Make your troubles disappear: Ignore them

Whatever you do, do not believe Pius Adesanmi who must have read too much of The Trials of Brother Jero to say that there are PhDs and there are PhDs except that some translate as Port Harcourt Degree.   In other climes, they will put Mama Peace in grammatical purdah until she has purged herself of […]

Whatever you do, do not believe Pius Adesanmi who must have read too much of The Trials of Brother Jero to say that there are PhDs and there are PhDs except that some translate as Port Harcourt Degree.   In other climes, they will put Mama Peace in grammatical purdah until she has purged herself of her disregard for basic rules of giramma or issue a statement saying that the First Wife has adopted Pidgin English as her official language. No, they chose to present her as better than any PhD holder either in search of a president for husband or too high-priced to attract a man. How else can a fatal blow be softened?
Having tamed the so-called Lion of Ubima, handy attack man Mbu was despatched to Abuja – to institute a police state now that the errant press has been muzzled. If you doubt, check the auditors of Daily Trust, The Nation, and Leadership how much they lost to military seizures, print immolations and vendor harassment. Check with producers who used to pick online personalities before North Korea style decree on approval from the NBC. I understand a new bill is in the works, aimed at stopping NGOs from touching foreign grants, as opposed to IMF loans. Naija never had it so good.
It used to be that Naija critics were internet hecklers, but in popular phraseology, they’ve come out of the closet and pitched tent at the Accountability Square aka Unity Fountain. Mbu issued a decree banning all non-PDP gatherings. The protesters filed a suit in court and fearing a bloody nose, Mbu’s pretended boss overruled the decision forcing the man to disambiguate his earlier order. So the #BringBackOurGirls movement continued to draw crowds except that the caravan of news has left them and the presidents girls are not missing.
Anyone in doubt has not seen the president’s Father’s Day picture in which the soon-to-be grandfather is sandwiched between his yet-to-be-married daughters and son. It was later reported that seven of the parents whose children are with Boko Haram have died from heartache. Anybody whose daughter is missing should organize an expedition to Sambisa, the president is taking good care of his own. So, we all rushed to wish Mr President a happy Father’s Day, because as they say in my part of the world, a patron knows his true kids.
For every obstacle, there’s always a remedy. Yes, the president cannot stop Kwankwaso from making his arch-enemy a traditional ruler, but he also cannot stop the president from picking his (Kwankwaso’s) successor. With all charges dropped against Mohammed Sani Abacha, there goes a governor in waiting. If he is fit for governor, he is fit for president, so cool down northerners. Anyone who watched the tsunami that swept through Ekiti over the weekend should never underestimate how swift tidal waves or was it rice paddies can alter the tectonic plates of the political landscape. Given the right weather, lightning can strike many times without making the heavens fall.
Anyone who now says that out country is not a bastion of democracy should try to compare it with Egypt where journalists have been sentenced to seven years imprisonment for reporting the opposition. This is a hard lesson for journalists all over, but especially in Naija where journalists are free to do as the government orders or be prepared for the consequences.
Through it all, Goodluck is shining. With the EFCC pretending they still have charges against his candidate, the unruffled ruining party cannoned through the southwest with a home run over the opposition. While some would advise a government still uncertain about the fate of over 100 school children should keep a low profile, those in government believe that luck outshines every calamity. They recommend that the president keep running on his lubricant of luck to prove that the sticky substance has not lost its viscosity. What more, they are in luck.
Just look at the Flying Eagles – the last icon of national cohesion and the best source of respite to a streak of bad luck. From what soccer pundits called a lacklustre performance, now check the charts. If you ignore a stubborn problem long enough, the luminescence of luck can make it go away. That is the national attitude, except for these bombs.