Marriage as a vacation

In those days no matter how young you may be when you got married, if your husband was travelling your parents or your husband’s parents would find some people ; elderly women mostly or children to stay with you. It was unheard of, for such a wife to pack few clothes and go and stay […]

In those days no matter how young you may be when you got married, if your husband was travelling your parents or your husband’s parents would find some people ; elderly women mostly or children to stay with you. It was unheard of, for such a wife to pack few clothes and go and stay in her parents’ house until her husband comes back.
But these days, some young wives with even a child or two, with the nanny quickly go and spend some days in their parents’ houses just because their husbands have travelled.
This attitude tolerated by the parents and the husbands makes one wonder about the essence of the marriage.
“What is the point of the marriage if the wife is always coming home to spend days just because her husband is not around, is she not supposed to stay and take care of her house? I blame the husbands for allowing them,”  a friend  complained.
However some believe that only the daughters of the wealthy behave like this, because they are used to being indulged in  whatever they want, so marriage does not really change how they used to live.
“At a whim, they can decide to travel abroad without seeking the permission of their husbands. They only inform them just for them to be aware. So going home to spend some days is not strange for such spoilt daughters, some may go  even if their husbands are around. This is to show how low they disregard the importance of marriage,” one man said.
According to this man, he witnessed such a case, where friends were making jokes at the expense of the  husband.
Though it is not only the daughters of the wealthy that behave in such a manner, even those that are barely getting by, do it.
 Some men try to assert their authority if they see that things are getting out of hand, no matter how wealthy the wives’ parents may be.
 In one such case, when the husband made it clear that he didn’t like his wife to be going to her parents’ house just because he travelled as she had a house girl and a security man, the girl’s parents were not happy with him.
They said it was not as if she went to some other relative’s house, but she went to their house.
Eventually, this is how the marriage ended in divorce. The husband said since he wouldn’t be allowed to take charge of his house, he was no longer interested in the marriage.
This is more so as his parents were always advising him to control his house, and not allow his wives’ parents to control him and his house.
Some may not be spending days in their parents’ houses, but they must go there  every blessed day. Those that go to work or school must go there when they close. They would go home in the night, but they would go with food for their husbands, so that they would not have to cook when they go home.
In any event, in discussing this trend with friends, many put the blame squarely on the parents, particularly the fathers. They feel that if the fathers don’t give room for the married daughters to make their marriage a vocation or a play thing where they are free to go and come as they please, the daughters wouldn’t have dared to go and spend days at home, no matter what.
“When my daughter got married few months ago, I told her that I would not tolerate such behaviour of always coming home, much less spending days.  She should stay at her house,” one mother said.
Well, be as it may, parents, husbands and wives have important roles to play in sustaining the institution of marriage, not only in name, but in reality. Therefore wives should be made to take their role as such, in staying at their respective houses, not to be regarded as daughters on perpetual vacation, even in marriage.