week. With that flood of posters, those big billboards on all the roads leading into Birnin Tafki, those leaflets we swamped the motor parks with, those sweet campaign jingles we put on the radio and especially with that opinion poll we arranged in the newspaper which showed that most voters in Tafki State want me as their next governor, we really gained a lot of ground.
But my political opponents immediately fought back and they gave me many sleepless nights last week. One useless local newspaper that I had never heard of was the first to unsettle me. Early in the morning my driver came and said he saw people rushing to buy the paper so he also bought one. It had a screaming headline saying that EFCC invited me over one contract that was not executed while I was in the Ministry of Health even though the money was paid. The paper is called Tafki Herald, one rag sheet like that. We immediately alerted our Youth Leader Maitawaye. His boys went out, accosted any vendor that they saw selling that paper and gave him some dirty slaps. When they roughed up one vendor, he confessed that the paper was given to him by one man who is not a newspaper distributor. Maitawaye’s boys traced the man, found that he was Goshin Bauna’s campaign worker and they beat him up.
Even as we were dealing with that one, we heard that the state owned radio Muryar Tafki was going to do a current affairs program with some political analysts who will say that the people of the state do not like me because I stole money while in service. It was one producer in the radio station that leaked the plan to Maikahon Karo. We even found out the so-called analyst who was going to say that. He is a lecturer at the Tafki State Polytechnic. Just before he left the campus for the live program, Maitawaye’s boys went and placed iron nails under all his four tyres. As soon as he reversed, all his tyres were punctured and he never made it to the studio.
I received an invitation letter from the state branch of the Nigeria Union of Civil Servants to be a special guest at their lecture. In fact, I was entering my car on my way to the event when Tsinin Kusa came running. He said I should not go, that they had arranged with one of my former clerks in the civil service to come to the place and say he knew me to be corrupt, that no one in his right senses should vote for me. Tsinin Kusa said the whole organising committee members of the conference were bribed and they have set a trap for me. So I went back into the house. An hour later, two officials of the union came to say they were waiting for me to start the lecture; three members of my Youth Wing accosted the two of them and gave each one a dirty slap.
Even the preparation that I made for Sallah, my opponents tried to ruin it. I bought 200 rams for distribution to important party leaders and delegates for the Sallah. Maikaho’s boys went to village markets and bought huge rams. They marked each one with an “A” in red paint, meaning “Alhaji.” We drew up a list of the people who should get the rams and our boys started going in a lorry to distribute them. When they went to deliver a ram to the house of state party chairman Sallama Maikudi, his boys detained our truck and said it is not possible to send only one ram to the chairman. They climbed onto the truck and removed three huge rams, saying “go and tell Alhaji that the chairman is too big for one ram.”
When the story of what they did got to us, Maitawaye immediately assembled a team to go and retrieve the rams but I said no, we should not fight because of ordinary rams. After all, I am still hoping to get the chairman’s support during the primaries because I hear that the governor and himself have disagreements and he may turn around and support me. Unknown to me, Maitawaye rejected my decision and laid an ambush near the chairman’s house. Soon after sunset they saw a Government House lorry driving towards Maikudi’s house with many rams in it. They stopped the lorry, punctured its tyres, seized five rams and then released all the other rams on the main road. The people of the area emerged from their houses, caught the rams and disappeared with them in their houses, saying after all it is their money.
The episode really caused katakata because policemen came in the night looking for the rams. They came with those big torch lights that have six batteries. They went from house to house with the driver of the Government House lorry following them. They will enter a house, shine their torch light on any ram they see and ask the driver if he recognised it. People were very angry and said how can their houses be searched in the night just because of rams, which were even bought with government money. One man said the policemen shone their lights on his wife as she was coming out of the bath. Our Youth Wing members who were in the area quickly spread the rumour that it was Goshin Bauna who told the policemen to shine their lights on people’s wives as punishment for the missing rams.
This morning, I ran into Sallama Maikudi at the Eid praying ground. He arrived in the Governor’s entourage. I tried to walk away when I saw them arriving but Maikudi saw me and he hurried and caught up with me. He was laughing as usual and he seized my hand and said, “Mairago!” That means, owner of ram. He was clearly referring to the episode that happened near his house, trying to imply that it was my boys that caused all the mayhem. People around at the Eid ground who heard him borrowed that name. As I left the Eid ground surrounded by my aides and entered my car, a large crowd formed around us and began shouting “Mairago!”